Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Mr. Lula In The House.

*I have given over the reigns of the blog to my husband, Scott. This was all Tattooed Minivan Mom's idea. I want everyone to know he did this all by himself, except for the photobucket tutorial I had to give him. He even went to imdb.com to look up pertinent info. Kid you not.
Lord, help me.


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The real title of this post is:
The Top 10 Reasons Why I Am Really Cooler Than Jason Statham.

Now that we got that out of the way...hello to everyone in Lulaville! This is Scott, also known as June...Dr. Litton...Scotty...Scott, Jr...or Mr. Lula. I'm glad I have this opportunity to speak to the millions of daily readers of my wife's blog. Now that I have your attention, I believe quality is more important than quantity, so please relish my thoughts as I share them here.

I think we all know that my wife's boyfriend is that one guy called Jason Statham.
jason statham Pictures, Images and Photos
I don't get what the big deal is, but hey...he's her dude. I'm ok with it.

(For the record, I have a girlfriend...her name is Katherine Heigl, and she's smokin' hot, however not as hot as Lula. Awwwwwwww...)
katherine heigl Pictures, Images and Photos
She ain't a boy, that's for sure.

That Jason guy is all well and good, but I think I'm significantly cooler than he ever thought about being. Here's my proof--all 10 points of proof.

*My hair line is not receeding.

*I'm a country boy, and as Hank Williams, Jr. says, "A country boy can survive." Take that, action hero!

*He may have a charming British accent, but my southern drawl is much sweeter...and more soothing.

*Jason never graduated medical school, with honors. No one has ever referred to him as "Doctor Statham." I'm just saying. (Lula got that from me, by the way!)

*He is capable in the butt-kicking department, but I have serious butt-screening skills. That's colonoscopies, just so you know. I perform this procedure every week. On Brown Friday. Without a stunt-double.

*Jason Statham is 5'10". I looked it up. I'm 6'3", and you know what they say...size matters.

*That guy may get all the ladies due to this high-profile status, but I got Lula. 'Nuff said.

*So he's been on the British National Diving Team, but have you seen my cannonball? I'd take him anyday. Me and my mad diving board skills, that is.

*I don't think he's ever recorded a CD. I have. Let's hear it for the University of Virginia's Spinal Chords, particularly the baritone section.

*It takes more skill to repair a facial laceration than it does to create one by use of fist and force. Oh, and I can deliver babies with my bare hands. I can also stitch one-handed. I think it's clear that I win!

So I'm not an action hero. Or a member of the cast of Lost. Or a vampire named Edward. Or a Cylon. But I am a pretty swell, guy. I am Mr. Lula.

Hear me roar!

Thanks for letting me bend your ear. And thanks to you, honey, for letting me take over your blog for once. See? I am way cooler than Jason Statham. But I don't have to convince you of that!

70 comments:

Heather said...

Told ya I'd be first. I'll be back in a minute.

Heather said...

Okay, just had to make sure I was first. Sorry I kept your wife on the phone so long; we had some catching up to do.

Great job on your post. I'm loving the Brown Friday. Yeah, you rock, Scotty.

Just sayin'.

Kristina P. said...

This is hilarious! Clearly, Mr. Lula is much better than Jason Statham.

Rhea said...

Mr. Lula ROCKS. Brown Friday? Cannonball? Oh, man, I'm in love. Lula, he's almost as funny as you are!!!

Rhea said...

spinal chords *snort*

Elena said...

LOL!!!!! Mr Lula's title alone was hilirious. I dare say he's just as funny as Miss Lula herself. This was HYSTERICAL. And I guess I'm a 12 year old boy at heart, but "brown Friday" about made me roll out of my chair.

Michelle said...

6'3" beats 5'10" any day of the week! :)

April said...

I agree. A southern accent is so much better.

dancinginthemargins said...

My hat off to Mr. Lula because this post is the funniest one I've read in a while.

Spinal Chords. Oh, sweet hilariousness.

greedygrace said...

I agree-- you sound WAY better than Jason Statham!

Great post!

Julie said...

that was awesome!

Jenny and the Princess Peonies said...

Um why do they call you June?

The list rocks!

Lula is one lucky girl!

Swirl Girl said...

Mr. Lula..You had me at 'brown Friday'!!!

Just remember, it's not the height of the man , but the length of his flexible sigmoidoscope that counts!!

Trish said...

ummmm, so i'm just gonna throw this out there:

Lula has Jason. you have Katherine......


Can I have you?

Gina said...

I totally see a "sister-cat-fight" playing out here between me and Trish!
Seriously! I was giggling my hiney off at the one handed stitching.
We'd be great together. I know what to do with Steri-Strips and Benzoine Tincture.
We could get together and compare first aid kits....

Jennifer P. said...

Hoo-Rah Mr. Lula! Well put :)! I'd take a doctor over an actor any day---even if that actor could play a really good doctor....

Lula,
letting your man take over the blog like that---you are awesome! I'll send you 17 texts any day!

Vanessa Rogers said...

I love that you husband posted that! How sweet, seriously! You must feel like such a lucky gal!

Amy said...

Get all over your bad self Dr. Litton.
i love a top ten list. YES!
I like that you have mad diving board skills and a Southern accent. You're right, you win. :)

Shelley said...

Mr. Lula, you ROCK!!!!!
And it's okay for y'all to have Mr. Statham and Mrs. Heigl. My grandma always said, "It don't matter where you get your appetite, long as you eat at home". LOL.
You did a great job on this post. I'm so jealous of Lula now.

Sissy said...

You and Lula are perfectly matched. I love me some tall men!

heathersister said...

Well, move over Edward Cullen, I have a new boyfriend and his name is Dr. Scott Litton Jr. Ha.

Great post Mr. Lula

Queenie Jeannie said...

It's UNANIMOUS!! Mr. Lula rocks!!

Great post!

Amy said...

Oh Mr. Lula! I love it! You rock!

Ya need to think about starting your own blog. Seriously. Just sayin.

Kat said...

I wonder if I could get Michael to write a weekly piece. Monthly? Or something. Cause it would help with my blog block...

CaraBee said...

THAT. WAS. AMAZING!

Live.Love.Eat said...

OK where do I start?!!! Size matters, butt screening skills, brown Fridays. GOOD STUFF!!!!!!!

Melissa said...

I have only one thing to say. You know how they say the longer you've been married you start looking alike???

Well, you all blog alike.

And the two shall become one.....

Preston said...

Great post Mr. Lulu! I don't know about the rest of her readers, but I sure prefer Doctors to Action Heroes. Doctors have staying power while Action Heroes get old and debilitated really fast. :)

Melissa said...

very cute post, btw.....

My husband tried to sneak onto Another Day In Paradise one time, and I wigged out, so he's scared of me now.....I need to make that right:)

momof3crazykids said...

Great post Mr. Lula! Lula sure is lucky to have a man like you. You win over Jason Statham any day.
But you know we all have to have our boyfriends. Just saying!lol

April said...

OH MY! I'm not even telling Mike about this...HE IS NOT TAKING OVER MY BLOG...not even for one post!

Great job Scotty...YOU ROCK! But I did already know that. And yes, you are much cooler than Jason...but I do adore a man in a lab coat.

Tony C said...

Halleluiah! I welcome the testosterone! I love Lula's blog, but there are times I get the same feeling of isolation as when my wife and I went to see 'The Notebook' (I was the ONLY guy in the theater).

Dude (love saying that), Statham's got nothing on you! You are real with the stitching, cannonballs and that Brown Friday thing. Pretty boy is just acting tough.

Heigl is hot! She's the only reason I can endure Thurday nights at Seattle Grace Hospital by force of guilt (read wife here). As a REAL doctor let me ask you this - have you ever seen that many doctors at one time in the emergency room much less every time someone comes through the doors? Please...it's hard to get A doctor in the ER much less the Chief, heads of each specialty, assorted residents, and interns. But I digress...

Lulaville is a great place and Lula is a great blogger. Enjoyed your post and hope you return.

Brandy said...

Scott you just owned Lula's blog. Seriously. (How'd you like that cat tattoo yesterday? Nice right?!)

Love the reference to "brown Friday" and it IS true - size matters.

I'm convinced.

Kori said...

Awww make my heart melt. Mr. Lula is just the sweetest.

I do however have a question for Mr. Lula.

A while back when Lula was sick and I was on Google IM I proceeded to IM Lula not knowing that it wasn't Lula I was talking too. However Mr. Lula informed me that it was indeed him and he reffered to Lula as LA. Now I know that, that is her initials but I can't help wondering is that why you reffered to her as LA or is it because she resembles LA with all the bling of it all ya know gorgeous shoes, awesome handbags, and perfectly done makeup from Sephora.

Ya know cause I'm just wondering.

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Mr. Lula, or June (can I call you Junie?)...that was a fan-fricken-tastic post!

Loved it!

Lula, you got a funny guy there.

Mama Dawg said...

You know what? You're right. You're way cooler than that other guy, whathisface. Way cooler.

Kim said...

I've know all that for, let's see about 6 years! He is a wonderful doctor for my family, ALWAYS available to us. He did forget the most important thing he's ever done...He is the father of two beautiful girls, who call me "Memaw"! What more could he want?

Becky said...

Oh Lula! Hands down, Scotty wins! Any one that can deliever a baby, do a butt screen and is (ahem) over 6 ft tall gets my vote.

You Lucky lucky duck!

Britt said...

Okay, I expect Mr. Lula to start his own blog, pronto. I will settle for him guest posting more often. If this doesn't happen, I may cry.

Hairline Fracture said...

After that list, I have to agree--you are way cooler!

Carrie said...

Oh mah gawd! I have nothing to say.

Except I might need an appointment with Dr. Scott to discuss my incompetence after reading this post...

The Stiletto Mom said...

Hi! I'm new here, found you by way of TMVM! Ok that post was HILARIOIUS! Brown Friday...I'm dying laughing. My hubs is in competition with Edward these days.

Going to poke around your blog a bit, don't worry I'm quiet and I won't leave a mess. :)

Janna said...

Very cute post. I think there is no comparison, Mr. Lula wins this contest!

Pinky Roth said...

Scott, your blogging rocks today! I am so proud of you and to be your favorite MIL...remember Vegas when you kept telling me that??? You did an awesome job today and made me laugh! You are a wonderful husband for sure...come back again to Lula's blog anytime!

Mom

Linda said...

You totally win, hands down! Lula, you've got a keeper there! Hope you'll share him again sometime. I bet the 2 of you are a riot to have at a party.

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

"but I have serious butt-screening skills" May be the best line I've ever read in a blog. You got a keeper there! :)

Cracked up at all of it!

Jen said...

Sorry Lula, I kinda agree with Scott. He is a keep. I would totally have him if I didn't love my hubby so much and he wasn't already taken by you.
I hope you understand and we can still be friends. ;)

Shannon said...

More guest posts from Mr. Lula, STAT!

Eudea-Mamia said...

With complete deep and loving respect to Lula...

do you make house calls?

Ashley said...

Wow! What an awesome post! I see you are able to keep Lula on her toes. You have definitely got Jason Statham beat.... but Edward would be a close call ;)

Marrdy said...

Anyone with a southern accent has me swooning!!

scargosun said...

Yea!! I like Mr. Lula!

Mama Kat said...

Do you help your wife bring in the groceries?

Do you change diapers?

Do you get up in the middle of the night with babies?

Do you clean?

Are you clean?

Do you fill up your wife's gas tank for her?

Can she go shopping with little to no guilt and spend at least 300 dollars a month on herself?

If you answered yes to all these questions then I would like to ask for your hand in marriage.

Thank you and God bless.

Nicole said...

I have to say....your husband rocks!!!! I am still laughing at the brown friday comment! LOL

Great post Mr. Lula!

Janah @ So Not Mom-a-licious said...

We loved it! I am making hubby read these with me. And he laughed!

Veggie Mom said...

Yeah, I think you're waaaaaaayyyyy coooooooolllller, tooooooooooo! And I don't think my hubs would be as brave as you, either, to post randomly on his wife's blog. Will this be a regular feature? You go, Guy!

Tiffany said...

Scott, I am laughing so hard right now.. did you say "butt-screening skills" and "Brown Friday"....

I.Am.Dying.

Can't.Stop.Cackling.

Calling.Lula

MarciaBrady said...

Hilarious!! Lula, you got a winner!! GREAT post! So much humor in one family, how do you all stand it!?

Sunshine said...

HYSTERICAL.. and yes, Scotty...you are way cooler..and hotter :)
YOU ROCK!


Sun

angie said...

Oh my goodness, Mr. Lula. You'd better watch out or all of Lula's readers are going to be requesting more posts on a regular basis. I knew you had to be cooler than Jason...........you're married to Lula, right? :)

Mrs. S said...

OK Mr. Lula-- you are better than Jason...and I must say this because Jason has never addressed us and shown that he has a real sense of humor. Also I must say this...before you say things like "Brown Friday" you should really warn a girl! I spit water all over myself and my poor computer as I was in mid swallow. Thank you.

sandi said...

Well, that was great I have to say!

Paula said...

WOW, I just saw a post where you were giving some gal a hard time about potty training and I loved it!! LOL, so I had to check you out and wow. I don't think I would let your husband take over too many times on your blog you might be out a husband. He sounds like a great guy! Fortunately, I already have a great husband, but country he is not! And I was looking for country!! LOL, I really enjoyed your husbands blog a thon! I'll be back!

KimmyJ said...

Now I see why you married him. He is clever, funny and a great sport!

Carrie said...

Bwa-ha-ha-haaaaaaa! I was laying in bed last night when I realized I wrote "incompetence" instead of "incontinence" on my comment here!

Boy do I know how to screw up a joke or what???

DERRRRRRRR...

Mariah said...

Mr Lula! I bow down to your greatness. You have Lula...nuff said

Beckie said...

Scotty, we already knew you were greater. I could probably name 10 more reasons. We love you! The Farrants

Vicki said...

Oh I'm so glad you wrote this! Pangs of guilt heaped upon Lula's head for even mentioning that dude ever again. And the day Katherine whatshername looks like that without two hours of prep work and then two more hours of photoshopping is the day I'll...I'll...eat these words.

Awesome for Lula to let you take over her blog though. You should do it more often! You are really witty.

Kimberly said...

How sweet! and a man that knows that yes, size does matter.

newlyweds said...

How hilarious!! Great job!!!! Yes Doctor over Super hero anyday!