Interview With A Vampire.

Just kidding. Calm down. Dude's still hiding out in London pubs, and can you blame him after all that craziness in November and December? Bless his heart.

My pal, Gina, was interviewed over at her place, by her mother. I loved getting to know even more about Gina and she offered to interview her readers, as well. I really hate talking about myself (snort!), but I took one for the team and agreed to play along.

I'm going to pretend that Gina is a famous talk show host. Like the straight, uber-conservative version of Ellen. (I love Ellen. I love Gina. Go with me here...) And I'm sitting across from her on a big, squishy chair, in a studio lit by television experts, so that the light softens my wrinkles and highlights my hair just so. Both Gina and I are wearing garments by Chanel, jewelry by Van Cleef & Arpels, and heels by Christian Louboutin. (Yes, we are smokin' hot.) The audience is wildly applauding, heartily laughing, and even sighing at key moments while Gina and I chat away like the old friends that we are. (Hey, we met last Spring--that's a long time in blog terms, you know?)

I've now set the stage. Gina and I have had our kissy-kissy moment and we are ready to get down to business:

Lula, it's so great having you here! (Oh, I'm so thrilled, Gina!) Since our time is brief let's jump in and get started. What is your favorite comfort food and your strongest memory tied to it?

Gina, no self-respecting southern girl will say anything other than cheese grits, homemade fried okra, and cast iron skillet-baked corn bread. Throw in a few pounds of freshly steamed crab legs and a pitcher of sweet tea and you have my dream meal. Comfort food at its finest! I have no particular memory attached to these dishes. I just love southern cooking and good seafood.

Now Lula, I know you are the mother of two girls. (Yes--hi Libbey, hi Caroline! Kisses!) All mothers have "bad mom days," of course, so how do you escape when faced with a case of the mommy grumps?

Wow...that's a great question! When I have days where I feel as if I'm the worst mother in the world, I tend to phone a friend for some girl talk. Or cry. Or play really loud, really angsty music. But I honestly find that the best escape is a simple prayer to my Father: "Lord, HELP!" Followed by a very long, very hot bubble bath.

Let's get serious for a moment...if you had one do-over in your life, what would it be?

Only one? I'd love to have several. But since I've learned--the hard way--from all the trials and mistakes of my 34 years, I have to say I'm thankful for God's preservation. However if I did get one do-over I would choose to have continued in my formal dance training. I gave it up for cheerleading, because I was a young teen and popularity was of my utmost concern. Had I stuck with dance I could have been the next Ann Reinking, which was my dream.

You could have been her protege! Moving on...we are in a sad economy right now, but if money were no object, how would you enrich your life, Lula?

It's fun to dream, isn't it? My life, as well as my family's, would be incredibly enriched by owning a pink beach house on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. I'd also love to have a plane so that I could fly my friends to said beach house on a moment's notice. Of course you (and your sister and mother) are invited at any time!

Well, all our children would certainly love that, but we'd need a few "Moms Only" weeks, too! (Amen!) We're running out of time (audience groans), but I do have one final question for you: We all have things that we dislike, even hate, about ourselves. What is the thing that you love best about yourself?

Should I go with the vain answer or the humble one? How 'bout both? I love my boobs. I'm being totally honest here. They are still pretty decent in appearance, even after breastfeeding two children for 12 months apiece. And nursing was both the hardest and the best thing I've ever done in my life. I'm thankful to have had that experience, so I'm grateful for my boobs. I know I should be a proper lady and use the term "breasts," but I hate that word. Please forgive me, y'all. You know I'm a bit of a rebel at times.

Thanks for letting me interview you, Lula...hasn't this been fun? (The crowd goes wild.) My next guest is the star of the upcoming film, Crank 2...the amazing Jason Statham! Lula, you're invited to stick around, of course.

Lula faints.
And scene.



There you have it, y'all! My very first interview. Thanks, Gina...this was bunches o' fun. Are you ready to kill me yet?

Now...I would love to interview you and you and you. So here is what you do:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
So come on--let's get to know each other better. And do not fear potential questions--I promise to play very nice. Good times!



*p.s. Gina--I had no idea we picked the exact same title for our interview posts until I went to link you. Great minds, huh? We are so fab, you convert, you.