I've long been convinced that we mothers are racking up imaginary awards and trophies and points and badges for the victories we encounter in the every day routine. Didn't scream at little Sally when she wrote on your newly hung wallpaper? SCORE! You get an award. Took your child and a van full of other kids to the park, remembering to bring snacks, juice boxes. repellent, and SPF 50? AWESOME! You've earned a medal, super mom!
I tally my little awards a few times every month. It keeps me sane and gives me something to do. I'm not busy enough with raising my kids, hanging with my husband, being a chauffeur, cook, maid, teacher, friend, foe...
Most of my trophies are on the small scale, but I have a few really shiny ones which warrant special attention. I've endured and persevered in categories such as:
That Time Libbey Threw Up 2 Hot Dogs (i.e. A Bojillion Chunks) All Over Her Bedroom When I Was 9 Months Pregnant With Her Baby Sister.
The Night A 3-Week Old Caroline Shot Shadoobie Across The Room And Some Of It Got In My Mouth.
(Yeah, it happened...I'm not painting the picture for you, though.)
or my current favorite,
When I Refrained From Beating The Fire Out Of Caroline For Hiding In A Rack Of Clothes At Kohl's While Every Mother In The Store Gave Me That "What Kind of Mother Loses Her Child?" Look Of Incredulity When I Ran Frantically Through The Store Sobbing Her Name.
Yeah. That one's a big honkin' trophy.
Tuesday night (well, Wednesday morning, really) I earned another award. It's a small plaque, but it's brass-coated and awfully nice, and I figured I'd share it with y'all.
Libbey woke at 3:00 in the morning and came to tell me, "I almost thew up but I swallowed it back down." I was still completely asleep and unable to comprehend her name, much less process her story of re digesting bile. I put her in bed between me and Scott and resumed my slumbering status.
Thirty minutes later I was dreaming of a waterfall. Then I realized the waterfall was, in fact, a geyser of puke.
Another thirty minutes later, after Scott cleaned and changed both he and Libbey, and after I'd stripped the bed, put on new sheets, cleaned myself and the area surrounding the bed and bathroom, we all fell back asleep. For thirty minutes.
We then lathered, rinsed, & repeated, as needed, for the rest of the night.
I've totally earned every bit of my newest plaque. I'll mentally hang it in my virtual trophy room while browsing the aisles at Target over the weekend. Why yes, I do need those Converse wedge tennies! They'll position me higher so I can hang my latest award just so.