Monday, December 29, 2008

Rubble.

Empty boxes.
Scraps of wrapping paper.
Torn ribbons.
Plastic packaging.
Gift bags to save.
Gift bags to toss.
Polly Pocket, Littlest Pet Shop, Ponyville, Tinkerbell & her fairies, Barbie & her entourage...
Candy wrappers.
A Marble Maze Set--with 45 pieces!
Pretend food from McDonalds.
Real food from McDonalds.
Half-eaten candy canes.
A missing Sephora gift card. (Wince!)
Duplicate "Let's Go Fishing" games.
One fuzzy pink slipper in the kitchen, the other...who knows where?
Green slime. (Thanks, Aunt Mandy. Yeah, really.)
Empty glasses of much-needed adult "grape juice."
A newly watched copy of Jason Statham's "Death Race" on Blu-Ray. (Amen.)
Death Race Pictures, Images and Photos

Amidst all the chaos and rubble and wasteland that is my home's current state, I bid you "Happy Final Monday of 2008!" Please, y'all...please...tell me your homes are disaster areas, too. It will make me feel better and we can console each other through these trying, messy times. These trying, messy times known as the house's holiday hangover.

Seriously, my home is one heartbeat away from being a bad country song. I can hear Dolly warbling now..."Oh, if this house don't get a cleanin' soon, I'm gonna start drinkin' way before noon..."

For real.

I now have to clean...and sort...and divide...and conquer. Wish me luck, please. And send reinforcements, if possible. There's talk of truffles and lattes after this joint gets straightened out. YES!

40 comments:

TheRightWife said...

Ahhhh, the joy of not celebrating Christmas at all this year :) I have nothing to take down, and nothing to put away. Of course, I'm hoping they induce me tomorrow so I guess I'll be busy with a baby. Good luck in your cleaning endeavors! I hear that truffles grant some sort of special cleaning fairy power!

Swirl Girl said...

You should have been part of Anal Retentive Hanukah over here.

(and I suggest a fishing tackle box for Polly Pocket et.al - works like a charm)

(and we have a marble maze too - ours has over 100 pieces. and of course I have a storage bin already for it)

hate me?

sticky said...

Mess? yes, complete and total mess. And I'm not cleaning

The really important part? We got a copy of Death Race, too...yummy. (could have used a tiny bit more gratuitous naked butt shots)

Gina said...

How 'bout if I make you feel really BAD- because not only do we skip the craziness, we weren't even home! And then we had an appraisal Friday afternoon, and the house was absolutely sparkly. And here's the kicker- my mom had my 2 oldest boys spend the night so she could hire them to clean for her for our New Year's Festivities!!!!!
You may noe go back to shoveling your house back into order.

P.S. Don't feel too bad, because it is already very messy again!

Amy said...

YES!
My kids went to winter camp on Saturday. Sleepover camp during winter break. YES!
I cleaned all day. I even took down the tree, put away every Christmas decoration there was. Yay. Yay for winter camp. :)

Amy said...

No mess here, sorry. My girls didn't get much of an abundance of things, so cleanup was quick and easy. Plus, they weren't here for 5 days, so that made a difference too.

I did see your man in DEATH RACE though. I can't get past his scary voice, but that bod is SEX-YYYY!
I think of you everytime I see him now :)

Shelley said...

Well, I could lie to you and make you feel better, but then again, I shouldn't, should I?
My house is in order. I'm not anal retentive, I don't dust or anything, but when we opened presents, we put the trash in a big ole Hefty bag. And after everyone left yesterday from our last Christmas party, we chucked all the garbage out. No trash laying around. The only thing I have left to do is take down the Christmas decorations and I feel like I should leave them up a few more days. I can't believe everyone taking down the decorations before the new year even arrives. Oh well, good luck in your endeavor and remember, whatever you throw away this year, you get to shop for next year.

Live.Love.Eat said...

Hah! Don't feel bad. While most areas are still in tact my kitchen is not. I still have the decaf remnants in the percolator my parents brought over and I still have the "bar area" set up from Xmas day so if you need that drink before noon no prob :)

Happy Final Monday of 08 to you too girl!!!!

CaraBee said...

We celebrated Christmas at my in-laws, which makes the mess here at home practically nothing. Despite this, I still haven't disposed of all of the present debris in the living room. Lazy, thy name is Cara. After all of that celebrating, sounds like you need more than a latte, girl!

Becky said...

We had garbage night Friday morning. Mike was worried that there would be a knock on the door and that the garbage men were going to totally kick his ass! We just kept dragging more and more out there.

Every day the piles go down, but I swear it won't get better till the kids go back to school and Mike goes back to work!.

Hang in there and drink lots of that grape juice!

Mama Dawg said...

I can't lie. I cleaned yesterday. But only cause we took down the decorations.

Rhea said...

OMG, the best line ever..."my house is one heartbeat away from a bad country song." LOVE it.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Well since I live in the WORLD SMALLEST APARTMENT (according to my mom)I had to make several runs to the dumpster already so that we didn't keep "living in those conditions" (another mom quote) in a "place like this".... whatever.

You forgot the Disney princess polly-pocket like doll that lost it's head in the first 3 hours out of the packaging.

Mrs de Miranda said...

House disaster? Check.

Glad you had a good Christmas!!

Sornie said...

My house is nearly spotless but only because we go elsewhere to celebrate the various Christmases.

Brandy said...

Sorry but Stevie would have none of that. Trash goes out the same day and we clean before leaving for vacay.

Denise said...

My house is amazingly picked up but ONLY because we hosted a huge family progressive dinner at our house on Christmas night. Instead of playing with baby's and trikes and the Wii I was making my children help me pick up and clean. I'm a brutal slave driver.

The trick at my house is to KEEP it clean. Ahh, maybe if I make the kids live outside...

Laura said...

Love the "holiday hangover" bit and I snuck in your house and got that Sephora gift card!!

Jenny and the Princess Peonies said...

We were suffering from Holiday Hangover too, but alas I finaly cleaned up last night. I have to get ready for the New Years shindig you know!

Did you like the bands I sent you?

Good luck on the carnage cleanup!

April said...

My house is definately suffering from the holiday hangover!!! I'm trying not to stress about it...but I AM! On top of the girls being home for another week, Mike is off work until January 19th...oh holy crap...will I ever get my house back???

Elena said...

Okay, WHAT is up with all these clean people up above?! I'll tell you what, if your house is anything like mine right now, you will DEFINITLY need reinforcements. Good luck to you and to me, I think I'll find my carpet by tomorrow.

KDLOST said...

uhhhh... i ran out of detergent. (darn.) that's how messy my house is. a wholllle big bottle is gone. so amen sister, pass the liquid refreshment.

but it sounds like you had a very merry christmas! so that's good!

cheers to that!

Melissa said...

My home is the cleanest it's ever been.

Just playin' wit ya.

Barbie shoes and fake money are the item of the day to be thrown away. Why they don't just paint on the shoes, I will never understand. Those things fall off so easily and then I have to worry that the 20 month old I watch is going to choke on one of them.

Tony C said...

Mess? We can't find the floor in the living room!

The kids got way too much stuff this year. We're currently negotiating with both sets of grandparents about taking possession of some things they purchased this year. How man riding toys does a 1 year old need?

Loved the poem. Did you get drums?

Jen said...

I new toys have joined forces with the old toys and totally taken over here. It is a battle that I fear I am losing, badly. Let's just skip the clean up and go out for coffee, well its past noon here so let go out for wine. Then the house won't look so bad. We can call it an new decorating style.

Kristina P. said...

Good luck! And I am totally going to McDonalds to get me a cheeseburger. I've been in withdrawals the past few days!

Heather said...

I am in the midst of house hangover, with half of the decorations down, a naked Christmas tree, Gabe at my knee yelling "You are ruining Christmas!", five loads of laundry, two sick kids and a brand new bottle of Crown Royal begging to be opened.

I may not be able to be with you in person, but honey, I am with you in spirit!

Anna Lefler said...

Hey - I'm so glad you're digging MAD MEN!!! Isn't it amazing? I'm totally addicted, too...I'm in serious withdrawal since the season ended. (FYI, the season 2 DVD is coming out soon...that's all there is so far...dying for season 3 to air...)

More, please! [pant, pant]

Happy New Year!!

XO

Anna

dancinginthemargins said...

Puh-lease. I get you. You should see my nest. I keep rocking back & forth telling myself it is all going to be okay.

It is, right???

heathersister said...

Bigger kids = fewer more expensive gifts. Not much for me to clean up. Woohoo.

Heather and I received matching Edward shirts from our Mom. They are lovely.

Will be posting soon about Danielle's life size Edward!

Mama Kat said...

I was forced to do most of the cleaning yesterday due to daycare starting up this morning. Bah humbug. There are a few stray decorations I missed though...tell you what I'll come clean your house if you come scoop up the baby that's crying downstairs (assistant's slacking...).

Kat said...

We moved straight from Christmas chaos to Katie's birthday chaos. But...the housekeeper came today...so there is some semblance of order. At least until we got home from shopping. Where I saw my SIL at the mall - and she gave me an insincere smile and turned her back to me. Not that I am holding a grudge or anything.

Wait...what was I supposed to comment about?

KimmyJ said...

I'm right there with ya, except I have to work and I'm wondering when I will find the time for a proper cleaning!!

Mariah said...

My house is beyond repair I fear

MarciaBrady said...

Lula, you are hilarious. I think you should take up song writing!!

My home is a mess too, but it's in the process of getting cleaned today before I have to venture back to work!

Hang in there...keep thinking about the prize in the end!!

By the way, Happy New Year!!

Shannon said...

Hmmm... maybe I should have gotten myself motivated with the promise of truffles for when the cleaning was done...

I've been at it all day (half-heartedly) and my house still is a disaster area. And to top it all of, my 4-year-old nephew is here to spend the night. Then I will have another nephew and niece (they are 9 and 3) here tomorrow. All day.

Talk about needing reinforcements...

Veggie Mom said...

We haven't even attempted to clean up our Christmas Detrius yet. Keep hoping it will evaporate, or something! At least the cats have cornered the market on Christmas bows...they think we've created a brand new toy just for them!

Eudea-Mamia said...

Oh honey, I winced before you even typed it. Ouch.

Hope it's located under something!!

If it were in my house, I'd find it right about Easter.

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Still working on mine...

Sunshine said...

girl, now you know it's true..