Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Sound of My Soul.

One year ago I was fairly obnoxious in sharing my love for a particular series of young adult books written by a thirty-something housewife from Arizona.

One year ago I spent hours reiterating, to naysayers, "It's not a book about vampires. It's not a 'teenage' novel!"

One year ago I wrote many blog posts begging y'all to read what I deemed the greatest love story of our generation.

One year ago I flew to California to view the big screen version of said love story, with two ladies I'd met in early 2008. Women I'd befriended because of our shared love of a particular book, which, at that time, was still rather obscure. We bonded over a sparkly vampire and an ordinary, yet spunky girl. (Heather & Tiffany, I love y'all. Deeply. V4&After.)

One year ago I was proud to to identify myself as a "loud and proud fan" of four books in a Saga too fantastic for words.

What a difference a year makes!


Have you ever had a favorite cosmetic? Let's say...a lip gloss. This particular lip gloss is fan-freakin'-tabulous. It glides on perfectly, shines like the top of the Chrysler building (name that movie!), and never ever traps stray strands of hair on your perfect pout. I mean, this is the lacquer to end all lip lacquers.

So you tell the world about it. "You MUST buy this product--it will change your life and add so much delight to your existence!"

The world heeds your advice and soon this lip gloss enrobes the pucker of every other mouth you see. Fantastic!

Alas...one fine day...some unfortunate gal decides to paint on the gloss with a heavy hand. Oh, woe the sloppiness! Or perhaps you see a well-intended woman wearing frosted pink eyeshadow, along with the gloss to end all glosses.

Frosted. Pink. Eyeshadow.

Your gloss has been ruined. It's intended effect is cheapened. Cheapened like a working gal at a truck stop.
"Hey baby, you lookin' for date?"

This, my friends, is how I feel about the fandom that encompasses The Twilight Saga.

The fiending (a phrase coined by the genius Kristen Stewart in last week's Entertainment Weekly) have taken my beloved love story and frosted it with tacky, sparkly, really offensive pink eyeshadow.

Countless merchandising fails too numerous to mention (I refuse to enter a Hot Topic, on principle alone), a bojillion websites* devoted to the movie and its cast, and seemingly every magazine cover of the past 52 weeks. One cannot escape the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's tale of Bella and Edward.

It's too much. For me. To say I'm over it is putting it mildly.

Cheapened. Heather described it thusly, many months ago. It's truly the best description. And it deeply saddens me.

When sweet Fran inquired earlier in the week, "Are you so excited for New Moon in a few days?" I hung my head. Sighed heavily. And admitted to myself...

"Eh. Whatever."

Will I see New Moon this weekend? Sure! I've heard it's remarkably better than the first film. This makes me happy. Maybe this means all the fasting and praying has paid off. Maybe Chris Weitz reads Lulaville. He is a down dude, after all.

So while the embarrassingly overwrought fandom ("My life is complete because I've been in Robert Pattinson's presence!" Really? Um...OK. No wonder the poor dude is afraid to walk around without 43 bodyguards.) has stolen a bit of my Twilight joy over the past year, I am resolute in my refusal to hand it over completely. Because in the end, my love for this story is remains intact. It's still Edward and Bella. The Edward and Bella I fell in love with almost three years ago. And no one can take that brilliance from me. Even if its shine is slightly murky, I'm able to peer past the fandom flaws and continue to appreciate the love story dreamt by one Stephenie Meyer. I'll even appreciate it for not being well-written literature. 'Cause...uh...it's not.

Yeah. This is hot. I don't care who you are. It is delicious.
Well, if we rid Rob of a bit of that grease paint.


If you see New Moon on the big screen this weekend, please let me know what you thought of it. If you are not seeing New Moon, I won't judge you. Promise!


*Before someone feels as if their Cornflakes have been peed upon...I am not knocking any Twilight-related fansite. I've met some of my most favorite people in the world because of a few, very special websites devoted to The Twilight Saga. Sites run by "normal" people. Ahem.

However...I have, and will continue to judge any website run by grown women who attend "Twi-conventions" dressed in vampire capes. Capes bought at Party City for $9.99.

37 comments:

Jenny and the Princess Peonies said...

I adore you. I completely agree. I really didn't want to go see New Moon this weekend. The fandom has cheapened it for me. But now that it is actually here I am jonesing a little to see it. In fact I read New Moon cover to cover 2 nights ago and I am pretty sure this is what made me want to see it. Even though it is my least favorite book of the series I still loved it. The story is honest and really about love and what we will do for those that we love. Sigh....so yes I will go see it. I won't be there at midnight with the crazy fangirls who have ruined Rob, Kristen and Taylor's life but I will see it. And when I do believe me I will discuss with you.

PS. It really would be great if we could watch it together at the cinema near Seattle that is 21 and over and serves alcohol....maybe Eclipse? Just sayin'. 'Cause if it horrid I could drown my sorrows in said alcohol and cry on your shoulder and then bitch about it with you ;)

S Club Mama said...

I won't be going to see New Moon this weekend. I wish. Oh well, I told my friend (who is going to the midnight showing and is more obsessed than anyone) to let me borrow it when she gets it on DVD. That's about how soon I'll see it. Saturday I'm going to the Husker game. Woo woo! Fricking cold...I'll look like a vampire.

Kate said...

You sound exactly like me with Harry Potter (the great love of my life). Only there were definitely large parts of the fandom that existed outside of all the crazy movie-mania, thank goodness. You should see me spit fire when people say something like "Harry and Emma" and mix the actors with my beloved characters. The actors act the parts, but they are so NOT the characters. None of that.

I'm sorry you're experiencing the loathe cheapening of something you love due to stupid Hollywood. I feel your pain. ((Hugs))

Sissy said...

Okay, so I am going to see the movie, but I have low expectations since New Moon was my least favorite of the books. I can't lie. It really was. But my birthday is tomorrow (11/20) and it's more about hanging out with the girls than getting waaaay excited for the movie.

I was in BN the other day and they had this huge display of Twilight stuff, some of it kinda cool, and some infinitely cheesy. Like, as a grown woman, I don't think I'm going to wear a t-shirt with Edward's face plastered all over it, but an apple paperwreight might be okay. Well, actually, I wanted an apple christmas tree ornmament cause I thought that might be a little more subtle.

Anyway, it should be an experience. Four thousand teenagers and three middle aged women!

Suzann said...

The more I read you, the more I like you. : )
I haven't read any of the book (gasp) but I own them all as my daughter enjoys them.
I keep saying I'm going to read them and yet I haven't. I'm just so pleased that someone, other than me, feels this promotion of entire series has been, well, overdone.

Vicki said...

I've been wondering. Don't worry, the lipgloss still looks fabulous on you.

Oh, and Annie!

Lula! said...

VICKI WINS!!!!!
Of course someone I know in REAL life...someone I've known for over half my life...got the Annie reference.

Vicki rules, as always.

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

I was quite surprised to discover that my own daughter is over it. Telling me to be sure not to get her a New Moon calendar this year. But maybe Renoir. Or Linkin Park (oh, what a fabu juxtaposition!). And last night during Glee...I had to giggle about the Twilight/Burger King commercials. How on earth did THAT happen?!

Brandy said...

I'm choosing to ignore all the hypedom happening. I would rather remember the books the way they played in my head & the way I felt when I read them. Rob is NOT my Edward. Period.

Having said that I will see New Moon but I won't be first in line this time.

ugagirl30 said...

Hello. My name is Heather and I am going to the midnight premier of New Moon. (That's the first step, right?) New Moon was my favorite of the series because it is all about Jacob. I was not thrilled about Twilight's release and actually waited until it came out on DVD. But not this time....I am going with a friend and two pre-teens at midnight to relish in Shark Boy's glory. Don't judge. He's grown up now!

Tony C said...

Taking the teenager and her friend to the midnight showing tonight...what we do for our kids.

My parents would never have dreamed of letting me do something like that on a school night or any other night for that matter. But she's a good kid that makes great grades...so what the heck.

Maybe she's a Lula in the making...

Shannon said...

Saw the new Burger King commercial last night... it's really bad. Reeeaaaaaly bad. UGH.

That being said, Angie and I are going to the midnight premiere tonight. I , too, am hoping all the fasting and praying has paid off...

Unknown said...

Consider your sanity complimented.

Summer said...

I never read them....I know, I know.

I'm just not into crack. =)

Or the withdrawl and hangover that comes when you give it up.

Hang in there mama.....glad to have you back on my side!

Unknown said...

I feel like such a loser Lula because I have never read that book. I mean, how can anyone NOT have read the books? I have no idea how they have escaped me. And I love books. so any way, I am not going to the movies to see it but I hope that it is well loved by all the fans : ).

I just read your post at Mama Kat's about how you gave her hunger games. You are so nice. I love nice people. And you are super pretty too : ) I just saw the little picture of you two and I love your outfit and your hair. It is perfection!

Janet said...

You Rule. That is all.

CaraBee said...

Twilight was SO bad, that I am scared to get my hopes up that New Moon will be better. But I really do think it will be.

I will NOT be at the theater tonight or tomorrow for that matter, but I think my BFF and I are going to see it on Sunday. The morning show. Cause we're old and cheap. And hopefully there won't be a million screaming teenaged girls there.

Amy said...

Yes! I am going to see New Moon this weekend. Because I want to see it but also because I took my (then) almost 12 yr old to see Twilight last year and she Fell. In. Love. with Edward and now that she is (almost) 13, she won't let me forget it!

I loved Annie!!! :D

Live.Love.Eat said...

I hear you loud & clear. It seems like you, Heather & Tiffany fired the shot that was heard 'round the blogosphere re: the saga so I imagine your angst over the commercialization runs deeper than, say, mine.

But I will enjoy drinks with a BF before the movie tomorrow night.

And what do I have to do to have you come over missy. I am getting a complex. It's a Paula Deen one today. Will that do? :)

Denise Grover Swank said...

I AM seeing New Moon, against my better judgment. I hated, detested, loathed the screen version of Twilight. Why do I think New Moon will be better? I dunno. I only know it really couldn't be worse. So tonight at midnight, I'll be seeing it with my dear friend Kathleen because she asked me too.

Abi said...

I'm new to your blog I found it through BusyBeeLauren, but I have to say I completely agree with you wholeheartedly! You said everything that I have been thinking about lately; and I was starting to get annoyed, but like you said...at the end of the day it's still Bella and Edward :)

Unknown said...

I'm glad you wrote that ** section at the end

Alexandria said...

I could not have said it better myself.

I picked up The Twilight Sage almost a year ago...I read them all within 5 days and I swooned hardcore.

Saw the movie...I was less than impressed but I still swooned because it was Edward and Bella. Now..I get annoyed by the Volvo/BK/Vitamin Water commercials that are pimping out the awesomeness that is Twilight.

Will I be seeing it this weekend? Nope. I cannot hang with the super crowded theatres and screaming fangirls. Will I see it within a few weeks. ABSOLUTELY!

Do I still love it even though it is pink eyeshadow? Yes ma'am I do!!

AdriansCrazyLife said...

Hear hear! I am a Twilight fan, though not a crazed Twilight fan - there's a difference. But yes, it has been SO overhyped, it is taking a lot of the fun out of it.

And yes I did wear a Twilight shirt at SITScation, but mostly I thought it would be a great conversation starter, considering I was meeting 80 women I'd never met before. And it did - that's how I met Sevi.

And I will be going to the premiere tomorrow night, just because I want to see it for myself before I read all the spoilers on-line!

Jen said...

I may have said this before but I did not see the first movie b/c of my love for the story. I just couldn't, the book is just too beautiful. But I am thinking of seeing New Moon. I don't know, it just looks better and maybe its b/c I didn't love the second book as much as the first.

Anyway, I totally get what you are saying here. And I hope that you have a good time, seeing the movie when you go.

Busy Bee Lauren said...

Just so everything is clear...when she says, "Love you, Lauren", it's not because she is loving me through my idiosyncracies of wearing capes from Party City.

Hale to the Nah!

Girl, you know how much I agree with you on this post. I get you.

Brandie said...

I have no opinion here because I am not a fan. Have not read the books or seen the movies. I know kinda lame but oh well. Just found your blog like what I am seeing! And I love Summer from lemusingsofmoi!

Heather said...

I have mourned these many months over losing something so near and dear to me. I truly do feel like the love story has been cheapened. I do. There are images burned into my mind from the movie and the hooplah that have scarred the book for me. I can't go back and, yes, I do mourn that.

I now panic a little when people say, "Did you hear that they've bought the movie rights to Hunger Games?" There's so much to lose when a movie is made based on such an incredible book. It's even harder when you can't escape any of it because of rabid marketing.

Rabid marketing. Darn, I'm good.

Claremont First Ward said...

At the last minute I saw New Moon yesterday afternoon. They theatre was not even half full, so it was nice.

I'm just not a fan of the movies. I thought they did a great job of sticking to the book........the difference is that I never got sleepy reading the book. Enough said. :)

@TiffanyRom said...

Amen.
Bless it.
V4.
And After.

Anonymous said...

I feel the same way, and I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I hadn't even heard of Twilight until just before Breaking Dawn was released and by then there was already bits of movie info out there and I decided to read the books before the movie news gave away too many spoilers. So I went out and bought Twilight and New Moon and within a day or two I had to go back for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. I read all four of them twice in less than two weeks and I was in love.

Then I started watching a lot of the movie news and was never really happy with Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart as Edward and Bella and when I watched the movie I was so disappointed. A while later I tried to read the books again and all I could think of was the awful movie and I just couldn't get through it.

I feel like the crappy movie and the insane fandom has ruined the books for me and that makes me so sad. I don't know yet whether I'll even watch New Moon.

Staci said...

i didnt read the fifty two million comments so forgive me if someone answered already, but my answer is annie....my fav!! and i SERIOUSLY watched it this morning at the dance studio i work at because i was bored watching the front desk....everyone thought i was NUTSO singing all the songs....

BonBon Rose Girls Kristin said...

My bestie(and everyone else) has been trying to sell me on these. One of these days I'll pick up that first book. Just as soon as the old toddler gives me some free time. Ah ha

Robin said...

So....now that New Moon is such a big success and everyone is so into the whole vampire thing, do you suppose having a not tan, more on the side of pale pallor, will become the new "in" look?
:-)

Charlene said...

I totally agree re: the books. I was SOOO disappointed when I saw Twilight and all the surrounding hoopla. If you haven't listened to the audiobooks, I HIGHLY recommend that you do. But then again, it will make you hate Kristen Stewart... and her awful, flat delivery. (Sorry to be a hater!) All that said, I am still looking forward to seeing New Moon and you have be encouraged!

SunshineBarlowe.com said...

Can you tell I'm catching up on my lulaville reading.. gosh, I've missed you. And I thoroughly appreciate this picture.. I do. I do.
love you.

SunshineBarlowe.com said...

Can you tell I'm catching up on my lulaville reading.. gosh, I've missed you. And I thoroughly appreciate this picture.. I do. I do.
love you.