Lulaville

The Children Are Bored On Sundays.

2010-07-01T23:53:00.002-04:00

There's nothing I don't love about this:

I love this pairing. These two people.

I love Shirley Manson and her red hair.

I love Elijah Wood.

I love that Shirley is almost forty-four years old. Yes, I said 44.

Elijah is twenty-nine.

I love this song, entitled "Just You And Me," by Zee Avi.

I love golf balls.

I love Oliver Peoples eyewear. Who knew lenses could be so sexy?

I love every frock Shirley wears.

Look at Elijah rocking a skinny tie. And a bow tie.

We are big Garbage fans in this family.

We are big Lord of the Rings fans, as well.

I want to go on a picnic.

I long to drink champagne while in my pool. In a dress.

I probably need a zebra skin for my dining room table, as well.

I love the Stepford quality of this video.

Clearly, I love it all. Please...love it with me.

Summer Lovin'

2010-06-27T17:07:00.007-04:00

What I'm listening to:

I want Grace's hair, her voice, her body...her hair...

this CD is the soundtrack of my summer.

Gayngs' "Relayted."

I can't even begin to tell you all the artists on this album,

or describe its sound.

Just. Listen. To. It.

And love it.

'Member last summer when I was all,

"OMS, I LOVE Florence + The Machine???"

Now she's on the Eclipse* soundtrack & people are all, "Yeah, I love her, too!"

Right.

Anyway, my new power voice of choice is Marina, of Marina & The Diamonds.

She is so hard rockin'. Go love her.

She's an old friend...

Her new album is a bit of a twist from her typical fare...

...makes me wanna dance barefoot 'round my yard,

or run through the sprinklers. Naked.

Go 'head Sia. You make me happy.

I read REAL books!!!!! (Love you, Janet!)

This shall be made into a feature film,

starring Carey Mulligan & Nicholas Hoult.

I decree it.

I also decree that Jason Reitman shall direct it.

I've only read 50 pages of this,

but can hardly stand to put it down.

CAPTIVATING!

Quirky. Dark. Fascinating. Heartbreaking.

This has been reviewed as, "A contender for Great American Novel" status.

I agree.

Finished this one a few weeks ago...it's a beach read.

It's all romantic, with a lot of history and mentions of the University of Virginia.

Which is to say YOU MUST READ THIS!

(Also, I'm saying it here & now--this one BETTER be made into a movie.

I would also like to produce its soundtrack. Of course.)

Diggin' On My TV Screen:

I love an angsty teen drama,

and this one's surprisingly good.

It's filling the hole left in my heart by Chuck Bass...

...I mean Gossip Girl.

Please.

Like I need to explain this.

Y'all know I've been a fan since the very first episode.

What are you watching/reading/listening to? Do share!

*It's good, as far as soundtracks go.

Things I Never Needed.

2010-06-07T09:27:00.002-04:00

It's been almost two years since Kristen, who is my people, introduced me to Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.

Grace is also my people...her voice is all her own, yet I hear twinges of Janis Joplin, Stevie Nicks, and Carole King in it, too. And I don't care who you are, that right there is good programming.

When it's Autumn, this music makes me want to curl up with a warm blanket and a mug of coffee, and watch the leaves fall to the earth. Then summer rolls around and I'm sitting on my front porch, tea in hand, rocking the evening away...while Grace serenades me and the crickets. Yes, I dig her a whole dang lot.

"Take the mistakes I haven't made yet...they're all I have left..."

That reduced me to tears. And it's a rare song which moves me to weep.

"Grace Potter and The Nocturnals," their first album in 3 years, will release on June 8. I highly recommend it, along with their 2007 offering, "This is Somewhere."

You're welcome.

I Say It Every Day.

2010-05-26T16:13:00.003-04:00

But is it original recipe, or butter-flavored?

That's what I want to know.

My Love Letter.

2010-05-19T13:43:00.009-04:00

Has there ever been a program that so seamlessly united science fiction, literature, philosophy, religion, medicine, metaphysics, comedy and drama, along with helpings of romance and fantasy? An hour of television not only critically acclaimed, but also a pop culture phenomenon beloved by a completely fervid fanbase?

Doubful.

The zeitgeist known as Lost began on September 22, 2004, and I was hooked from the moment Charlie Pace questioned, "Guys...where are we?"

This week I've read brilliant summaries of the show, written by minds far sharper than my own, printed in publications such as Vanity Fair, Time, TV Guide, and Entertainment Weekly. I'm not going to do the same, because my efforts would fall embarrassingly short.

Instead I'm going to say thank you to the cast and crew of the show. Thanks for giving me six years of pure entertainment. When it comes to the heart of the matter, I don't care to know all the secrets of the island: polar bears, Dharma food drops, or all those notebooks sent via pneumatic tubes. Nah! I don't need to know every answer to every mystery.

My devastation at the completion of this series is that I'm bidding farewell to some of the most brilliantly written characters to ever grace the screen, big or small. These deeply flawed, hurting people, all of whom are seeking some form of redemption, all of whom have made me laugh, cry, scream, sigh, and applaud...all of whom I've grown to love these past six years.

I will miss them.

My favorite moment in Lost occurred in Season 3...

This clip, more than any other, embodies what Lost means to me. It begins with a huge measure of confusion, which rapidly becomes terrifying, before turning into an overwhelming release of joy and relief. ELATION! That, my friends, is the perfect summary of my Lost-viewing experience.

(Also...Three Dog Night. I mean, come on..."Shambala" is only one of the best, classic rock songs ever and perfectly synced in this scene.)

Thank you, Carlton Cuse, Damon Lindelof, and the entire cast and crew (both in Hawaii and California) of my most favorite television series of all time. Whether you go out with a bang or a whimper, I'll never be ashamed to admit that I am a Lostie! It's been a heck of a ride...and I'm glad I was there for it...hanging on with all my might.

Edited to add THIS:

"It's just a show but it feels like losing a friend."

Indeed.

Nickelodeon Vampire

2010-05-10T09:06:00.004-04:00

I love Rachelle Lefevre's gorgeous red mane:

I thought she did a fine job portraying evil, nomadic vampire Victoria (as shown in the above photo) in the screen versions of Twilight and New Moon. If you're planning to see Eclipse next month, know that Victoria has a new face (and much less lustrous hair), as Ms. Lefevre was fired by the suits at Summit Entertainment and replaced by Opie Taylor's daughter, Bryce Dallas Howard. Sad.

I'm willing to give Richie Cunningham's daughter a fair chance, however, but only because Rachelle Lefevre has found an even bigger audience than the Twilight crowd:

The Fresh Beat Band!

We love us some Fresh Beats*.

And cropped leggings.

Wholesome.

She's going by the name "Marina" on this half hour of song, dance, and zany fun for kids and adults, but she can't fool me. Marina is really Rachelle Lefevre.

And...check it...she got Marissa Tomei ("Kiki") to join in the good times, as well as Don Cheadle's younger brother ("Shout"), and some white guy ("Twist").

I love a great comeback.

*No, that's not really Rachelle Lefevre playing Marina. But I do think that's really Marissa Tomei. Is all I'm sayin'.

What A Wonderful World...

2010-04-28T13:39:00.003-04:00

The magazine is screaming, "MEET MY BABY!"

But I prefer the more subtle title...the one just above their heads..."World's Most Beautiful People 2010."

Because I do find Sandra Bullock to be beautiful both inside and out. Witness:

*Her Academy Award acceptance speech=Class.

*The manner in which she's maintained her dignity during her husband's reported infidelity=Class.

*How she's rightfully guarded her privacy during what I'm certain is a very painful time in her life=Class.

*That she adopted this gorgeous child, without anyone knowing. At all. And that she's obviously been enjoying him...loving him...mothering him...for the past few months=Class.

Yes, Ms. Bullock. You are C-L-A-S-S-Y and I wish you nothing but the best.

Also...THAT BABY, y'all. He is altogether delicious. Let's discuss his name: Louis. Let's discuss that she adopted him from New Orleans.

I think you know where I'm headed with this. Louis is clearly a vampire.

No, not a blood sucker. Please. As if I'd say that about a precious wee one. No, a sucker of cute, as my friend Kelly (not the hater!) so eloquently described sweet baby Louis.

And if he's not a vampire, I hope he plays the trumpet when he grows up.

The Nuance of Shade and Color.

2010-04-22T13:45:00.008-04:00

It's the time of year that women, particularly southerners, live for all winter long. Clutching pages torn from magazines, carrying color swatches, photographs, and sample books, we prepare for our mission. This all has to go down before Mother's Day, because everyone knows that all the good stuff is picked over before Mother's Day weekend. Of course.

I'm always armed with my husband's truck, as well as an old pair of clothes and flip-flops, because I need space to haul my purchases, and ease of movement. I take this job very seriously, as all well-bred women should.

Of course there will be the requisite ladies-who-lunch, resplendent in their Burberry trenches & Tod moccasins, lugging their Balenciaga totes, sunglasses perched artfully upon perfectly coiffed manes. I, however, shall grab my lunch at Pal's (Sauceburger with cheese, please!) and won't mind a bit when it spills on my bleach-stained yoga capris, and/or my favorite pink Piggly Wiggly t-shirt, the back of which reads, "I'm Big On The Pig." Word. Just keepin' it classy.

So I'm primed, I'm fueled, I'm properly outfitted, and I'm ready...

As soon as I enter the doors, the sights, sounds, and smells overwhelm me and it's all I can do to contain myself from breaking into song.

I come to the garden alone...
while the dew is still on the roses...

Yes, friends...for the next few weeks I will spend my afternoons digging in the dirt. Verbena and Angeliona and Hydrangea, oh my! I will purchase ferns from Kitten's Green Thumb in Jonesville, Virginia, because everyone who's anyone knows that Kitten (yes, that's her real name!) has the most beautiful ferns in the Tri-state area.

I'll also buy out Kitten's stock of hot pink Geraniums, too. As well as raspberry-hued Verbena, dark purple Angeliona, and hot pink Vinca.

I'm pretty much unstoppable at Kitten's Green Thumb. Nanny-nanny-boo-boo, you ladies-who-lunch. Shoulda got up from the table a little earlier.

Next I'll head to Evergreen Nursery in Kingsport, Tennessee, for purple Vinca. It's particularly lovely when paired near yellow Lantana. See?

Y'all know how I feel about The Mother Ship (more commonly known to some as Sephora), so it should come as no surprise that I approach the beautification of my yard in much the same manner. Certain colors will always find purchase in this soil of mine (all shades of pinks, blues, and purples, with yellow for contrast and white as a "filler,") whereas no hint of orange will ever see light of day up in this piece.

Please. I was raised with a modicum of dignity and taste. I know better.

Years ago my grandmother--who never wore a pair of "britches" in her life, and would never dream of leaving her house without first circling her neck with either pearls, diamonds, gold, or a combination thereof--told me that gardening was something all southern women "just did." My favorite Aunt Doris would spend hours snipping, clipping, and pruning away at her azaleas and wisteria. And even my own mother taught me the difference between annuals and perennials, proper spacing, shade lovers, and which flowers could "take the heat." I never dreamed I'd be one of those women who'd find immense joy in spending week after week covered in dirt, caked in manure, (not my own!) and drenched in sweat.

I love every minute of it.

I feel as if I've earned my birthright...honored my heritage...accepted the legacy that was genetically disposed to me, courtesy of my Mississippi born and bred parents. While the rest of the world is digging the new spring fashions, I'm happy to be digging in the dirt. And rolling around in it, too. What else would one do while wearing a Piggly Wiggly t-shirt?

Doctor Decade.

2010-04-08T08:02:00.000-04:00

'Member when we were dating and we used to talk about our love of southern names and southern homes with columns and front porches, and sweet tea and Coke in a bottle?

'Member when we got first married and dreamed that one day we'd have children with family (read: southern!) names, and live in a house with a wide front porch and columns, and drink Coke in a bottle while sitting in a rocking chair, watching those southern children playing in the yard?

'Member how we did just that? Just this past weekend?

Fifty years from now, I pray we're still on our front porch...watching our children play in the yard. With our grandchildren. And plenty of Coke in a bottle.

Period In Private.*

2010-04-01T22:33:00.005-04:00

So my family and I went to Disney World and I did this whole post about it and blogger ate it (bad Blogger!) and now it's Spring Break and all I've done is sit in the sun with my girls and run through our Pablo sprinkler and eat popsicles and I have no time to write a new post, let alone read blogs, but I do have time to hang out on Twitter intermittently (bloggy pals--get on Twitter!) and this is quite possibly the longest run-on sentence I've ever written, and I wish you could see the perfectly pink shade I've just painted my finger nails.

Also...

Have you seen this?

BRAVO, Kotex!

*Thanks to Heather, for coining this phrase. It's one of many that I've stolen from her. Don't we all just wanna period in private? In our comfy, cozy beds with a few good books, Seasons 1 and 2 of Gossip Girl, a few Snickers, and several Caramel Macchiatos from Starbucks. YES.

Not that Aunt Flo is visiting me or anything. In fact, she's not. But I'll be stocking up on my Kotex supplies, at any rate. I'll switch from the cheerleading brand. (Hi, Tony!)

I Only Have One Answer.

2010-03-22T00:34:00.005-04:00

Last week a pal of mind wondered, "How can anyone believe that Jerry Falwell is in Heaven and Gandhi is in hell?"

It's an interesting question, and one that could potentially spark a calm, rational conversation between people of varying beliefs. Or ignite the flames of passionate opinions and, probably, religious diatribe.

My reply to this friend was, "I don't know much about Gandhi, but I did know Dr. Falwell personally, and I know he's in Heaven."

I know this because I know what Dr. Falwell believed. I know in Whom Dr. Falwell believed. Because I believe the same.

Me, Beckie, and Kelley--on our alma mater's seal, 2003. We rule.

Now, I'm not one to write a controversial, pot stirring post. (The mere mention of Dr. Falwell's name seemingly causes people to squirm.)

It's why I don't write about health care reform.

Or being a stay-at-home mother versus a work-outside-the-home mom.

Breast fed or bottle.

Pro Life versus abortion rights.

Red states and blue states.

Gun control advocate or staunch supporter of 2nd Amendment rights.

Attachment parenting or Ferberizing.

Coke or Diet Coke.

Hank Williams Sr. versus Hank, Jr.

Natural nails or acrylic tips.

Target and Wal-Mart.

SPF 45 versus the tanning bed.

Lost or...well...any other television program out there.

Ahem.

The truth of the matter is I know very little about Gandhi. So I'm not one to pronounce that he is "in hell." Oh sure, I'm aware of those in our world who are filled with a piousness to rival the Pope's. Those super holy types who love nothing better than to sit around all day, pointing fingers, placing blame, and declaring, "Well if anyone's in hell, it's _______________."

Really?

Here's the deal.

My belief system is firmly rooted in God. Not God, "whomever you deem that to be," as it is politely worded in certain circles. Uh-uh. I believe in God and His Son, Jesus.

Respectfully I ask that you do not call me a Bible thumper. (The Bible I'm currently using is on my BlackBerry. Like I'd thump that modern marvel. Please.) I'm not "religious." I'm not holier-than-thou. In the same vein, I am not some intolerant, ignorant, small-minded, backwoods conservative who can't see the forest for the trees.

I don't have all the answers. And let's be honest here...I don't have many answers, period. Here's what I can attest:

"I know Whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day."--2 Timothy 1:12

Simply stated--I know in Whom I believe and what these beliefs entail. I also know that God "has my back," and is protecting me forevermore.

Do I have strong opinions on controversial subjects? Yes. As I told my friend who pondered about Dr. Falwell and Gandhi, I do have my views. And I don't apologize for these beliefs I hold deeply within my heart, because to do so would be to go directly against my God.

Do I love and embrace those with a different set of morals, worldviews, standards, political and religious beliefs? Absolutely. Because to do so means that I'm fulfilling precisely what Jesus asked of me..."Love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:31)

I'm not perfect. I've never claimed to be. My feelings are very easily hurt. My tongue has a life of its own. I whine and complain more often than I care to admit. And sometimes I cry to God, "Seriously? Are these people FOR SERIOUS? Will You do something about these people?!?"

Then He gently reminds me, "Child of mine, I love 'these people' just as much as I love you."

And that, my friends, is the only answer I have.

Just thought y'all might need to know where I'm coming from. It's not all about me. Oh, I usually try to keep it centered upon me, me, me. But it's not.

(Vulnerable, at 1 am.)

P.S. Thanks, Jordan, for sparking this conversation. You know I think so highly of you...and your intelligence...and your love of Twilight. Dude, did I just out you? xoxo

Honey, Don't Patronize Me.

2010-03-14T20:30:00.008-04:00

Here's the preface:

-There are zero sponsors on Lulaville, as well as zero advertisements.

-I don't make a dime off my blog, nor has it ever been my intention to do so. Many of my fellow bloggy pals do earn revenue from their blogs, and for this I salute them. "Go, you!" is my mantra.

-If Lulaville has a "brand," it's certainly hard to sum up...is my brand...

*Random musings from this head full of useless information?

*I love Jason Statham more than you?

*Is there a bigger Sci-Fi lover than me?

*How is it even possible that you don't watch Lost?

*Southern belles who have tattoos and wear blue nail polish and hot pink Converse high-tops?

-I have no problem with Lulaville being viewed as a "glorified, electronic scrapbook."* Because...guess what? IT IS!

Got it? Good. Let's move on, shall we?

Two years ago I met the women whom I now consider to be my best friends and confidantes. At the age of thirty-three I found my sister soulmates. Women who, at the risk of sounding utterly and shamelessly cheesy, complete me. Women I've flown across the country to visit. Women with whom I've vacationed. Whose husbands I've met. Whose lives are entwined with mine, as we grow, live, love, laugh, cry, and celebrate the bond of friendship.

I met Heather Blair and Tiffany Romero because of blogging. I knew Heather and Tiffany before they started their wonderful site, The Secret Is In The Sauce, a community which fosters support and friendship amongst women (and a few men!) in the blogging world.

How thankful I am for SITS and the women I've met because of a simple website. Living in a small, very rural mountain town, I'm surrounded by wonderful people who are very much like me: caucasian, married, a parent, and evangelical Christian. Through SITS I have met women who are beautiful and intelligent. I'm honored to know ladies who labor at home as full-time mothers (such as myself), and women who are mothers and employed outside the home.

Because of SITS I have friends who are Evangelical Christian, Jewish, 7th Day Adventist, Mormon, Agnostic, and Atheist.

Because of SITS I have friends of all ages...single gals navigating their twenties, young mothers with new babies, women who have not yet become mothers, ladies who never plan to have children, and grandmothers who blog alongside their daughters.

Because of SITS I am friendly with Democrats. See, we all really can get along!

(I do jest...friendship is bipartisan.)

Because of SITS I am proud to be known as a "mommy blogger."

Rather than refute an article written by a New York Times author, about the recent Bloggy Boot Camp held in Baltimore by Tiffany and Heather, I choose to use this post to declare my love and support for my friends and fellow bloggers. Whether you're part of the "minivan crowd," or a mama blogger such as my friend, Fran, who happens to hold an M.B.A. (and uses this degree to be one excellent mother!), I salute you.

Regardless of whether I know you "in real life," or if we've only "met" via our blogs, I salute you.

To those of you who make a living off your blog...rock on! Have a particular brand, such as the brilliant Kathy, of Mama Kat's Losin' It, or Jill from Scary Mommy? (Two ladies I'm proud to call "friend.") Awesome!

Those of you who could care less about building a "brand" and instead use blogging as a creative outlet to celebrate your life and your loves, I applaud you.

I quote Kathy, in her post where she addressed this same subject, "We're women, and we're amazing, and we don't need a newspaper to validate us."

Precisely.

And to my family, particularly my husband and my daughters, who've supported Lulaville from its inception, I say to you..."Feel free to interrupt me at any moment...because you, my loves, are far more important to me than this blog."

But they already knew that.

*Quote from the article written by Jennifer Mendelsohn, published in the New York Times, March 12, 2010.

A Swift Kick In The Pants

2010-02-24T13:15:00.003-05:00

Sometimes we just need to be cheered on...

Go, you!

And Since We've No Place To Go

2010-02-10T13:15:00.005-05:00

Donning a flirty pair of sandals...

Grabbing a girly bag...

...And hopping a flight to paradise.

These people can stay buried here.

I may or may not return.

And I may or may not send a postcard.

I'll be a water nymph.

The Beginning of The End.

2010-02-02T00:01:00.001-05:00

Today is February 2, 2010.

It is bittersweet for me.

That is all.

Eight Years.

2010-01-31T11:34:00.002-05:00

I loved you before I knew you...

30 weeks in utereo...

Mere hours after our first meeting

I loved you so much it took my breath away...

One day old...

And 8 years later,

You still take my breath away.

Every single day.

"I'm gonna watch you shine

gonna watch you grow

Gonna paint a sign so you'll always know

As long as one and one is two

There could never be a father (and mother!)

who loves his daughter as much as I love you..."

(From Paul Simon's "Father & Daughter")

Happy 8th Birthday, Mary Elizabeth "Libbey" Litton!

Lunchable.

2010-01-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday Libbey asked me (and Sissy, too!) to join her for lunch at school..."They're serving cheesy breadsticks, corn, and salad, Mommy--I don't even want to bring my lunch from home!"

How could I resist such an invitation?

Caroline and I sat at a round table with Libbey and a few of her classmates, enjoying our food, waving to all the children who called out , "Hey Libbey's Mommy!" and chatting with several of the adults also present. (A close family friend, a cousin, and a church member...yes, my child is surrounded by loved ones throughout her day at school.)

While eating, I also heard quite a few boisterous children. Noticed a couple of little girls who seemed rather withdrawn. Saw children cramming their mouths full with food...children whom I'm certain are not fed very well at home.

With ribbons festooning both her hair and blouse, a younger friend of Libbey's made a great effort to wave to me. Sitting next to her was another little girl, wearing sweatpants far too large for her petite frame, a stained, short-sleeved t-shirt, and hair that may or may not have been washed since the dawn of 2010.

I could barely choke down the remains of my meal.

To keep myself from crying, I asked Libbey and her friends about the test they had just taken, on magnets & poles. ("I made a hundred!" each child promised.)

When it came time for Libbey to return to her classroom, she hugged Caroline, hugged me, then walked off. Just as she got to the lunchroom door, she turned back and said, "Love y'all!"

Precious.

I made it to the parking lot before I fell apart. And I did fall apart...into a mess of weepy, blubbery tears.

My child attends school each day in clean clothes, with freshly a washed head and face, as well as freshly scrubbed teeth (after her belly has been filled with breakfast, of course). I pack more than enough food for her lunch each day, and when I pick her up in the afternoon she knows I'll always proclaim, "I love you!" and inquire, "Did you have a good day?"

Libbey is blessed. I remind her of this daily. Just as I remind her that no matter when or where she goes, what she becomes, or how old she grows, I will always love her. I will always take care of her. I will always be there for her.

I am blessed.

Mothers...grandmothers...aunts...godparents...lovers of children...whichever category you fall into...go hug your child today. Because we are all blessed.

And yes, I'm weepy again. When it comes to the love I have for my daughters, I am sappier than an episode of Little House on the Prairie or Dr. Quinn. (Oh, Sully...) I don't apologize for this...not even when I fall apart in the parking lot of the elementary school. It's warranted.

An Early Valentine.

2010-01-18T21:19:00.008-05:00

Dear Love O' Mine,

I'm going public to make an announcement: I take you for granted.

You're one of the biggest parts of my life. Always faithful. Consistently meeting my needs. Ready at a moment's notice, without complaint. By my side every single day. Yet I've failed to give you the respect and admiration you've rightfully earned.

Please forgive me.

I tend to be dramatic when it comes to my ~~obsessions~~ loves. Make no mistake...you are my favorite. I depend upon you, I love you, I do not know what I'd do without you. From henceforth I shall properly appreciate you.

You've earned it, indeed.

Forever grateful for the past 10 years,

Lula

xoxo

It can't be wrong...when it feels so right...

'cause you...you light up my life!

Y'all know I love me some 70's Mellow Gold...
Serenade us, Debby.

Amen.

Do You Realize The Street Value Of This Mountain?

2010-01-12T15:48:00.003-05:00

This is my life. This has been my life for the past 10 days. Seriously.

And if it's not clear...let me reiterate...DONE. OVER. SICK OF IT.

I need Starbucks in my life. Target. A good movie. A meal I didn't have to cook. ANYTHING which gets me out of this house. My sanity is dependent upon it.

Oh yes, global warming in full effect. Riiiiiiiiight. (Thanks, Cara.)

p.s. Name the movie from which I stole this post's title. Lauren, you cannot participate in this one and you know why. Nor can Cara or Heather. But I love y'all...

Better Than The Mullet, I Guess.

2010-01-06T15:10:00.003-05:00

So...

You're starting over!

As what?

*Middle-aged Barbie?

*The "they need a token-blonde" on Jersey Shore?

*The Twilight Saga's Rosalie? (Nikki Reed, I've never loved you more than I do now.)

*A Scandinavian pop star?

*A new girlfriend for Hugh Heffner?

*Vegas showgirl?

*Prospective date for Tiger Woods?

I shouldn't criticize...who am I to judge? After all, it is better than that gross mullet she's been sporting for the past year.

But seriously? New hair is a fresh start for Kate? How's she gonna manage extensions and her eight children?

Please allow me to quote this fine gentleman:

"Lord, I apologize for that right there...

be with the starving pygmies in New Guinea.

Amen!"

Sometimes I Just Don't Get It.

2010-01-03T22:39:00.006-05:00

Almost a billion dollars earned in revenue and people are still going to see this:

Avatar

Really?

No offense, James Cameron, but Scott and I were not impressed with the blue people. Oh yeah, Sam Worthington is rather enjoyable to look at, and the CGI was top-notch. But the storyline? Eh. The liberal propaganda? Eh. The run time of 2 hours and 42 minutes? Eh.

Whatever.

Now here's a movie which deserves to earn a billion dollars:

Up in the Air

But it won't.

Sigh...

There's nothing I didn't love about this film...the screenplay, direction, cinematography, and soundtrack were top-notch. And the acting? Oh. My. Stars. George Clooney--the last of the real deal movie stars, in my opinion*--deserves the Academy Award for his portrayal of Ryan "What's In Your Backpack?" Bingham.

Also, if you thought Anna Kendrick was just some fly-by-night young actress in the Twilight saga...well, you're wrong. Her performance in Up in the Air is simply superb.

I'm a fan of classic black and white films. Remember real movie stars, such as Cary Grant, Grace Kelly, Jeanne Crain, and Jimmy Stewart? Pure class, I tell ya.

Up in the Air employs no gimmicks...no crazy special effects...no shoot 'em up scenes, no tasteless jokes. Oh, and no blue creatures. It's merely good storytelling. And classy performances from a cast that includes honest-to-goodness real life people, as well as talented actors.

Avatar, for me, was mind-numbing. Up in the Air, however, was stimulating...a cinematic breath of fresh air. Honestly, we need more movies like it.

But that's just my opinion.

How long until Lost returns? Just seeing if y'all are paying attention--you know, to what really matters.

Don't wanna leave Denzel out...

he and George are, for me, the last of a dying breed.

The very definition of "movie star."

-----------------------------

We're not going to speak of this.
This.
That happened last night.
Because I realize none of you watch Doctor Who.
But it happened.
The 10th Doctor has regenerated.

I love you David Tennant.
You were a brilliant, perfect Doctor.

But give me a while to get used to this Eleventh stuff.
SOMEONE PLEASE HOLD ME.
I have never cried as much during a TV show.
HOW WILL I EVER MAKE IT THROUGH LOST'S ENDING?

No Expiration Date.

2009-12-29T17:48:00.011-05:00

A few weeks ago Time magazine's cover declared 2000-2009 "The Worst Decade Ever!" Really? Sorry, Time, but this decade was pretty darn special for me. I married my soulmate, became mother to the two most beautiful children on the face of the planet, grew to love my Jesus even more, made wonderful new friends, rekindled old friendships, and nurtured relationships with ladies I've known most of my 35 years.

See? Special. Indeed.

The tunes of these most recent 10 years were pretty hard rockin', as well. There's no way I could list all of my favorite musical offerings of the past 3,650 days...but I will highlight 10* of them. For your listening pleasure. Because I'm cool like that. And because music is my thing, of course.

"Lovestoned/I Think She Knows," by Justin Timberlake

2006

It makes me dance. It's also Tiffany's ringtone. 'Nuff said.

As my husband relates,

"If you say you don't like JT, you're a LIAR!"

Word.

"Set the Fire to the Third Bar," by Snow Patrol & Martha Wainwright

2006

Utterly & completely romantic.

"Your words in my memory, are like music to me..."

"Roslyn," by Bon Iver & St. Vincent

2009

My favorite song of this past year...

...brilliantly written, performed, & produced.

It's ethereal.

"My Party," by Kings of Leon

2007

I've loved these guys for years, long before they were uber famous.

It's just good, real, raw rock & roll. Plain and simple.

"Hysteria," by Muse

2003

From one of my favorite bands comes one of my favorite songs.

It's edgy and glamorous, passionate and pleading...

everything I love in angsty rock!

"I want you now...I want you now...I feel my heart implode..."

"Run, " George Strait

2001

There's a reason this is the ringtone for my husband...

"...straight in a straight line, you can't get here fast enough."

"I Am Trying To Break Your Heart," by Wilco

2002

Sigh...a song that tells a story...and a heartbreaking one, at that.

Genius, Jeff Tweedy. I applaud you.

"Love, Where Is Your Fire," by Brooke Fraser

2008 (the Live at the Aotea version is my favorite)

The sound of my soul...the desire of my heart...the words of this song.

"Till the time when You come and I'm whole and we are one,

and the fire in me is complete..."

"Ghost In This House," by Alison Krauss & Union Station

2002

It's hauntingly beautiful, and I'm certain Alison's voice

is how angels sound.

"Reckoner," by Radiohead

2007

Never before have the tambourine & cymbals made their presence known

so eloquently in a song.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've played this song

over 500 times in the past two years.

"Because we separate...it ripples our reflections..."

"Teenage Dirtbag," by Wheatus

2000

*Yes, this makes song #11. But it's a story song--and, as previously mentioned, I love story songs. Plus this one was released when I was a newlywed and I'd drive around Spartanburg, South Carolina, singing it at the top of my lungs. Oh, the memories. Good times.

Honorable mentions:

--"Bounce," by Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, Dr. Dre, and Missy Elliott

Yes, it's dirrty, but it's my jam of the decade, with the best hook ever.

--"Mad World," by Gary Jules.

His cover of Tears for Fears' original is sublime. Still listen to it almost daily.

--"Sweet Sacrifice," by Evanescence

Because when I grow up, I want to sing like (and look like!) Amy Lee.

"It's true...we're all a little insane..."

"Winter White Hymnal," by Fleet Foxes

They're like the 2nd coming of Simon & Garfunkel. Love this band.

--"Say Please," by Monsters of Folk

My 2nd most favorite song of 2009.

Now I wanna know...what songs/albums/artists have you enjoyed this decade? Please share!

In Which We Keep It Real.

2009-12-15T08:45:00.008-05:00

Receiving mail is the highlight of my day during the month of December. I know, it takes so little to keep me happy. Opening Christmas cards from friends near and far is like opening a tiny present from each family the card represents. 80% of the cards we receive are photos, and if we're super lucky, the card will contain a newsy "our year in review" letter.

I love these letters.

I especially love the letters from Perfect Families.* You know, the ones where we read that Bill received a substantial raise, Mary was named Hottest Housewife in the Tri-County Area, Billy was nominated for the Heisman, and Sally was not only valedictorian, but also prom queen, class president, and 1st runner up to Junior Miss North Carolina. (Hey, can't win 'em all, Sally.)

Every year I ponder sending out a "Litton Family Newsletter 2009" with our Christmas cards. I mean, I'd love to ~~brag~~ share our family's accomplishments:

*Litton Family Medicine was named local business of the year by the Chamber of Commerce, and continues to grow daily.

*Leigh Anne was invited to speak at a blog conference in Las Vegas.

*Libbey made the All-A Honor Roll for the second year in a row.

*Caroline memorized 20 Bible verses this Fall.

SNOOZE!

How boring! And really...who cares?

Maybe this family cares:

Who can attain such cheesy perfection?

Wouldn't it be far more intriguing if, unlike The Perfect Family, our "Litton Family Newsletter 2009" was brutally honest?

How would it be received if I were to mail the real dope deal to our family and friends? You know, stuff such as...

*Our town's beloved pediatrician relocated to another part of Virginia, hence the reason Litton Family Medicine continues to grow. ("Well, if my kid can't see Dr. Ahsan, might as well go to that Dr. Litton, since I don't wanna drive to Kingsport, TN.")

*Leigh Anne was invited to speak at the blog conference because said event was being run by two of her best friends. Nepotism at its finest, y'all!

*Libbey made her first "B" this year--on a Math test. We fully fussed at her, which, in turn, made her cry for an hour. We make "A's" in this family, ya hear? No "B's" shall be tolerated! (Parents of the year. Yep, that's us. She's 7, by the way. We've since asked her forgiveness.)

*Caroline will only say her Bible verses while in Awana. After being bribed with lollipops and juice boxes. And who can blame her? Reciting God's Word is hard work for a 4 year old.

This is real.

Libbey's 1st Christmas, 2002

I'd also love to include even more personal tidbits such as:

*Scott plays way too much Xbox Live with Robbie, our brother-in-law.

*Leigh Anne gained weight, despite having a home gym equipped with an elliptical machine, treadmill, and Bowflex. Apparently one has to use the gym in order to see results. Gotcha.

*Libbey's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder seems to grow stronger with each passing year. Any hope for her to inherit the laidback "Roth genes" is fading fast. She's pure Litton.

*Caroline's strong-willed nature continues to drive our family closer to Jesus. We pray a lot. So that we don't kill her.

And...

*2009 found the Litton family journeying on fun and educational field trips, to places such as Mt. Airy, NC, (where "Mayberry" is brought to life, because The Andy Griffith Show is beloved by Scott and the girls), and Hilton Head Island, SC, where we taught our daughters to appreciate a sunny day and the She-Crab soup at Charley's Crab.

Ahem.

Even more highlights:

*Allowed the television to babysit our daughters while we cleaned (and by "we," I clearly mean Leigh Anne), or napped (Scott).

*Pawned our children off on Nanna & Poppy or "Papaw" Bill & "Memaw" Kim Cress so that we could have regular date nights. A meal, Starbucks, and frequent trips to Target our vital to our marriage.

*Fed our girls a nutritious supper of Honey Nut Cheerios more than once. Or Twice. A month.

*Took naps, drank peanut butter milkshakes, watched Andy Griffith 9342 times, baked cookies, and listened to Lady Gaga, all with our daughters, in the name of Litton Family Togetherness.

*Oh, and we also traveled to Austin and Las Vegas. Without our children. 'Cause it's not all about them.

*GASP!*

I'll say it again...it's not all about our children.

*GASP!*

Christmas 2006...we were all over the picture-taking by this point.

We may not be the perfect family, but we follow a perfect Savior. And, as Linus so succinctly put it, "That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown." Indeed. Now that's the real dope deal.

Merry Christmas from the imperfect Littons!!!

*If you've sent me a "newsletter" this Christmas, please know I am NOT referencing you with this post. The families of which I speak do not read my blog. And if they do...then...rock on! I'm just keeping it real.

Please Caption This Hilariousness...

2009-12-14T08:41:00.003-05:00

This is my niece, Helen, whom I adore. (And who adores me--seriously--I'm one of her faves. Which I'll continue to brag about until she has nothing to do with me.) Helen is 18 months old, and clearly so ahead of her game:

Boys, schmoys...

That's right, baby...

you just keep that attitude until you're 22.

"Don't pay him any attention..."

*Mandy, please let me know whose child this is. His hair is killing me. So is his Adidas. And do we love that Helen is completely nonplussed in his presence? We do. Of course we do.

Hey, Y'all!

2009-12-10T23:25:00.004-05:00

So...
Last Friday was my birthday and without going into detail, trust me when I share with y'all that it was not exactly the finest day of my life. In fact, it sucked. Plain and simple.

Thank God for friends like The Sits Girls, also known as Heather and Tiffany, who come to my rescue with encouraging, loving phone calls, and virtual hugs across the miles that separate us. Oh, and fabulous birthday gifts. Really fabulous gifts.

I'd be lost without these girls. Seriously. They have my heart.

They've given me yet another gift today--I'm being featured over on SITS! To Heather and Tiffany I say, "Thank you--I love you--V4&After!!!" To the rest of y'all, I say..."I'm so sorry I had nothing clever/inspiring/heartwarming/salacious to share with y'all today. Please forgive me, and as Heather is famous for saying, 'love me through it!'"

Oh, and welcome to Lulaville! I get kinda crazy up in here...with my love for Lost, angsty rock, all things Sci-Fi, YA novels, Paula Deen, distinguished British actors, and my boyfriend...Jason Statham.* But stick around for a while and become my new BFF. A girl can never have too many BFFs. Amen!

Tiffany, Lula, and Heather.

In Mexico.

Yes, I said Mexico.

We brought the boys to the yard. Clearly.

(Without the aid of a Miracle Bra, for the record. Cough-cough.)

*Please love him with me.

Hi, Jason.

You can be my birthday present.

Ahem.

Christmas is December 8.

2009-12-07T00:05:00.001-05:00

I'm 35 years old. But right now I feel as if I am 5 years old, as I'm bouncing from one foot to the other...because it's December 8 and I've been anticipating this day for quite some time.

When Scott and I were dating, the fourth movie in the Star Wars franchise was released and we saw The Phantom Menace on opening day. The lights dimmed, the theater became eerily quiet in anticipation...and moments before the film started, some dude ran down the aisle singing, at the top of his lungs, "Star Wars, Star Wars, we've waited a million years for a new Star Wars!" His fellow nerds--me and Scott included--burst into laughter and applause.

I feel exactly the same today. I may or may not be running around the house, singing, "December 8, December 8, I've been waiting so long for December 8!!!"

"Why?" you may be asking. Are you asking? 'Cause...duh, I'm so gonna tell y'all the reason behind my glee...

Speaking of Glee...

The Music of Glee, Volume 2.

It's only my favorite new show of 2009.

Volume 1 is amazing.

Volume 2 releases December 8.

You should really own both.

I saw this with my friend, Lacey, at midnight on July 15, 2009...

I will view it again (and again!) on December 8, 2009,

after it arrives on my doorstep.

Simply brilliant...simply devastating...

simply...adorable...

Harry+Ginny=LOVE

(I still love Snape. I don't care what any of you say.)

My love of angsty rock runs deep.

That's what she said.

My love of this band

runs even deeper.

That's what she said.

We 30 Seconds to Mars fans

have been waiting over 4 years for a new album.

Thank you, Jared Leto & company, for finally delivering.

(In other news, I fully believe Jared Leto is a vampire.*)

Ahem.

No words are necessary.

I love you.

My words are not necessary, but the great Entertainment Weekly

just named Lost as the #5 greatest "item" of the decade:

"Plane crash. Smoke monster. Polar bear. Crazy French lady.

The Others. The hatch. The Dharma Initiative. Time-travel flashes.

Name another network drama that can so wondrously

turn a ? into a !"

Precisely.

Amen.

All this goodness...oh, it's just too to contain. December 8 is a very big deal for me. Clearly.

What are you looking forward to this week? Please share...

*Tell me Jared Leto's not a vampire.

He Makes Me Smile.

2009-11-27T14:37:00.004-05:00

There's nothing I love more than an actor who is extremely grateful to be working.

There's nothing I love more than a performer who is multi-talented.

There's nothing I love more than a man who doesn't take himself seriously.*

There's nothing I love more than an extremely attractive dude.

There's nothing I love more at 9:00 on Wednesday evenings than Glee.

Mark Salling, you will be my complete undoing. I kind of dig you a whole, whole lot.

If you're not watching Glee, you're missing out. This video made me smile...and it also makes me want to be friends with Mark Salling. With this homage he's proven that he is my people.

He is also gorgeous. 'Nuff said.

*He sings, "I pee, poo, text..." Come on, y'all...that's just awesomeness.

Settle Down, People!

2009-11-23T10:35:00.004-05:00

WARNING: If you have NOT seen New Moon, please read no further. If you have viewed the movie, please continue...and please comment accordingly.

For the record, I would like to praise God. Don't ever even hint that He doesn't answer prayer. Truly He does, as the fasting and praying completely paid off.

I loved the movie.

Yes, I'll say it again.

I loved it.

New Moon was fantastic.

From henceforth, the first movie shall be renamed

SUCKLIGHT.

Now, the movie wasn't perfect...I have very small, very minor complaints about stuff that's better thought of as bygones. No big deal, y'all. We'll agree to move on and realize that no book to film adaptation is perfection. Not even my dearly beloved Gone With the Wind.

However, the Twitters and bloggers and general inhabitants of the intrawebs all seem to be dissing one particular scene in New Moon. A scene I happened to really enjoy:

The "frolicking," as it appears to have been named

by Twilight die-hards.

Whatever.

Yes, the wardrobe is cheesy...I admit that. But seriously, people...what part of Breaking Dawn (which this scene references, of course) wasn't cheesy? Esme gifts the couple with a freakin' cottage! Bella hunts in a blue silk dress! And what part of their child's name didn't clue you into this story becoming one huge Swiss Colony fromage fest?* And clearly, Bella & Edward are wearing Valentino's Cottage Collection, available Fall of 2011.

Just love them through it, y'all. Love that we got a teeny taste of Bella Cullen...all golden-eyed (thanks, Jamie!) and sparkly and flushed from delicious vampire lovin'.

Is all I'm saying.

Because I loved it. The expression on her face, in this scene, is nothing short of pure satisfaction. Bella is all but screaming, "Yeah, I tapped that. Deal with it!" Word.

When you really break it down, some woodland "frolicking" is minor when compared to the monstrosity that was Sucklight. I mean, really...

My work here is done. Discuss amongst yourselves, please.

*I am not dissing Breaking Dawn. I loved the final chapter of Bella and Edward's story. I'm not a hater, just a recognizer of ridiculousness. Ridiculousness that I deeply loved. That is all.

The Sound of My Soul.

2009-11-19T00:32:00.003-05:00

One year ago I was fairly obnoxious in sharing my love for a particular series of young adult books written by a thirty-something housewife from Arizona.

One year ago I spent hours reiterating, to naysayers, "It's not a book about vampires. It's not a 'teenage' novel!"

One year ago I wrote many blog posts begging y'all to read what I deemed the greatest love story of our generation.

One year ago I flew to California to view the big screen version of said love story, with two ladies I'd met in early 2008. Women I'd befriended because of our shared love of a particular book, which, at that time, was still rather obscure. We bonded over a sparkly vampire and an ordinary, yet spunky girl. (Heather & Tiffany, I love y'all. Deeply. V4&After.)

One year ago I was proud to to identify myself as a "loud and proud fan" of four books in a Saga too fantastic for words.

What a difference a year makes!

Have you ever had a favorite cosmetic? Let's say...a lip gloss. This particular lip gloss is fan-freakin'-tabulous. It glides on perfectly, shines like the top of the Chrysler building (name that movie!), and never ever traps stray strands of hair on your perfect pout. I mean, this is the lacquer to end all lip lacquers.

So you tell the world about it. "You MUST buy this product--it will change your life and add so much delight to your existence!"

The world heeds your advice and soon this lip gloss enrobes the pucker of every other mouth you see. Fantastic!

Alas...one fine day...some unfortunate gal decides to paint on the gloss with a heavy hand. Oh, woe the sloppiness! Or perhaps you see a well-intended woman wearing frosted pink eyeshadow, along with the gloss to end all glosses.

Frosted. Pink. Eyeshadow.

Your gloss has been ruined. It's intended effect is cheapened. Cheapened like a working gal at a truck stop.

"Hey baby, you lookin' for date?"

This, my friends, is how I feel about the fandom that encompasses The Twilight Saga.

The fiending (a phrase coined by the genius Kristen Stewart in last week's Entertainment Weekly) have taken my beloved love story and frosted it with tacky, sparkly, really offensive pink eyeshadow.

Countless merchandising fails too numerous to mention (I refuse to enter a Hot Topic, on principle alone), a bojillion websites* devoted to the movie and its cast, and seemingly every magazine cover of the past 52 weeks. One cannot escape the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's tale of Bella and Edward.

It's too much. For me. To say I'm over it is putting it mildly.

Cheapened. Heather described it thusly, many months ago. It's truly the best description. And it deeply saddens me.

When sweet Fran inquired earlier in the week, "Are you so excited for New Moon in a few days?" I hung my head. Sighed heavily. And admitted to myself...

"Eh. Whatever."

Will I see New Moon this weekend? Sure! I've heard it's remarkably better than the first film. This makes me happy. Maybe this means all the fasting and praying has paid off. Maybe Chris Weitz reads Lulaville. He is a down dude, after all.

So while the embarrassingly overwrought fandom ("My life is complete because I've been in Robert Pattinson's presence!" Really? Um...OK. No wonder the poor dude is afraid to walk around without 43 bodyguards.) has stolen a bit of my Twilight joy over the past year, I am resolute in my refusal to hand it over completely. Because in the end, my love for this story is remains intact. It's still Edward and Bella. The Edward and Bella I fell in love with almost three years ago. And no one can take that brilliance from me. Even if its shine is slightly murky, I'm able to peer past the fandom flaws and continue to appreciate the love story dreamt by one Stephenie Meyer. I'll even appreciate it for not being well-written literature. 'Cause...uh...it's not.

Yeah. This is hot. I don't care who you are. It is delicious.

Well, if we rid Rob of a bit of that grease paint.

If you see New Moon on the big screen this weekend, please let me know what you thought of it. If you are not seeing New Moon, I won't judge you. Promise!

*Before someone feels as if their Cornflakes have been peed upon...I am not knocking any Twilight-related fansite. I've met some of my most favorite people in the world because of a few, very special websites devoted to The Twilight Saga. Sites run by "normal" people. Ahem.

However...I have, and will continue to judge any website run by grown women who attend "Twi-conventions" dressed in vampire capes. Capes bought at Party City for $9.99.

Handkerchief In Hand...

2009-11-16T14:11:00.002-05:00

I've loved music for all of my almost-35 years. Many songs have moved me to tears, but no song has made the waterworks flow as quickly as this one...

"Poison and Wine," by John Paul White and Joy Williams, also known as The Civil Wars.

Back in the Spring I received a text from sweet Bekah, telling me to run to MySpace, to download The Civil Wars' free, live album...which I did, because 95% of the time I comply when Bekah requests something of me. (That live album is, without a doubt, my favorite musical offering of 2009.)

I sat at my computer, weeping, the instant I heard John Paul sing the opening line...

"You only know what I want you to..."

I have lived the words of this song. No, not with my husband, but in past relationships, both platonic and romantic. This song slays me. It is exquisitely painful. And I wanted to share it with y'all. Please listen...and don't say you haven't been warned. There might be tears. Mine...and yours...

p.s. Thanks, Bekah--again--for the text alerting me that, "The Civil Wars have made a video for Poison & Wine!" You're the kind of enabler I really love. Please visit the taco truck for me this week...and send a pic!

A Mad Dash...

2009-11-12T12:47:00.005-05:00

Last week I shared my love of Zooey Deschanel and my certainty of being her best friend. If we were to ever meet, that is. (And thanks to all of you who mentioned her starring role in The Tin Man. I'm watching it now!)

In this week's installment of "I want to be friends with..." I'd like to introduce you to a man I'm digging in the most diggable manner possible.

We have a lot in common. He is married. He has children. He is originally from Georgia and is a Bulldog fan. That right there seals the deal, folks. Georgian by birth, Bulldog by the grace of God. Ahem.

The only differences I see between myself and this man is...well, he's a dude. And he's Mormon, whereas I'm southern Baptist. But seriously...bygones...he's clearly my people. Why?

Because he's written my new favorite book.

Who is this man? Oh, just James Dashner:

Hi, James!

I read his newly released YA novel last Friday. Yes, in one day. I could not put it down.

The last two books I deemed "unputdownable" were Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games and Catching Fire. So y'all know I'm serious when I beg of you...READ THIS BOOK!

Click here for the book's website.

I read this page turner almost like a screenplay...I literally saw it on the silver screen of my mind. This the best compliment I can give to Mr. Dashner, because his story is so descriptive and detailed. To say I was a captive audience is putting it mildly. I won't even begin to attempt to summarize the story, other than to say it's simply delicious. Delicious along the lines of...Lost. And most of you know how I feel about Lost. (Best show in the history of ever.) Fast-paced, haunting, frightening, inhumane while still being very human, entertaining, and can't-catch-your-breath exciting. This is The Maze Runner.

Yes, I'm certain I need to be friends with Mr. James Dashner. Our kids could play together, my husband would be his family's physician. Surely his wife and I would get along! Then James and I would discuss UGA football ("Let's give Cox another season before we judge him..."), as well as the soundtrack for the movie version of The Maze Runner. Which I will supervise and produce.

Ahem.

Again, I beg y'all...read The Maze Runner. I did not steer you wrong with That One Book That Shall Not Be Named (rhymes with "Highlight."), or The Hunger Games and Catching Fire. I place The Maze Runner right up there with these rock stars in the world of Young Adult Fiction. Seriously.

In My Head I Hear RuPaul Telling Me To "WORK!"

2009-11-05T20:58:00.008-05:00

One night when we were 18, my high school best friend and I were getting ready to go out for the evening. I can't remember what I was wearing, but I thought I was looking pretty dang cute...till she turned to me and remarked, "Leigh...you can't accessorize for crap."

I should've prefaced this by saying that my best friend was/is gorgeous. She was the freakin' homecoming queen! (And eventually my matron of honor.) Lauren (not her real name--and now the Warner Robins peeps are smiling!) probably thought she was doing me a favor, in her own, brusque manner. But that comment has haunted me for almost seventeen years.

I cannot accessorize for crap.

To this day I never feel "put together." Sassy. Decked out. Dressed to the nines. No matter how hard I try, I'm just not cute. And I still hear Lauren's voice in my head, confirming my lack of fashion success.

So when I first laid eyes on sweet Summer at Sitscation last month, I audibly gasped. Summer was wearing the most fabulous white dress and I instantly hated her. "I cannot be friends with someone so chic," I thought to myself. Who can live up to such perfection? Not me.

I love when God proves me wrong. Because not only did I fall in love with Summer and her blog, Le Musings of Moi, I found out she is a kindred spirit. A soul sister, in more ways than one.

Seriously...one day I'm gonna be famous. And Summer is going to be my stylist. And we're gonna travel to France and Atlanta and London and just be the sassiest girls in the world. I'll feel sassy, too--because I will have been styled to perfection by Summer. Sigh...I long for that day.

Until then, I begged Summer to let me pick her brain for nuggets of stylish wisdom. I also asked for pictures of her fabulous self, so that I could share this wisdom with y'all. Because that's how much I love her--and that's how much I love each of you!

Please enjoy Summer, soon-to-be a ridiculously famous stylist. For me. When I'm rich. Ahem. (She's also funny as all get out, to boot!)

Lula: Define your style for me...

Summer: I have somewhat of a feminine style, but always with a bit of edge and funk. Comfort is big for me, too, so I'm not into the trends that don't make me feel comfortable. How 'bout we go with "sweet-n-sassy chic?" I think that has always been my adult style. Not adult as in...you know..."bomp chicka bow wow." Adult as in the age of 18. Just making things clear.

L: Since your style is a mixture--sweet & funky--how do you incorporate bits from each into one cohesive look?

S: I would pair a feminine dress with leather boots. Or leather and lace together. I try to be sure that one thing about my outfit is something that stands out...something sassy! Such as a statement ring, chunky necklace, lots of chains (shout out to Mr. T!), a flower clip for my hair, bold colors, or a dramatic pattern.

L: Do you believe the ability to accessorize is something one either has or does not have? Can it be learned? Please say I can learn this, as I've been haunted by my non-sassiness for 17 years!

S: I definitely think you can learn anything when it comes to fashion! And to anybody who says otherwise...obviously, they know nothing about style! A good way to learn about accessorizing is to pay attention to your favorite shows, magazines, and celebs. And obviously I don't mean Rock of Love, Star Magazine, or Britney Spears! Come on girls, use your judgement! And remember, everyone has their own personal style. Find out what you love and wear it with confidence.

L: What are your favorite, basic wardrobe staples?

S: Boots and white Hanes tank tops! Seriously, I wear boots all year round--I don't care what the fashion police say! And white Hanes tanks go with everything! I wear them under girly dresses if I want to tone them down a bit...under sweaters, under button-ups...even to bed! Must. Have. My. Hanes!

Last thing that is a must in my closet? Tunics. Lots and lots of tunics. I always feel cute in a tunic paired with jeans or pants.

L: What items should every woman own--regardless of age or body type?

S: Anything that makes you feel amazing! Honestly, we all have to have at least one item that just makes us looks and feel fabulous. It could be a pair of jeans that make your bootie look just right. A pair of heels that make your legs longer than life. A necklace that adds flair to everything you own. Or even an incredible handbag that shows off your style, even when you're venturing out in sweats. (I use that last one A LOT!)

L: What are your favorite stores? Favorite place to save? Splurge?

S: For good deals I love thrift stores and Target. But because I like to have stuff that won't be seen on everyone I walk by on the street, I've been shopping less and less at Target--for my sassy pieces, that is.

This may seem crazy, but I hate splurging! To me, especially after thrifting, Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe both seem like quite a splurge! Although...for Mother's Day last year, my husband gave me my first pair of Louboutins. If I ever save my spending money long enough, I could totally see myself splurging on another pair of those. Mmmmmmm, baby...come to Mama!

See why I just love her? And why I want her to take me from frump to fabulous? I also want her legs, but that's another post for another time...

Thanks, Summer--I'm so glad I decided not to hate you. And you know I say that with all the love in my heart.

Oh yes...wanna know the winner of the fantastic clutch and iPod pouch? Sure you do.

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

Timestamp: 2009-11-06 12:04:09 UTC

Number 29 is...SUNSHINE! (Her blog is private, so I can't link her!) Congrats, Sun...I'll get your goodies to you right away!

(My favorite friend, Lauren, has featured stylish friends on her blog...and that's where I got the idea for this post. So thanks, Lauren. I'll never be as sassy as you.)

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

2009-11-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

When I was a child there was nothing more exciting than coming home from a day at school to discover the Sears Wish Book in our mailbox. Oh, happy day! My brother and I would fight to see who'd get to peruse its pages first. And I'd always win because he'd get distracted by He-Man...or maybe it was She-Ra's boobs. Whatever.

I'd curl up on our couch with that coveted Wish Book, a Debbie Cake (as we call "Little Debbie" treats in the south), and an enormous glass of milk, and oooh & ahhhh my joyous way through each flip of its pages.
This entire scenario was pure childhood bliss. I remember it so fondly.

Alas, now I am an adult. And the Sears Wish Book no longer holds sway over me. Because it has been replaced...

I give you The Mother Ship's Holiday 2009 Catalogue!

Mine arrived in yesterday's mail. After putting my girls to bed, I curled up on the couch. Instead of Debbie Cakes and milk, I had a more grown-up snack of Shiraz and a bunch of mini Snickers from the girls' Halloween loot. I'm not ashamed to admit this, either. I'm also not ashamed that I earmarked nearly every other delightful page of this year's holiday offerings.*

Stila and Cargo and NARS, OH MY!

It's pure "grown up" bliss!

And it is, indeed, the most wonderful time of the year. Sing it, Andy!

No one does it better than Mr. Williams. No one. Don't even try it.

*Dear family members who read Lulaville but never comment...you know Sephora gift cards are always appreciated, for both birthday and Christmas. Thank you. Love, Me.

New! Free! Yeah, That Got Your Attention.

2009-11-02T00:01:00.000-05:00

A day rarely passes that I don't say, "I want to be friends with ______________." (Fill in the blank!) There are so many famous--and infamous--folks out there that I'm positive would be all BFF with me, if we were to ever meet. In person, that is.

And then we'd begin our relationship and say things like, "Where have you been all my life?" or "Let's get some Taco Bell before watching the Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman marathon," while giving each other mani/pedis and guiltily flipping through the pages of the Enquirer.

Thusly, I've decided to start a new, regular feature here in Lulaville, called, "I Want To Be Friends With..." Please play along with me, alrighty?

Have you ever seen Almost Famous?

It's only one of my most favorite movies in the history of ever.

And it's the film that introduced me to the fantastically fabulous

Zooey Deschanel.

(Pictured here with Frances McDormand & Patrick Fugit.)

Here's the trailer--please watch. No really, you have to see it. My fave Zooey moment comes at 0:12.

Zooey is my style icon.

Witness this adorableness:

(I lust after those shoes. Mary Jane heels. Perfection!)

This dress slays me, completely.

No one does vintage better than my Zooey:

Why helloooooo there, plaid! Simply gorgeous!

"I want to be friends with Lula..."

Yeah, she's totally thinking that in this shot:

On anyone else this dress would be cheesy.

Zooey makes it fresh, whimsical, and utterly chic.

She's a genius, clearly.

I want Zooey to take me shopping...and school me in her ways.

And if it's not enough that she's an amazing actress and fashionista, Zooey is also an utterly talented musician. She performs with the awesome M. Ward, under the name of "She & Him." Please love this video with me, as it is completely enjoyable.

Do I love that She & Him took a Motown classic (by the great Smokey Robinson & The Miracles) and made it their own? I do. Oh, I really do.

In honor of my inaugural edition of "I Want To Be Friends With..." I am now offering the chance to give one of you something especially delightful.

Check out this gorgeous wristlet & iPod (or cell) holder:

Are these not two fantastic pieces?

These make me feel uber-sassy...like Zooey!*

The inside of the wristlet is the same fabric as the flower--so chic!

Sweet Abby, also known as sister to sweet Bekah, has a new Etsy shop, Sewing Snails. ("Snails" is her nickname, and what I call Abby...because Bekah calls her "Snails.") Check out her offerings...the citrus half-apron is cleverly cute. I'm talking better-than-Anthropologie, y'all. Really & truly!

Want a chance at winning the wristlet and iPod (or cell) pouch? If you live in the US or Canada, simply leave a comment and tell me whom you'd want to be friends with. Other than me, that is. Comments will be closed at 11:59 pm(Eastern time) on Thursday, November 5.

*No celebrity endorsement intended or implied.

Anything Can Happen On Halloween...

2009-10-28T08:12:00.006-04:00

If you've read Lulaville for any amount of time, you know that my most favorite actor in the history of the world is Tim Curry. If you're new to my world of randomness, I'll restate my love:

I adore him.

My very favorite Halloween movie features quite a performance by Mr. Tim Curry...and it's not the role you're thinking of:

Dr. Franknfurter, how I love thee!

Please don't misunderstand--I am crazy over Rocky Horror Picture Show. I own the DVD as well as the CD soundtrack of the movie. I don't get people who don't get RHPS. It's as simple as that. Sorry if I've offended you, but I gotta stay true to myself here. After all, it is my blog.

But that's not what I want to discuss.

My favorite Halloween flick is a little-known gem from the mid-1980's, called The Worst Witch, starring a young Fairuza Balk, Charlotte Rae (of TV's The Facts of Life), Diana Rigg, and yes...my beloved Tim Curry.

I describe it as "little known," because nearly every time I mention it--which is always during the Halloween season--invariably the person I'm speaking with will reply, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

TRAVESTY! Utter travesty, y'all!

My brother and I watched The Worst Witch on HBO throughout the 80's, and then on the Disney channel in the early 90's. When it became available on DVD about 10 years ago, we snatched it up as if the DVD case had diamonds embedded in its spine.

This little gem of a movie has terrible special effects, and the acting is not exactly the finest in the world. (Apologizes to the always amazing Diana Rigg, who saves the movie with her subtle yet campy portrayal of Miss Hardbroom.) In fact, the one word I'd use to describe The Worst Witch is cheesy. But it's adorably cheesy. And I love it.

Today, If you have not yet dropped any LSD and need to take an acidic trip, may I present to you now...Tim Curry as The Grand Wizard in the best little movie ever, The Worst Witch:

I've always thought that this musical number embodied what it must have felt like to have been at Woodstock.

Seriously.

Have you seen The Worst Witch? If so, please share your glee with me. If not, please do us both a favor and rent it! Or, share your favorite Halloween film with me. It won't be as cheese-tastic as a movie about a school for young witches, but I'll take your recommendations into consideration.

Tickled Pink.

2009-10-26T00:04:00.001-04:00

My Sweet Caroline,

Tomorrow (October 27th) you'll turn 4 years old. I love that you share your birthday with your Great Aunt Mitzi, even if you never did get to meet her. I love that you were born in October, because it's my second most favorite month of the entire year. And I love that you're a little girl...because, like your Mommy, you love pink. And, like your mommy, you're obsessed with breasts.

Yes...breasts. We are not afraid of that word in this family.

We both appreciate a good pair of boobs. And we're not afraid to admit it! For the first year of your life, you really appreciated my set...because that's where you found nutrition, warmth, and comfort.

October is not only your birth month, it is also National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It deeply saddens me that breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women, aside from non-melanoma skin cancer.

I hate cancer. And I hate breast cancer the most of all. Imagine our precious boobs being attacked by the most hateful disease in the world. It really, really stinks.

My prayer is that a cure for all forms of cancer is just a mere breath away. Until that day, know that I'll do my best to educate you and your big sister, so that we'll maintain proper breast health. We gals have to stick together...our breasts are far too important to us. Our lives are far too important to us.

Cancer can suck it. Yeah, Mommy said, "Suck it!"

Happy birthday, my Sweet Caroline. I pray that by your 14th or 24th birthday, breast cancer--and all forms of cancer--will be a thing of the past. October can be National No More Cancer Month. Oh, we'll still wear our pink ribbons...but they'll be on our frilly, fancy brassieres. We've earned such luxury!

I love you,

Mommy

xoxo

Hopelessly Devoted To You, Vegas Style!

2009-10-21T20:48:00.006-04:00

I'm such an attentive person. When I'm with my friends, I'm completely focused on being in the moment with them.

I took my 100% in-the-moment self to Las Vegas last week, to celebrate SITScation, a gathering of women bloggers who've all been united by The Secret Is In The Sauce. SITS was founded by my two BFFs, Heather & Tiffany, as a way to unite women (and a few men!) by increasing their blog traffic, encouraging comments, and providing tons of new sites for the SITStas to read.

Having been a SITSta for the past year and a half, I was so excited to finally have the chance to meet ladies I have "known" for most of my entire blogging career. I mean, meet them in person. That's a Very Big Deal, ya know? I was determined to devote myself to spending hours in conversation with these ladies I've "known," yet have never met "in real life."

So Scott and I headed off to Vegas. Where I met..."Lolli" from Better In Bulk and Laurie from Tip Junkie, two of the most lovely women in the world.

Oh, look...there's me--in the background--with the famous blog designer,

Julie, from LeeLou Blogs!

Look at how I'm utterly devoted to conversing with

sweet, precious Julie. (Whom I really, truly adore!)

I didn't take this picture of Michael & Katrina...

but so many of us prayed for Michael during his brain surgery back in the winter...

...so I'm happy to have this picture of my "in real life" friend & her healthy husband!

Yes, this is the famous "Kat" from Sunshine & Lemonade!

I was all, "Dude--I see you all the time!"

Therefore, I didn't find it necessary to hang with her 24/7 while in Vegas..

See my devotion?

(Kat, you love me...right?)

I also did not take this picture...

...of my too-fabulous-for-words heels.

Which were comfortable, but not on the dance floor!

Not only am I devoted to my pals, I clearly take great care of my camera.

It never left my side for one moment.

More like...um...120 moments!

What better way to celebrate your birthday than in Las Vegas!

Shannon of Welcome to the Nuthouse, wore her birthday crown rather regally.

She's yet another "in real life" friend, whom I talk to regularly...

...so I was all, "Love you...here, take my camera!"

Actually, I didn't tell her to take my camera. She (and others!) just did.

'Cause that's how we roll.

Oh, but that gal throwing up the peace sign?

MY STARS! It's ELENA, from Manwaring Moments!

Can I tell you how excited I was to finally meet Elena in person?

And how thrilled I was to sit in her presence...for all of half an hour.

Sigh...our time together was too brief.

She had no qualms about capturing precious memories with my camera.

The one I left behind. Because I'm so attentive. Ahem.

And here we have Francesca, of Mayhem & Moxie,

and Kathy, of Mama's Losin' It.

Yes, both are very famous girls, with whom I was honored

to speak with on the SITS panel during Saturday's sessions.

These are two of my favorite people in the world.

Look at them posing...smiling for the SITStas...

And then there's me...good ol' Lula...

rummaging through my purse.

While sitting in front of a room full of people.

Yep...hopelessly devoted to the task at hand. No doubt.

Truly, my devotion during SITScation was never more evident than

when my beloved Angie, of Seven Clown Circus,

was pouring her heart out during our panel discussion.

Angie--she of gorgeous hair, face, body, et. al--even posted

on how I sat in rapt attention, hanging on her every word.

(Please ignore the fact that I have 19 chins in this picture.)

"But I was Twittering!" I wailed to Angie.

"Um...yeah...your phone is sitting in front of you!' she countered.

Dang.

But then I realied...

I WAS PRAYING!

Yes, there I am...in front of 100 women...praying my little heart out...

"Dear God, please bless my sweet friend, Angie...and help me

to not covet her most beautiful red hair!"

The SITS Panel.

Also known as, "Dude, I am so not qualified to be at this table!"

This is where I started singing

that Sesame Street classic...

"One of these things does not belong here,

one of these things is not the same..."

Yeah...uh-huh...

And I still have my hands in my purse.

Francesca, Tiffany, Kathy, Me, Angie, and Heather

What saddens me more than anything is that

I didn't get a single picture of me, Tiffany, and Heather together...

...the entire weekend. (Thank God we had our cruise vacay last month!)

Because obviously, I was too busy being devoted to

everyone else attending SITScation.

Clearly.

Honestly.

Completely.

All while praying...without ceasing.

Oh, but you're welcome, girls...

My Phone Went to Sin City.

2009-10-19T21:57:00.006-04:00

We've just returned from five days in Las Vegas! I know y'all want to hear about Sitscation '09, and I have so much to tell (it was amazing!).

Before I fill you in on all the delicious dirt regarding some of your favorite bloggy peeps, please allow me to share a few of the pictures I captured with my BlackBerry while in Vegas. Because honestly, I take photos of the most random stuff in the world. Even in Vegas. Ask Bekah...she'll confirm. (But she won't tell about all the secret pics we send to each other. Will you, Bek?)

Me: Honey, pose by that Roman statue.

Scott: Uh...seriously?

Me: Yes! You are hotter than a Roman statue!

Scott: HARDER?

Me: You perv, I said "hotter."

Scott: But "harder" is applicable, too.

I love him. And his Caesar-esque hair did.

Thank you, delicious crab of the sea,

who died to provide this fantastic meal for me.

And thank you, Joe's Stone Crab, for preparing said dead crab for me.

It was a foodgasm. The end.

Here's a transcript of the text that accompanied this picture:

Me: LAUREN! Look! I gasped! Audibly!

Lauren: That was designed for me, clearly.

(Because yes, I photograph lingerie in Macy's, so my friends can

share in the glee of a perfect find. That is not at all creepy.)

Heather gifted me with this hat.

It is the best hat in the history of the world,

and I defy you to try and prove otherwise.

Best. Hat. Ever.

Not only does our other BFF, Tiffany, have this chapeau (with a magenta fleur-di-lis),

Lafayette was also wearing one in the season 2 finale of True Blood.

BRILLIANT!

Is all I can say. And thanks, Heather. I love you!

Nope.

Gambling doesn't pay.

Not when The Venetian gives you $25 with which to play.

Not when you hit $111.85 on the penny slots.

Don't gamble, kids. Nothing good can come of it.

Ahem.

The Bloody Mary...the perfect breakfast drink.

Look at all those veggies...vitamins...minerals...

...it's the meal of champions.

I'm a champion. Obviously.

Sigh...

more Twilight-related lameness...

"Get Bitten...Be Transformed."

Gee, DuWop...

I really don't want to look like a pasty-faced crackwhore.

But thanks for another marketing ploy to further cheapen a beautiful love story.

Yeah Summit, I'm looking at YOU!

If you are ever in Las Vegas & begin to jones for good Mexican,

get thyself to Dos Caminos in The Palazzo.

And then get the grilled shrimp quesadilla.

Oh, hey there! Best food of my life.

What...like y'all don't take pics of your food?

Nikki & I do it all the time.

Pretty soon we'll have a coffee table book, titled,

Delicious Finds for the Food Connoisseur

Or, more simply put,

Our Meals. We Rule.

(On bookshelves, Summer 2010.)

More Vegas adventures to come...right now I have to watch Gossip Girl. Y'all know how I feel about my Mother Chucker.

He would own Vegas. Swoon!

Arithmetic.

2009-10-12T20:32:00.003-04:00

"I've been thinking of changing my mind...it never stays the same for long..."

Last week I took a break. It started off as unintended. Sunday passed and I realized I hadn't been on the internet...not one time. No Twitter. No blogs. No recaps of Gossip Girl, The Vampire Diaries, Glee, Mad Men, Dollhouse, or FlashForward. I didn't "window shop" at Forever 21 or Bloomingdale's, nor did I "for real" shop online for Christmas gifts. No perusing of my favorite music websites. No absorbing current events. (And by current events, I mean the world of Entertainment Weekly, E! online, and People.)

Afternoon rolled around last Monday and I'd still not spent any time on Elliott. (That's my beloved Macbook Pro's name, for the uninitiated.)

Wow! I actually can survive without the internet for a couple of days.

This spurred me on. I decided to forgo the intrawebs for a solid week.

With the exception of Starfall.com (Caroline loves working on her letters & I refuse to take that away from her!) and Lauren's Vampire Diaries recap last Friday. (She quoted me in her post--I had to read it! If you're a fan of the show, you must read Lauren's analysis of each episode--you'll pee yourself with laughter. I kid you not.)

"But of all the things I know for sure...You're the only certain one..."

Tuesday morning I spent my "free" hours painting with Caroline. I called my aunt in Mississippi for a nice chat. We--Caroline and I--dusted lampshades, baseboards, and bookshelves. When it was her nap time, I cleaned out closets. Organized closets. Stored away Libbey's too-little clothing, which Caroline will wear in a couple of years. And I de-limed our faucets.

Seriously. Lime-Away is a powerful cleaning product.

Tuesday afternoon found us decorating picture frames and eating pizza with Libbey's two best friends, who came home with us after school. It was good times.

On Wednesday Caroline and I had a dance party in the living room. Libbey and I played tackle tickle. The three of us watched The Great Pumpkin (we love Linus!).

During Thursday's nap time, I cleaned my kitchen and bathroom, all while having the best chat with Heather K. If you've never cleaned while chatting with one of your best girlfriends, then you're truly missing out. It makes cleaning fun. Kind of!

By Friday, my week of no internet, specifically Twitter, was enjoyable.

Yes, I said that.

And yes, I missed my Twitter buddies, and reading the blogs of all my favorite people. But honestly, I'd spent so much quality time with my children, and my house was pretty cleaned and organized. Hallelujah! I felt so accomplished. That's a really good feeling, too.

More than anything, though, my evenings were free. I'm not on the internet during the day nearly as much as I am after the girls go to bed. That's "me time." My "free time." Because my mothering duties are put on hold for a good 11 hours or so.

"See, I'd apologize my way to You...if the heavens stretched that far..."

But what about my "wife time?" Scott is neglected in the evenings, I'll admit it. He does his thing on his computer or on Xbox Live, while I spend hours Twitting or blogging away. It's never been an issue...until we both realized we'd been really missing out on our evening hours of being husband and wife. Oh sure, we take regular date nights. But that's just once a week.

Sans internet, though, we talked. I mean, we really talked. We watched the Generation Kill miniseries. We cuddled. We had a lot of...ahem...fun...cough-cough.

"Cause if I add, if I subtract, if I give it all, try to take some back...

I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact...that You are the sum..."

Finally, and most importantly, I spent last week thinking of things that are true...honest...just...pure...and lovely. (Philippians 4:8) I had many talks with God. I also listened a lot. And for this, I am a better wife, mother, daughter, and friend.

My internet break was just what I needed. Little things added up to one big sum, and I knew I needed to recalculate some priorities in my life.

It's been over a week now and I feel better. I am better. And I'm happy to be back.

"When the years are showing on my face and my strongest days are gone,

when my heart and flesh depart this place, from a life that's sung Your song...

You'll still be the one I want..."

(Quotes from Brooke Fraser's "Arithmetic.")

****************************

They clean up pretty nicely, huh?

Just a little bit of...

2009-10-06T00:30:00.000-04:00

...Tuesday inspiration...

"We may not be able to accomplish everything we can dream,

but we will not accomplish anything without our dreams."

--Erwin Raphael McManus

Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night

Fixated On My Fetish.

2009-10-01T08:14:00.008-04:00

It's that time of year again...
...when my eyes turn toward the most sensual of fruits:
Yeah, I said "sensual." Pumpkins are sensuous! I find great delight in the partaking of pumpkin. Especially when it has been enhanced with cinnamon. Or whipped cream. Yum.

And really, it's my fetish. I'm kind of obsessed with the warmly-hued orb. It speaks of Autumn, cooler weather, holidays, and childhood memories.

Sally & Linus...'nuff said!

'Round here, we enjoy every aspect of the pumpkin. Especially the seeds! I've only toasted pumpkin seeds every other day for the past 2 weeks. A little butter, worcestershire sauce, garlic & onion powder, and about 7 minutes in a 375 degree oven=savory goodness!

Every fall I break out the pumpkin-scented cleansing agents. Because they make me happy.

This year, I'm thrilled to report that my lips will receive the same luscious treatment as my body...there is no such thing as pumpkin overload. Ever.

I rejoice when Starbucks resumes the creation of my most favorite latte in the wide world. My first pumpkin spice this season was in the Charlotte airport last month. I audibly gasped when I saw the sign: "IT'S BACK!" I ordered mine (grande) and sat down to read more of Suzanne Collins' Catching Fire. Truly, it was one of the highlights of 2009 for me, thus far.

I have a recipe for homemade pumpkin pancakes...but flapjacks are for Saturday mornings, and I'm lazy on Saturday mornings. It's an American birthright to be lazy on the weekend. Thank you, Stonewall Kitchen, for making this fantastic mix available. I just add lots of cinnamon (always!) to my batter, and top the finished product with whipped cream. It's an ambrosial experience.

Currently being used in my home right now, and worth every single penny. This candle enhances my mood, which benefits our entire family and ups our happiness factor exponentially. Therefore...worth every single penny.

Fall is my most favorite season, due in part to my beloved pumpkin. It makes me so, so happy. Have you ever had pumpkin crisp for breakfast? Oh. My. Stars. Divine! Please do yourself a favor and make the pumpkin crisp already!

Kleenex & Kenny Loggins.

2009-09-29T00:02:00.002-04:00

Don't ever sort your child's clothing while listening to Return to Pooh Corner or More Songs from Pooh Corner.

Particularly the latter CD. Because when Kenny Loggins begins his interpretation of "Turn Around," and you're folding clothes now too small for your precious darling, let's face it...you're done. D-O-N-E.

Even though these clothes need to be stored away for little sister to wear in a couple of years. Even though that precious plaid skirt no longer fits, but you remember how her little legs looked peeking out from under it, dangling in the backseat of the car. Even though you can't bear to put away her special Christmas dress, with the smocked & embroidered manger scene, complete with Baby Jesus in the very center...

Yes. You are completely done. The moment Kenny warbles, "Turn around and you're two, turn around and you're four, turn around and you're a young wife...going out of the door..."

Sob!

No matter that she's informed you, "Gymboree clothes are for little girls, so I can't wear their stuff anymore!" No matter that she now prefers to wear black Chuck Taylors with a sequined shirt. (And her ginormous, monogrammed Vera Bradley messenger bag, of course.)

Because it seems like 5 minutes ago--rather than 5 years--she was thrilled to be wearing this "big girl puh-kin dress!"

Just reach for the box of Kleenex, my friend. 'Cause You. Are. Finished.

Sage advice that I'll remind myself to heed the next time I'm sorting clothes to be stored. I cried for a good hour. I then remembered this:

And proceeded to cry the rest of the afternoon.

I defy you to watch this commercial* without tearing up. You have no soul if the tears don't well. Yeah, I said that.

*One of my favorite songs ever is Yaz's "Only You." Joshua Radin remade it--and his version is used in this commercial. It's gorgeous. Go to iTunes & download his Live Session redo of "Only You." In fact, download some of Joshua Radin's other music, too--I dig him a lot. You can thank me later...

Dear Hating Commenter, "RK,"

2009-09-24T16:45:00.010-04:00

OMS! (That's "Oh My Stars!" as abbreviated by the fabulous Heather.) You are my very first hater! Well, probably not the very first, but the first person who was brave enough to comment in a spiteful manner.

Wait, I said "brave." Actually you're not very brave, because you hid your comment behind the initials "RK." If you're going to hate, please have the gumption to back up your words with your true identity. Here's what you said...

I have always enjoyed reading your blog! Cracks me up...but today not so much.

You put down the place where I was raised. Your husband is a doctor here and that is where you get the money you spent on the 18 acres and the house you live in. You talked about oxy, meth drugs etc, but you failed to mention the friendly people in this town, the close knit community that we have, and friends that have been friends forever. If you don't like it here leave, but if you are going to enjoy the money you make off of us poor country folk then please don't criticize!...especially since you love Jesus so much!

I appreciate you hanging out in Lulaville, and I'm sorry yesterday's post angered you. Normally I would not respond to such vitriol, however you mentioned my husband and his profession in your biting remarks, and I find myself unable to keep quiet. So here I go...

Do not mess with my husband. Do not make salacious remarks about his chosen career...the one he earned through 12 years of extreme hard work and a lot of sacrifice. It is reprehensible to comment, "Your husband is a doctor here and that is where you get the money you spent on the 18 acres and the house you live in..." and "If you are going to enjoy the money you make off us poor country folk, then please don't criticize..."

Really? Are you kidding me? No, seriously. Are you kidding? Because that is probably the most vile assessment anyone has ever made regarding myself or my husband.

Please do not speak out of turn. Please do not contend that my husband's job is what paid for our house and the land upon which it sits. (I could be an heiress. Maybe that is how we paid for our 18 acres. In cash. Or not. Frankly, it is no one's business.) Please do not insinuate that my husband spends his days making money off "poor country folk." And most of all, please don't toss in a casual reference to Jesus...especially one that's written as an aside.

Jesus is never an aside to me, or to my husband. And yes, I do love Him "so much." I've staked my eternal security on Him.

I will also defend my husband's integrity, as a spouse, father, and businessman. His work ethic is impeccable, and he genuinely cares for his patients in a manner not often seen in the modern medical community.

For the record, and not because I am preserving myself, but rather defending this precious little mountain town where we reside...let me state a few points, please:

*I adore Pennington Gap, Virginia.

(I do believe I mentioned Stoneface and an esteemed author in my post--did you not catch those two points?)

*I praise God that my girls are being raised in the town where their father grew up.

*I praise God that my children are surrounded by so many family members--grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends.

(The annual Litton/Turner cookout, August 2006. Yes, three-fourths of these people

are our family members...on just Scott's father's side!)

*I love that upon entering the door of her school, my 7 year old is greeted with a hug from her principal (who happens to be a distant cousin), or a hug from her P.E. teacher (who also happens to be a cousin).

Libbey & her principal (and cousin!), Lisa Wynn Stewart

*I love that I cannot walk into Food City without seeing someone I know, or having a 10-minute conversation with someone I haven't seen in a while. I do my best visiting in Food City!

*I love seeing Mr. Herschel's smiling face, greeting me each time I enter the doors of Walmart.

*I love buying fatback for my soup beans at Deb's Market, because the ladies employed there are so friendly and helpful.

*I enjoy reading the Powell Valley News each Wednesday and Friday. Yes, our precious newspaper is published only twice a week, and I. Love. It.

*I love going to Lee High football games on Friday nights and supporting our local players, cheerleaders, band members, ROTC, and the general student body. Go Generals! (Does my husband get paid to stand on the sidelines as the team's doctor? Of course not. He does it because he loves it.)

*I adore our public library, where both of my daughters have grown to love learning, reading, music, crafts, and yes, even snacktime. We love you, Mrs. Sherry!

"Ms. Sherry" Myers & Caroline, December 2008.

*I am thankful for my local "beauty parlor," the awesomely named Modernette. I'm so glad my sweet friend, Kim Woodard, is capable of giving me a good, sassy 'do. I refuse to drive to Kingsport or Johnson City for a fabulous haircut & eyebrow waxing. Good thing I don't have to!

*I love walking through the doors of Litton Family Medicine, and seeing the extended members of our family. Not just "staff" to us, these ladies are the heart of Scott's medical practice and we love each of them. I'm thankful he has the finest nurses & office support system in the county! This practice is the fruition of Scott's lifelong dream...to provide the highest quality of care to the people of this town, regardless of race, bloodline, or social status.

Scott with some of the LFM gang--Linda, Rita, and Kelley--at last year's

Pumpkins in the Park festival,October 31, 2008.

In my post yesterday I did make a joke at the expense of our little town. We have a very serious drug problem in this county, and that deeply saddens me. It's also irresponsible to turn a blind eye to said drug and crime problem, and pretend Lee County is one big happy community, free from predicaments commonly associated with large/inner cities.

At least I didn't mention the "working ladies" who stand outside of the IGA. Ahem.

But let me also assure you...I do love living here, and I am not leaving. I'll also continue to poke gentle fun at the multifaceted idiosyncracies of life in these mountains. Because really...living in Pennington Gap, Virginia, means one must have some measure of a sense of humor. It's the quirky traits indicative of small town living that I wholly embrace and love best.

Pennington may not be my hometown...but it is my home. And I'll love it, mock it, defend it, joke about it, and cherish it...to the best of my ability. Till the end of my days.

Signed,

Leigh Anne

p.s. I feel the same about my little brother. I can talk smack about Eric, but none of you people better say a single word. Not. One. Word. Just so you know...

She Gets Around.

2009-09-24T00:01:00.000-04:00

Introducing...MOXIE MONA!

I'm so proud to be a part of Moxie Media, a new network of women bloggers who are taking the internet by storm. Our "mascot," Moxie Mona, has been traveling around the United States this week, visiting the homes of a bevy of fabulous bloggers. I was honored to host Miss Moxie Mona in my little neck of the woods.

Until Francesca, one of our fearless Moxie Media leaders, informed me of the purpose for Mona's visit...

Francesca: Just write about where you live and showcase yourself with Mona. Tell about your corner of the world!

Me: First of all, when I hear the word "showcase," I picture myself on stage in Las Vegas, in an elaborate burlesque review, wearing fiery-colored plumes, rhinestones, and about 16 pounds of facial & body cosmetics. And then I get lost in memories of a better time...when Liberace was still tinkling the ivories and I was all trim and fit...and...sigh. Great, now I'm all depressed and stuff.

Francesca: (Dead Silence.)

Me: Plus, if I write about where I live, it will include references to meth labs, tobacco fields, Oxycontin being sold on street corners, and fields full of cow patties. And really...unless we're watching National Geographic or Chris Hansen's "To Catch a Predator" on NBC, who truly wants to know about my crack corner of the world? Even though it is beautiful here...in the mountains...

Francesca: (Even more dead silence.)

Me: Oh, all right! Yeesh...I'll come up with something...

Here's my something. Please enjoy Mona's adventures in Southwest Virginia!

We live on almost 18 acres of land.

What do we do with these acres?

We grow hay.

No, I'm not kidding.

Mona hitched a ride on a tractor,

on the day the freshly cut grass was

placed into neat little rows...all for the baling process.

Yee-haw, Mona!

(She's a country gal at heart...all she needs is a pair of overalls!)

Aw, Mona...

Look at you celebrating with those fine Georgia athletes,

follwing a Bulldog touchdown!

Mona knows. Mona gets it.

And by "it," I mean the most wonderful time of the year...

College football, baby!

I even taught Mona the proper response one gives when the Bulldogs kickoff...

"Gooooooooooo Dawgs...sic 'em...woof-woof-woof-woof-woof!"

Amen.

Mona took a trip to our little public library...

...it's where all the good gossip goes down,

and where we showcase famous authors from our mountain region.

Yes, that's Adriana Trigiani, author of the soon-to-be-made-into-a-movie,

Big Stone Gap.

Big Stone is Ms. Trigiani's hometown...and is just right up

the road from Pennington Gap, my town!

Yes, "Gaps" are a big deal 'round here.

Mona & I are going to read Big Cherry Holler...

...since we have all manner of Hollers 'round these parts.

LOOK! Mona took a cruise to Mexico!

Miss Mona assured me of her virtue,

having politely declined the Towel Duck's advances.

Oh, Mona...you little lady. I'm so proud.

Finally, we come to the heart of Pennington Gap, Virginia...

...our most famous landmark...

the Stoneface,

recreated here by some artist.

I apologize, artist, for not crediting you properly.

The Stoneface is a Very Big Deal.

God put that face on that mountain for a reason.

It is our duty, as residents of this fine little mountain town,

to proudly share this bit of greatness with the world.

And with Mona...who is, very obviously, impressed.

I had more pictures of Mona's Southwest Virginian adventure, however a suspicious-looking male superhero has just interrupted my posting efforts to announce that Moxie Mona rocks the red boots way better than that fashion doll whose name rhymes with "Darby."

Good times.

Thanks for visiting, Mona! And thanks for being such a good sport. Now let's go eat some pumpkin crisp, and discuss whether we're going to see Jennifer's Body or Fame this weekend.

***Thanks to these fine ladies for making Mona's Lulaville visit possible***

Remember That Time We Remembered That Time?

2009-09-20T17:11:00.009-04:00

This is a tale...

a tale of 3 girls...Lula, Heather, and Tiffany...

and that time they were together. In Ecstasy. Or rather, on Ecstasy.

OK, come on...we didn't shoot a porno, or take drugs...

Of course our cruise ship was named the Ecstasy.

Of course our cruise trip advisor was named Vixen.

I do not make this stuff up, y'all.

But wasn't it all so appropriate?

Indeed.

And here we see Camp Ecstasy...

...also known as our room.

Wait! Let me get it right...

Our Suite. Yeah, we had a suite.

On the Verandah deck.

Word to your mother.

While on our getaway,

did we spend our days in a druken haze,

our nights in brazen debauchery?

PUH-lease!

We read.

And read some more.

On our balcony.

In our beds.

On the Sun deck, overlooking the beautiful blue water.

But mostly on the balcony.

Isn't Tiffany so cute here?

(We love us some Jace. Read the Mortal Instruments series, y'all.)

And then there was this one time...

...we went to Cozumel.

Not to shop. Not to sight-see. Not to eat.

Nope.

We went to a beach resort...

where we barely left the warm waters of Mexico.

And YES...the water is that blue.

(And where a fellow named Samuel kept us supplied in cold beverages.)

It was pretty much ecstasy.

Did I mention we read a lot?

Just a sampling of the books devoured while on our trip...90% of them were Young Adult.

Because these days, it's the best stuff out there.

Yes, we all read Suzanne Collins' Catching Fire.

(The 2nd book in The Hunger Games series.)

And we all agreed...

Best. Book. Ever.

The three of us will fight anyone who says otherwise.

I could regale you with stories of frequent naps, lavish meals in the ship's dining room, the hilarity of the precious Filipino dude who hosted karaoke, our wild night in the dance club, all the times we laughed so hard that we cried, or reveal the dark side of swimming in the Mexican waters. (Hint: it may or may not have something to do with drunk Florida Gator--ew!--fans who took off their swim trunks and mooned us repeatedly. Yeah. And...gross!)

But I won't brag.

Instead, I'll share with you the souvenir I picked up in Mexico...

I got a boob job.

JUST KIDDING!

But don't we look super cute?

And by "we," I clearly mean our faces.

Ahem.

Tiff and Heather, it was the vacation of a lifetime...and I can't wait to do it again and again and again. V4 & After. Amen.

p.s. Tiffany...remember that time Heather and I were on the balcony and we saw a whale? Judy the whale, no less! Love it...

They Love Me. Seriously.

2009-09-09T00:02:00.000-04:00

Dear Darling Daughters,

Tonight, as the three of us sat in the darkened living room, watching your beloved Andy Griffith Show, I felt a moment of such sheer perfection that I did not want the experience to pass.

Maybe it was because the two of you were butt-nekkid, as we say here in the South. (I can't even remember why y'all had stripped to your birthday suits!) Or could it be that I was feeling a tinge of guilt because I know that I'll be leaving the two of you for the next few days?

I don't like leaving you. But I need to spend some time with my sisters.

See, the two of you have each other. You are each other's best friend. As sisters you are constant playmates...sparring partners...cuddle bunnies. Rarely a day passes that you girls don't spend hours together. Oh, my sweet girls...you are blessed.

Mommy does not have sisters. Not blood sisters, at least. Mommy's "sisters" live thousands of miles away, in Arizona and California. And I haven't seen them since last November. When we were constant playmates...sparring partners...and yes, cuddle bunnies, if but for a few days.

So I'm going to be gone for a few days and enjoy some grown-up time with these two "sisters" of mine. While I'll miss you both every second that I'm away, I rest comfortably in the knowledge that you won't have time to fret over my absence. 'Cause staying with "Memaw Kim and Papaw Bill," and a weekend in Richmond with your father, Nanna, Poppy, aunt, uncle, and cousins, will make it all worthwhile.

Plus, Aunt Mandy is taking you to Kings Dominion on Saturday. Aunt Mandy rocks, of course.

Yes, I'll bring back souvenirs from Mexico. That's all y'all really care about, right?

I'll miss y'all desperately...please do me a favor and try to think of me at least once or twice while I'm gone.

Love,

Mommy

p.s. Bloggy sisters (and brothers--hey Greg and Tony!)--full vacation report, with pictures, next week. I promise. I'm also looking forward to catching up with all of you...yes, I've missed making my blog rounds over the past few days. How are y'all?

You May Be a Tiger, But Your Mama is a DAWG!

2009-09-07T00:01:00.001-04:00

Once again it's that time of year. It's the season of me losing my shiz every Saturday afternoon or evening...pacing, screaming, shouting, praying loudly, clapping, hurling insults, offering praise, and generally acting like a total idiot. All in the name of college football. More specifically, all in the name of my beloved Georgia Bulldogs.

Yes, I own these earrings. My Mama gave 'em to me for Christmas. Don't judge.

My brother, Eric, and I have been lifelong Bulldog fans. Even our parents, who graduated as Bulldogs--albeit Mississippi State University Bulldogs--root for the Georgia team, because they have a clue, clearly. Eric and I are Georgian by birth, Bulldog by the grace of God. Amen.

Witness our texts from this past Saturday, which was Georgia's season opener, against 9th ranked Oklahoma State University:

One minute into the game:

Me: Dude! I'm liking this new QB! We win this one & momentum will be rolling all season long.

Eric: They can't stop us--but their offense is supposed to be better than ours.

Me: (after UGA scored on the very first drive of the game) That opening drive was almost textbook perfect. I'll be watching OK's offense now...we'll see what happens...

Eric: We should be OK.

Three quarters later and we're losing. Badly:

Me: (in a store, unable to check in on status of the game) What's the score? Are we winning?

Eric: Heck* no. We haven't done crap* since the first drive. Cox (Georgia's new quarterback) looks horrible.

*Of course he didn't text "heck" or "crap." Use your imagination.

Me: Dang...this is gonna be a crap season for us. Sigh...we'll just have to muddle through.

Eric: I wouldn't bet on many wins, unless they do a complete 180 after this weekend. I'm not hopin' for much.

Me: We gotta hope for the best...

Eric: ...we gotta get a life, man.

He was just really upset...deep down, my brother knows there's not much life outside of Georgia football. And that, my friends, is truth.

So...other than Tiffany-my-love, who else out there is beyond excited that pigskin Saturdays are once again upon us? Who doesn't give a hoot at all? Please let me know straight away, so that I may pray for you...

Bwahahahahaha!

The Horns of a Dilemma

2009-09-04T21:58:00.002-04:00

After clicking here, there, and everywhere last night, I stumbled upon some website wanting me to vote for the "Scream 2009 Awards," honoring the best in fantasy, Sci-Fi, comics, and horror. Oh. Wow. There's an awards show specifically for my people*? I'm all over that.

Until I got to this category: Best Ensemble Cast.

The nominees are...

Battlestar Galactica

Lost

True Blood

Twilight

Watchmen

Um...are you KIDDING me? These are only my five biggest loves of 2008/2009.

Thank God they left out the cast of Star Trek (but how dare you, Spike network!), because the above listing has literally reduced me to fervent hand wringing. My knickers are so twisted that I'm now capable of singing "Please Don't Go Girl" in my best Joey McIntyre-at-15-voice. Hangin' tough, y'all.

I cried when Battlestar Galactica ended back in March (best show no one watched, except me & the other brilliants of the world). I almost cried while watching Twilight last November. (And those weren't tears of joy. Mrs. Meyer, I still love your books.) Watchmen was a very solid & satisfying adaptation of the best graphic novel of our time, and True Blood stars my boyfriend. And do we love that he's dead center in HBO's promo picture for the show? (Ha--"dead" center. Get it? He's a vampire. Ah, whatever...) Yes, of course we do. As he is worthy of my praise. Let's look at him again, shall we?

You're welcome.

In the end, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, I pulled on my big girl panties (which may or may not have been Wonder Woman Underoos) and placed my vote.

Like y'all don't know which cast I consider to be the best in the world. In the history of television. Oh, please...

I love it.

(But darn the teeny boppers--Twilight has this one in the bag. Sigh...)

Sometimes it's very hard work being a Sci-Fi nerd. Yet I muddle through...I rally...persevere...and in the end, I feel as if my work here is done.

*By my people, I clearly mean me, Heather, and the all the people of the world who would attend Comic-Con in costume. (Me=She-Ra. Heather=Girl In Pink Dress Who Marries Captain Kirk on the Bridge of the Starship Enterprise. Duh.)

In Which He Negates The Previous Declaration.

2009-09-01T00:03:00.001-04:00

I have been absent from the blogging world. Because I have been at the beach. Praise be!

A few weeks ago my husband was all, "No more pics of the girls on your blog!"

And then I did a beach photoshoot of the girls. At the beach. And my husband was all, "OK, you can put pictures of the girls on your blog." I knew that by being the respectful wife I vowed to be on our wedding day, I'd win out. Who says being a submissive wife is being a doormat? Not me. 'Cause I won. The end.

Sisters, sisters...there were never such devoted sisters...

I'm here to keep my eye on her...

Caring, sharing, every little thing that we are wearing...

Lord, help the mister...who comes between me and my sister...

And Lord help the sister, who comes between me and my man!

And by "man," of course they mean Daddy!

Thanks to Irving Berlin for writing the quintessential song about sisterhood. Also, thanks to my parents for loaning me their ancient camera, because I am a doofus and left my new one at home. (Someone's getting a new digital camera for Christmas...is all I'm sayin'...one that's from this half of the decade, that is!)

So...

What did y'all do this summer?

Victory.

2009-08-27T22:22:00.003-04:00

I don't know what she's going through...

...but I do know how she's handling all of it. Because I know the One who holds her heart.

I can't imagine the millions of tears she's shed...tears that will continue to fall for a while...

...but I can imagine the One whose arms are wrapped tightly around her, even now.

Over a year ago I didn't even know her...

...but she soon became a bloggy pal-turned real life friend. And I, along with many others, have been on this journey with her ever since. The greatest joy I've found via blogging has been the friends I've made because of it. I'm blessed.

Kori & Me, November 2008

I love you, my dear!

On Wednesday, August 26, 2009, Richard McCulley won his battle over cancer and cystic fibrosis. With tears in my eyes and a very heavy heart, I praise our God and cry "Hallelujah!"

Please pray for Kori, Jacob, and Calob.

Thank You, Lord, for Richard...and his ultimate healing.

And with your final heartbeat

Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side...
And fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!

--From "Untitled Hymn," by Chris Rice.

And Yet Still More People Who Are Funnier Than Me...

2009-08-26T00:08:00.000-04:00

I was going to explain to y'all how I first met Kathy, of the famous Mama Losin' It, but she did a much better job at it. Really, all it boils down to is Jared Leto. Yes, I said Jared Leto. Did y'all know he was reading our blogs around this time last year? Well...he was. Ahem.

Kathy is one of my favorite people because (a) she's seriously hilarious, (b) she makes beautiful babies, (c) she runs a daycare in her home (I admire her sanity!), and (d) she's exactly the kind of person I'd hang with in "real life." And by hang with, I mean we'd stand on the street corner in matching bandanas (are we Crips or Bloods, Kathy?), tossing out such pick-up lines as "Hey baby, you want a date?"

Yeah. That's totally me and Kathy. We're partners in crime like that. Don't judge.

I love you, Mrs. Mama's Losin' It! Thanks for guest posing at Lulaville today. I owe you. In Vegas. Of course.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lula asked me to guest post. I feel privileged. Lula and I bonded a
long time ago when Jared Leto befriended me in blogland. Mmhmm, that's
right. Jared LETO. He wanted me. Bad. Real bad.

Anyway, before Lula and I became official fans of one another, a mutual
bloggy friend emailed me about my relationship with Jared and asked me
if I really knew if it was him or not. We began an amateur
investigation and long story, short, the friend was all, "I'm ccing Lula
in on this because she's gonna die and she can help us investigate and
she's just a kick in the pants." And that was it. Lula and I "met" and
she was all, "Hell no, that's not Jared Leto...if it IS him I never said
that and I'll gladly make out with him, but hell no, it's not him."

From that moment on it's been a match made in bloggy heaven. I love
Lula.

So when she asked me to write a post for Lulaville I was all, "OK
Lula...just this once, but you have to give me a topic. I don't want
to go off and offend Lulaville and what-not!" and she was all "Poop."
and I was all "What!?!" and she was all "I want you write about poop."

I don't get it either, but Lula knows Lulaville better than I do and
if you guys are all about poop then darn it, you're getting a post
about poop courtesy of Mama Kat....and here you go:

It was our last trip to Hawaii.

Maile was three, Laina was one and a half and I was six months pregnant with
Kainoa.

Pat was off galavanting around the island in a grass skirt and swinging fire
torches at the base of a volcano, so I was alone with the girls....and
Laina was not so pleasurable to be around.

I decided some time at the school playground would cheer the girls up so I
packed up screaming Laina and smiley Maile and took them to the park.
No idea if that's ok to do, but I like to play "dumb tourist" when we
travel so I opened the gates and escorted my children into the
schoolyard.

No less than 45 seconds later Maile turns to me and says she needs to
go potty. Of course! Doesn't it always happen like that? The thought
of packing screaming Laina BACK up so that Maile could go potty at the
house and then coming BACK to the park again...blech. I didn't want to
do it. I didn't want to deal with Laina. Sooooo...I did the easy
thing. I found a nice little private corner right next to a lovely
classroom and I told Maile it was ok to just squat down and do her
business.
Boys do it all the time, right? I kept hurrying her along because the last thing I
needed was for someone to spot Pat's wife instructing her daughter to
cop a squat next to a lovely classroom. But she was taking way too
long...and then I saw The Face. It's that face she makes every time
she's got a little more in store.

Me: what are you doing???

Maile: (just making The Face)

Me: Are you POOPING!?!!

Maile: (just making The Face and nodding)

Me: Oh Maile!

But it was too late. She shat right there in the school yard next to
that lovely classroom. I took a giant palm leaf and swept the poop
beneath the building. It only seemed right.

And for the rest of the trip Maile desperately tried to share her
adventure with her aunties and uncles.

Maile: I POOP! I poop atta park!!!

Her claims were met with misunderstanding faces. Nobody knew what she
was talking about. Did she have to go to the bathroom? Should they
help her??

Me: No. No, she's just talks about poop when she's excited about
something. Tourettes.

Aunties: How was the park, didn't you go play at the park today???

Maile: I POOP!! Poopy park!! I poop atta park!!!

Me: Yes Maile! Wasn't that exciting to go to the park??

Maile: I poop!!

And wouldn't you know, that even though Maile was too young to fully
explain exactly what she meant at the time, she remembers it to this
DAY! She STILL talks about pooping at the park and how it's ok to poop
at the park because HER mom let her do it.

What was a mother to do do? I hang my head in shame.

Because Other People Are Way Funnier Than Me.

2009-08-24T09:06:00.002-04:00

Do y'all know what a 7 Clown Circus is? If you've ever read Angie's blog, you do. If not, then seriously...why aren't you reading her blog?

Over a year ago I "met" Angie and she quickly became one of my most favorite bloggers in the world. Then we became friends and my life has been all the better since knowing her. Angie is beautiful...her husband is beautiful...her 17 children are beautiful. (OK, not really 17...just five. "Just" five, I say. Two of 'em are twins. Angie is my hero.) And I covet her glorious red hair. More than anything, Angie has a beautiful heart. She is also ultra-chic and stylish, as evidenced by her post below. Read on...

I've been thinking lately.

Don't worry. It's not that shocking. I think sometimes.

I've been wondering what makes people wear the same style of clothing for decades.

First, I wonder how they even find the same styles in the stores, because clearly, some of the pieces are not as old as they are outdated.

Secondly, why do they continue to wear outdated items? Is it because they are more comfortable than newer styles? Do they truly LIKE what they are wearing? Does that older style define them in a way newer styles don't? Could it possibly be that they just don't care about what they wear and just go for what they know?

I ponder these questions. Yes. I do.

Let me give you two examples. Let's talk jeans first. I know a few women who wear elastic waisted jeans. They aren't the most stylish (at all), but I can see that they are probably comfortable. I wouldn't know. I wore elastic waisted jeans when I was pregnant and I can't say they were comfortable. But. That's the only reason I can come up with for wearing elastic waisted jeans.

Next, high waisted jeans that really ARE 20 years old. The ones that actually come to your "natural waist line", or your belly button. It could be that they are comfortable, but I doubt it because it usually looks like the jeans are biting into their middle section. It could be that they want to accentuate their pear shaped body (why does everyone have a pear shaped body that wears high waisted jeans?).....because that's what it looks like to me, but I figure it MUST be that they used to wear that type of jean in their heyday. It has to be that they feel like high waisted jeans define them, right?

And don't even get me started on Christmas sweaters/blouses. Tell me it's all nostalgia for those days when wearing Christmas sweaters with Santa Clauses and gold trim was in. Wait. Was that ever in?

Speaking of blouses.......did that word for shirt go out of style with banana clips?

I've moved a lot and been pregnant and then not A LOT and so I've purged lots of clothing. I can honestly say that most of my clothing has been purchased in this decade.

I'm just saying. I'm young (OK, OK. I like to think I'm young). I'm hip. And, I've been thinking. And looking. How about a little giveaway? Simply follow the rules outlined below for the chance to win this cache of goodness.

*ONE pair of lovingly worn polyester culottes.

*TWO puffy painted sweat shirts. These are in near perfect condition. Artfully designed by my fourth grade self.

*THREE incredibly bedazzled T-shirts. With shoulder pads.

*FOUR pairs of leg warmers, AND a pair of moon boots, size 7.5.
Rules of the Game.

Come visit me on my home front.
Come back and tell me what fashion piece you can't live without.
Follow me on Twitter.
Blog about this incredible contest, but be sure to let me know about it so you can get extra entries.

And lastly, good luck. I have a feeling this is going to be a very popular giveaway, so you'll need it. Contest ends September 1st and winner will be notified via singing messenger.

Lula, would you mind taking the giveaway part out of my post? I've decided that I can't part with the items listed above. I just realized that I need something to wear to SITScation that will knock their socks off. Since I'm on the panel and all.

Because I Was Meant For This...

2009-08-19T21:45:00.005-04:00

Season 2 of Gossip Girl came out on DVD just a couple of days ago, and my non-parenting hours have been spent glued to the TV, devouring each new-to-me episode. I am not ashamed to admit this, because what Beverly Hills, 90201 was to my generation (Class of 1993, represent!), Gossip Girl is to teens of today. And by "teens of today," I clearly mean adults over the age of 25, or more specifically, married gals who are aged 34.

Seriously. Have you seen Gossip Girl? It makes 90210 look like Romper Room.

So yeah...it's a nighttime soap for adults (and I guess teens watch, too), and I got suckered in a couple of months ago when I watched the entire first season in 1 weekend. My husband and girls were gone, so it was just me and the chips & salsa...and Chuck Bass. Y'all know I love the bad boys, and Chuck is probably one of my favorite naughty fellas of all time.

He just said something totally tacky here. Guaranteed. 'Cause he's Chuck Bass.

Gossip Girl is filled with witty dialogue...sexy snark, quick come-backs...all wrapped up in a peek into the lives of Park Avenue's uber wealthy families. It also features some pretty incredible music in each episode. (Alexandra Patsavas, I feel you...I get you...I love your work as GG's music supervisor. But girl, what happened with the Twilight soundtrack? Shudder. Please redeem yourself with New Moon's music. I'm still fasting and praying. Amen.) Yet what I really love the most about Gossip Girl is the fashion.

Each episode is like a walking, talking version of Vogue or Elle. It's pure escapism. I love Chanel and Chloe and Marc Jacobs and Marchesa. I'll most likely never wear these designers myself...well, except for Chanel. Dude, I will own me some Chanel one day. It's my life's goal.

So I live vicariously through the gals of Gossip Girl. Most especially, through one Blair Waldorf:

This creation made me want to hunt down my vampire boyfriend,

(Alexander Skarsgard, thankyouverymuch!)

while channeling my inner Roxie Hart.

It's dark, it's delicious, it's flirty, it's retro...and I want it.

Sans the headband.

**********

I gasped.

I audibly gasped when Blair wore this frock mid-way through Season 1.

It's like a contemporary version of

Grace Kelly & Audrey Hepburn, all in one gown.

Pretty much my dream come true.

Le sigh...

**********

I love her lace tights...her prim, sailor-esque dress,

the blouson sleeves, and that grey coat.

I just love me some Blair.

And I want her entire closet.

That is all.

The end.

Now if you will excuse me, I still have over half a season of deliciousness to enjoy. Oh, and would somebody please nominate the show's stylist/wardrobe person for an Emmy? He/She deserves a mantle full of trophies for such visual delights.

p.s. For some silly reason, Lauren (one of my favorite people in the world) felt I should guest post over at her place. I hated to lame up her blog. Regardless, I'm hanging there today. Please stop by and tell Lauren hello. And look at how utterly fabulous she is:

That's my Lauren...giving Blair Waldorf a run for her money.

1982.

2009-08-18T00:00:00.000-04:00

My eldest is now in second grade. Second grade. How did we get to second grade overnight, seemingly?

I loved the second grade...it was my favorite of the early primary school years. Why?

*My parents took me to Disney World for my 8th birthday. I got to miss several days of school...yippeeeeeeeeee! (And Disney was fun, too.)

*E.T. came out during the summer before 2nd grade, yet we were still talking about it well into the school year. Oh, and don't get me started on Tron. (Who's excited for Tron Legacy? I mean, other than me and my brother? And Greg, of course.)

*I read Judy Blume's Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret in 1982. It's only the standard, right of passage story for young girls. So yeah, maybe I was a little young to be reading it, but still...I love it to this day. "We must, we must, we must increase our busts!" Classic!

*My passion for music was officially kindled in the 2nd grade. Joan Jett and the Blackhearts were loving some Rock & Roll, The Motels got all kinds of angsty in "Only the Lonely" (the meaning was completely lost on me back then!), and "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell was played over and over again. By me. On my little Fisher-Price record player. Yes, I bought that song on 45...at Zayre's (Warner Robins peeps, represent!)...and wore it out.

*I rocked the pigtails. No, really...check it out:

Look how much my Mama loved me...she sent me to school on picture day

in a sundress, my beloved panda necklace,

and my hair securely fastened...with elastics, barrettes, and ribbons.

That is some tender loving care right there.

As Libbey learns and grows and enjoys the second grade, I promise to never send her to school with more than 2 varieties of hair accessories. Coco Chanel was famous for reminding the ladies to remove one accessory before leaving the house each day.

Mama, why didn't we heed Coco's sage fashion advice back in 1982? Seriously! And is that a white shrug I'm wearing over the red sundress? Yeesh...

New Favorite.

2009-08-13T00:00:00.000-04:00

I have a new favorite website to share with y'all. It has but a mere two pages, but oh! Those two pages are so very worthy.

Please head your merry selves over to Old Rock Dudes With Meg Ryan Hair.

Tell me that's not the BEST site name you've ever heard. 'Cause it is. Do not debate me, as I will win this battle.

Let me give you a little taste of the brilliance:

"This is Rikki Rockett from Poison, but when I look at it, I think of

Carnie Wilson from Wilson Phillips."

Seriously? That is truly the best ever. And this is coming from a gal raised on Poison and Wilson Phillips. Children of the 80's, unite!

I feel certain the site owners, April & Millie (neither of whom I know), are meant to be my new BFFs. I get them. I get their humor. And I completely dig it.

Nope...there's nothing I love better than making fun of aging, white rock stars. With their Meg Ryan dids. (Nikki...girl, there's even a Quacker Factory reference on this site. WIN!)

Rock on, y'all!

Nosy Rosy.

2009-08-10T00:05:00.001-04:00

I am not, by nature, a nosy person. Well, not since I became an adult just a few years ago. Ahem.

I don't have a hankering to know all of the town gossip, nor do I snoop through medicine cabinets.

Yet curiosity does get the best of me when I'm at the house of a friend, for a Tupperware party, a cook-out, a baby shower, etc. Specifically, when I'm a guest in someone's home and have to use their "powder room." If the community toilet happens to be in the same room as a shower and/or bathtub, you can bet your bottom dollar I'm going to peel back the curtain to take a peek at the toiletries contained within.

Now, I don't open shower doors. Come on, that makes too much noise. But a curtain is whisper quiet. So I peek. I admit it.

If a particular friend has especially fabulous hair, I want to know what kind of product she's using. Does she smell delicious? Well, I have to know what kind of shower gel she's lathering with. If said friend has an unfortunate 'do that is not crowning her glory, I want to judge her shampoo & conditioner. Maybe the fault lies therein! And then I can say, "Have you tried L'Oreal Ever Pure? It really helps your color resist fading!" Gee, I'm so handy to have around!

Please don't be afraid to invite me into your home. Rather, into your bathroom. To prove that I'm not a too shady a character, I'll invite y'all into my shower:

Look at all these wonderfully named beauty products...

"Glaze," "Naked," and "Ain't Misbehavin'"

Now that's what I'm talking 'bout.

I rock. Clearly.

Because I believe in equal opportunity nosiness,

I give you Scott's shower shelf.

Ho-hum...it's rather boring.

But at least he smells delightful!

Do you peek behind shower curtains? Will you admit to it here? Or are you just a regular ol' medicine cabinet snooper? Fess up!

*I actually had to look up the spelling of "nosy." Is it "nosy?" "Nosey?" I usually spell it with an "e." According to Miriam Webster, both are the proper spellings. "Nosy" just looks better with "Rosy."

Just love me in spite of my idiosyncrasies, please.

(For those who've asked--the nasal aspirator does have a purpose. My husband is a doctor, aka extremely anal. His sister is an audiologist, aka extremely anal. The aspirator is used in place of Q-Tips. Because my husband and his sister believe that Q-Tips are satan in the guise of cotton tips. Um...whatever. I use Q-tips every single day. I don't flush my ears out with that blue thingy. Just so you know. Oh, and yes...Scott shares my razors. Classic Daisy disposables. They're his fave. Don't judge.)

Go Ahead, Be Offended...

2009-08-07T00:08:00.001-04:00

One of my favorite people in the world, Lauren, has this semi-regular feature over at her marvelous blog where she discusses the things she despises. Things that the general population usually fawns over. Lauren is brave, bold, and not afraid to be original.

I so love that about her.

Over the past few weeks I keep seeing a particular topic discussed on Twitter. A particular television show. A show that I do not watch. A show I've never watched, in fact. It started me pondering about things not high on my "Oh my stars, I love this!" list.

So with Lauren's permission, I give you my first ever list of things that I consider lamespice.*

Here we go...

My Twitter pals are constantly going on and on about SYTYCD.

Until 2 nights ago, I had no idea what those initials stood for. No lie!

My pal, Nikki, sent a text, stating, "At a taping for SYTYCD!!!"

I was all, "What's that?"

Nikki, I'm certain, wanted to break up with me on the spot.

Our bond is still intact, thankfully.

Seriously...I've never seen this show. It's probably good.

Or maybe it's completely lamespice.

Whatever.

(Brooke, don't break up with me.)

I'm probably in the 5% of the population who could care less about

Adam Lambert.

It has nothing to do with his sexual orientation.

Nor his style. (I dig the guyliner and leather, always!)

Please understand that I know most of y'all love him.

But he murdered Tears For Fears' "Mad World"

and people peed their britches thinking that was the best shiz ever.

Um...hi...it was TERRIBLE!

It pains me to say that, because some of my BFFs totally love Adam. (I know, Heather. I know.)

I'm sure he's a nice guy. But I will never forgive him for ruining

one of my most favorite songs in the history of ever. **

This might make me unAmerican, but I'm gonna put it out there.

I don't like dogs.

Yours may be cute and precious and lovable and sweet,

and that's all well and good.

But the fact is: dogs smell.

The end.

(Yes, I am a cat person. Get over it.)

The Hills...

Really? Seriously?

Not for me.

Plus, this Rolling Stone cover further proves my point

that Rolling Stone has ceased to be a

relevant source of music information.

Yeah, I said that.

But The Hills?

Who cares if they hate each other? 'Cause I supremely dislike them!

Cupcakes are all the rage now.

They're like...trendy and uber cool.

Yeah, they're sweet and fit perfectly in your hand.

But so do baby chicks, and I'm not singing their praises, either.

I'm just not a huge cake fan.

Now...chips and salsa...yep, that's what I'm talkin' about.

Give me the salty over the sweet. Anyday!

(Bekah, I love you. Please don't break up with me.)

I'm just sayin', y'all. Different strokes for different folks. That's what makes the world go 'round!

*If you see the term "Lamespice" across the intrawebs, please note that Lauren invented that word. She should totally copyright it. It's such a brilliant phrase...I use it frequently. Thanks, Lauren!

**Tears for Fears originally recorded "Mad World." But Gary Jules' version stole my heart. It's literally in my top 5 of most favorite songs in the wide world. Not only is it hauntingly beautiful, the video is perfection. Check it out:

A Cautionary Tale. You Dig?

2009-08-04T21:15:00.008-04:00

Have y'all heard about the mommy blogger who was alerted that a picture of her baby was posted on Craigslist? In an ad for adoption? Apparently the offending poster was running a scam and stole the mother's picture of her son off her own blog.

Yeah. Frightening. Right about now, we mothers are shaking in our boots, and rightly so.

Of course I learned of this story last Friday, while traveling to the airport with my husband...who immediately said, "That's it! No more pictures of the girls on Lulaville!" He also reminded me, "You know that if someone messes with either of our girls, I'll be calling you from jail. 'Cause I'll shoot first and make my one phone call later." I reminded him to call George, our lawyer, rather than me. Why waste it on someone who cannot help and will only cry and slobber and thank Jesus for a husband & his license to carry a weapon? A husband who is not afraid to use said weapon, that is. Amen.

But seriously? No images of the girls on my blog?

That means I cannot post about our fabulous trip to Mt. Airy, NC, also known as Mayberry. (We only took 200 pictures. In 2 days. What terrible parents we are.) Nor can I tell y'all about the Kelsey's visit. Heather & her brood stayed with us for a few days and a fine time was had by all, including pedicures for the girls (sans Caroline--awww!), lots of food and drink, and a couple of quality hours of delicious vampire television for me and Heather. Good, good times. Which you'll have to trust me on...as I cannot share the photographic evidence.

No pictures means I can't show y'all my sweet Libbey's toothless smile...last week she lost 3 teeth! Nor can I share about Caroline's way chic new hair "did." The child is just a couple of months shy of her 4th birthday, yet the fab hair belies her age.

No photographs of the Litton girls on Lulaville? OK. We'll see how long that edict stands. Ahem.

What can I share with y'all? How 'bout all that's currently diggable in my universe? Let's see...

Dear AMC,

Thank you for bringing back Mad Men in less than two weeks.

I've missed my ad men, specifically one Donald Draper. Sigh...

(Joan Holloway...I love you. Thank you for being my style icon.)

Love, Lula

(That's Joanie in the amazing emerald dress.)

If you're not watching Being Human on BBC-America, you're missing out.

Big time.

Hello! It's about a hot vampire (Mitchell),

an adorkable werewolf (George),

and a cute-but-confused ghost (Annie).

All living together as flatmates in Bristol, England.

It's my new favorite show!

It's spooky but funny, combined with mysterious drama, and

that snarky, sly British humor I love so much.

Go watch Being Human. Thank me later.

Also...
It's David Tennant's last season as The Doctor.
Mourn with me, as I'll likely never recover.
TEN IS MY DOCTOR.

But do still love him with Donna Noble.
CATHERINE TATE, YOU ARE A GENIUS.
She's my favorite companion thus far.
(And she's ginger, and y'all know how I feel about the gingers!)

I love Band of Skulls.

baby darling doll face honey is so brilliant.

The bassist is female!

(She shares vocal duties with the lead guitarist.)

Pretty much listen to this album all day long, so I highly recommend it.

("Blood" is my fave song. No, wait..."Dull Gold Heart." Or maybe "Honest...")

I'm also wearing this one out a bunch:

"My Boy Builds Coffins" is an amazing song title...and an amazing song, at that.

Love me some Florence.

It's now less than a month till September 1...

I've been waiting almost a year...

The sequel to The Hunger Games...

CATCHING FIRE by Suzanne Collins.

Remember how this time last year I was all,

"Oh, you gotta read Twilight...yadda-yadda-yadda..."

OK, so forget that.

I mean, I love Twilight and all...I still do.

But I looooooove The Hunger Games. More than Twilight.

GASP! I know, but it's true.

I'm so over-the-moon excited to read Catching Fire.

Go read it. You will not be disappointed.

I want to know what's diggable in your world right now. Please, do share. Since I shared my current loves. And since I can't share my forever loves. Maybe I'll get Lizzy to draw some of her famous stick figure pictures for me...

Please tell me it's not just me...

2009-07-30T08:29:00.004-04:00

So I promised pictures and a full recap of what I've been doing the past couple of weeks...but y'all...I just cannot find the time to sit at this laptop and devote an hour to uploading pictures for a post.

That sounds ridiculous, I know...who doesn't have an extra hour for blogging?

Well, I don't.

How are y'all doing it? This summer, I mean? I cannot remember ever being as busy as we've been over the past two months. Those of you who are blogging daily, being as witty and entertaining as ever...I beg of you...HOW?

"Well, you're at the computer now, Lula..." Go ahead, say it. I've said it to myself.

But then I looked at the clock and realized I have to get my girls out of bed, feed them breakfast, go to the bank, darken the doors of the dreaded Walmart, pack their bags for the weekend, wash/iron/fold for about an hour, take them to have their hair trimmed, check in on Scott's great-grandmother, feed the outside kitties, backwash and shock the pool, water my ferns on the porches, mop the laundry room floor, and vacuum the entire house. All before 3:30 pm.

And I just now had a mini-nervous breakdown.

Tomorrow Scott and I head to Texas for our yearly trip to Austin. Some of you may remember what I was doing there last year. It was kind of a big deal to me.

A long weekend of sitting poolside in the sun, eating delicious Tex-Mex, enjoying live music, catching the latest must-see at the theater, sleeping in, and not having any responsibility is definitely what I need. I'm praying it will be a healing balm to my over-worked soul.

But before I can relax it seems I must spend the whole of today running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Trust me when I tell you that I miss blogging regularly. More than that, I miss each of you. It sounds lame and trite, but it's the absolute truth. I just need to get my act together, allow life to settle down a bit, and have y'all love me through it.

Will you please love me through it? Thanks.

XOXO

And on a completely unrelated note, I must own this t-shirt.

Jim Henson is my hero.

I totally identify with Animal.

I'm Not Dead.

2009-07-27T18:03:00.003-04:00

Last week I took an unscheduled bloggy hiatus. Why?

Because this Mama Is Losin' It. Lately I've been a Not So Stay-At-Home-Mom. And for the past few days I've been Buried With Children. My life feels as if it's been a Seven Clown Circus. All the Mindless Junque in my life has kept me from being able to Escape Into My Thoughts. I literally stand on my front porch, shouting, "Welcome to the Nut House!" That's what this place feels like right about now.

I'm Not Your Average Soccer Mom. Not by a long shot.

All I really wanna do is stop for a moment. Enjoy some Sunshine & Lemonade. There's this desperate need to celebrate my Handful of Life. (OK, my 2 girls are not really a handful. Most days.) And I really want to return to My Version of Sanity, which is hanging out with my blog pals, of course. I want to Live. Love. And Eat. And surely I have enough Pocket Change to make this happen. Heck, I've earned it over the past week.

This morning I woke up and said, "This is the Day..." Because it is. Psalm 118:24 tells us "this is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." I am taking the time to rejoice and be glad, because it's a welcome change from all the whining and sighing and busyness of late.

I've missed all of you. I really and truly have. Tomorrow I'll post pictures of where I've been...what I've been doing...whom I've been hanging out with. Because in between the whining and sighing and busyness, I've also had a lot of fun.

In the meantime, please head over to Heather's and read this post, if you haven't yet. She explains, with such grace and clarity, what I am unable to at this juncture.

I hate being too busy. And the harder I work, the worse I look.

(I think her vitamin is really a martini. Is all I'm sayin'...)

Authentic.

2009-07-20T00:06:00.000-04:00

There are things you do

because they feel right

and they make no sense

and they make no money

and it may be the real reason

we are here:

to love each other

and to eat each other's cooking

and say it was good.

This, y'all, is friendship. And I just wanted to share it with each of you this week. Thanks for hanging out with me, virtually.

(Thanks, Sun, for the card...it's the sweetest sentiment ever. Now...come make some guacamole for me! You know I'll say, "It was good!")

Oh, But We Will Whistle...

2009-07-17T00:03:00.001-04:00

The excitement level in this house has increased exponentially over the past few days, building to a frenzy heretofore unmatched. Why? Oh, because we're going to the one place my girls have dreamed of visiting for the past year.

*It's not Disney World.

*It's not the American Girl headquarters in Chicago.

*It's not F-A-O Schwartz.

*It's not Mr. Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. (Though Libbey & Caroline do feel as if they have the golden ticket.)

We are traveling to a place that has been deemed more exciting than Disney, American Girl, Schwartz, and Wonka, combined. My friends, we're headed to Mt. Airy, North Carolina.

Yes, I said Mt. Airy, North Carolina.

For the uninitiated, that would be the birthplace of one Andy Griffith. As in The Andy Griffith Show. As in the one program my husband and daughters are obsessed with and watch every single day. Mayberry recreated, for all to experience!

Why, it's none other than Andy, Opie, Gomer, and Barney!

My children quote dialogue from the show. They can name every single character in the Mayberry universe. Libbey's heart's desire is to sit at Andy's desk (he was the Sheriff of Mayberry, ya know!) and prop her feet upon it. Caroline wants to be locked in one of the jail cells. Scott will take 927 pictures while his eyes well with tears and his heart bursts with pride.

I. Am. Not. Joking.

Honestly, I'll just be along for the ride. 'Cause while Andy Griffith is a good, classic, wholesome television show, it ain't Designing Women.

Happy weekend, y'all--what are your plans? Will you be in Mt. Airy? Stop and tell us "HEY!" if you are!

*I appreciate whomever created these 19 seconds of genius. 'Cause I get the quirky:

*DUDE...I'm so honored. The Mt. Airy Visitor's Center commented on this post. That's so hard rockin'!

Turn Around

2009-07-13T00:00:00.001-04:00

Yesterday she looked like this...

and there was nothing better in the world than snuggling with her for a nap.

Today she tells me she's going to live with me forever. She's going to take care of me when I'm old, just as she took care of me earlier in the day, when my stomach was upset.

I love that my 7 1/2 year old brings me a small cup of Coke, "Cause I thought it would help settle your stomach, Mommy." And I do not take her for granted.

So she says she's going to stay with me forever.

But I've seen her at weddings. The one we attended yesterday is still fresh in my mind, and in hers, as well. I saw how she memorized the flowers, the cake, the bridesmaids' dresses, the colors, and the music, in all the detail her young mind can contain. I watched as she stared at the bride and groom, dancing their first dance, unable to take their eyes off each other. I obliged when she asked, "Will you take a picture of Kailey? And of me and Kailey?"

So I did.

Libbey and the new Mrs. Kailey Woliver

I have a feeling her promise of forever won't extend to me much futher than another 15 or so years. Because tomorrow I'll be singing...

"Turn around and you're tiny

Turn around and you're grown

Turn around and you're a young wife

With babes of her own..."

Please excuse me while I go sob and wail for a good day or two. While Caroline looks on, making no promises, announcing, "Mommy, I'm going to Georgia!"

Yeah, she cut the cord a long time ago.

Sometimes I'm Kind of a Big Deal.

2009-07-09T00:18:00.000-04:00

In my previous post I mentioned a little thing I had to attend. An important event, if you will. Wanna guess what it was all about? Why did I feel the need to get gussied up? Where did I go that required me to wear these sassy shoes?
OK, start guessing...was I:

*At Michael Jackson's funeral? (In yellow slingbacks, no less.)

*Attending a private party with my close, personal friend? You know the one.

*At a casting call for Lost's final season, which resumes filming next month in Hawaii? Producers are looking for a thirty-ish southern belle to play an ex galpal of Sawyer. In a flashback, of course. Um, hi...that is so ME!

*Hobnobbing with entertainment industry insiders at a swank event filled with all manner of famous folk, musicians, supermodels, and the occasional 500 pound, tattoo-covered bouncer? Man, I signed so many autographs that my Sharpie ran out of ink. Sigh...

*Sitting in on a symposium with 200 other people, all begging the 5th dentist to reconsider his apathy for Trident? (This "four out of five" deal has been going on far too long, people.)

*Networking at a job fair for the FBI? You know they're looking to train stay-at-home mothers in field work...taking down drug cartels, meddling in European espionage, busting brothels. It's all about the serious, covert operation, and who better to handle a brothel than a SAHM? Oh...just so you know...Mama Kat may or may not have been with me at this particular job fair.

This may or may not be the result of being shunned by The Bureau.

*Learning to pole dance? Mama Kat was with me, too. She's so talented.

Anyone? Anyone?

Take a wild guess. I'll reveal the answer...the real answer, that is...in a bit.

Two things to note:

1. One of these scenarios is real...yes, I've embellished a bit. But me and the yellow shoes did experience one of the above events.

2. A few of you know where I was on Monday night. I know y'all won't be telling. Because you fear me. And love me, too.

*Mourn with me that the above scenarios do not include a personal sighting/touching/drooling over my boyfriend. Y'all...I don't even joke about possibly meeting my Jason. But when I do have that moment, because it will happen, there will be no game playing in Lulaville. No guessing, no beating around the bush. Oh no, I'll be posting all about it. For at least 2 weeks. Ahem.