I have a secret desire that I'm going to share with y'all. It has nothing to do with Twilight...or Lost...or Jason Statham. (The crowd goes wild! Yeah, I hear your cheering.) But now that I mention him, it's been a few weeks since we've seen my fella in Lulaville. Why yes, I'll happily oblige:
Where was I? Oh yes, my secret desire.
I want to be friends with Dominic Howard...Travis Barker...and Tommy Lee. Because once I'm big buddies with these chaps, they will willingly school me in the art of percussion. That's right, y'all...I want to be a drummer. The drums fascinate me...they're the total backbone of any rocking song. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate some fine guitar licks, keyboard plucking, and good vocals. But the drums just do it for me.
And really...I just wanna bang away, hit 'em hard, and thump some bass. (Please keep the dirty jokes to yourselves...I know what you're thinking.) The drums are all about some acceptable aggression. That's a cause I can truly get behind.
This Christmas I'm asking for a set of drums. Whether I receive them or not remains to be seen. But I really want 'em. I'll practice every day, clean the litterbox, do my homework early, and go to bed on time. Puh-lease can I have some drums?
I know I'll not be as skilled as Travis Barker (formerly of Blink-182)...or goodness knows, Mr. Tommy Lee. (Do I even have to mention his band? I think not!) Let's recognize the man for his brilliant percussion abilities, shall we? Not for his Pammy Past. But one day, one very fine day I have high hopes that I'll be able to perform Muse's "Stockholm Syndrome" as well as their drummer, Dominic Howard. Oh my head, he plows through this song with such ferocity that I just know those drumsticks have to be smokin'...
I refuse to mention how many times I've blared this tune in the MomVan, at decibels unfit for suburbia. So thank God I live in the country. The only creatures I'm possibly offending are cattle. And opossums.