Thursday, May 29, 2008

Perspective.

You must watch this. Immediately after viewing I had my husband's nurse administer my shot of Perspective. Unfortunately it hasn't worked. Yet.




Tonight is the season finale of my beloved Lost. Two glorious hours of most excellent television. (Disclaimer: although recent posts might lead one to assume that I am addicted to TV, I'll let y'all know that I am not. Really. I only watch Lost, and now Battlestar Galactica on DVD. Oh, and The Bachelorette. Seriously--our TV is rarely on. Just didn't want y'all to be worried about me. I do have a life outside the boob tube. But back to Lost...)

Lord willing and the creek don't rise, tonight we will know who is in that coffin. Why stupid Kate leaves my boyfriend, Sawyer, behind on the island. (Please--Jack? What a weenie.) We'll have seen Waaaaaaalt again, and maybe learn a bit more as to why he's so special. Locke & Ben (Michael Emerson, the greatest television actor of our time!) will have either moved the island, as per Christian's (Jacob's?) request or die trying. Is Jin dead or is Sun a really good actress? Will the freighter blow up? Is Claire dead? If not, why is she suddenly in cahoots with Christian, aka her Daddy? And for the love of pete, can Desmond and Penny please have their long-awaited reunion?

Those are the big questions. I even have quite a few small ones, as well as some requests. Cuse & Lindelof, are you listening?

Why is Keamy so evil yet so sexy? I want him to lead me across the island...in handcuffs. OK, kidding. Kinda. Only if he takes that whatchamajig off his arm--you know, the device that will most likely blow the freighter?

Will Daniel ever remove his black, 80's skinny tie? It's casual dress on the island, dude.

Will Rose and Bernard get in a good quip or two before the credits roll? (Sincerely love those two characters--they need their own spinoff.)

Does Hurly truly realize that Jesus Christ is not a weapon? (A gold one at that.)

I want Sayid to break someones neck again. With his legs. He's so badass, that Iraqi.

Lapidus, take me for a spin in that chopper of yours! We'll come back for the gang later. (Love, love, love Jeff Fahey. Truly.)

I WANT SAWYER TO HAVE A FLASHBACK or FLASHFORWARD. We've been robbed of that this season. Darn writer's strike. In Island time he's gone from deranged yet satisified killer (take that, Anthony Cooper!) to reluctant hero in less than a few week's time. Hello--running through the jungle while protecting baby Aaron? Hot, hot, hot.

I'm certain some of my questions will be answered, and in the long standing tradition that is Damon Lindelof & Carlton Cuse, 90% of my ponderings will have to wait 'til next season. 2009, that is. Don't even get me started. The ache in my heart is so heavy and real it's all I can do to sit here and not eat an entire bag of peanut M&Ms. Before this day is over I'll most likely be found by my family, curled in the fetal position, counting down the hours 'til 9 pm, covered in my own urine and feces. Because I have a serious problem, folks. Please send an intervention group to Southwest Virginia and save me from myself. Make sure they have those peanut M&Ms with them, too.

Come 8:59 pm I'll be fine. I'll be Lost...and all will be right with the world. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

*Random Thursday will return next week. Because there is nothing random when it comes to Lost. Just so you know.

10 comments:

Kelly said...

i forgot lost was on tonight. am i still in the will? i'll watch it, promise. if not today, tomorrow. tivo = bff. and no matter what happens, even if jack and ben consummate their love for each other, no lulaville spoilers...at least not in the title.

Vicki @ notsosahm.wordpress.com said...

Uh, first it was tampons and vulvas. Now it's urine and feces. I'm cringing and snickering all at the same time :)

Debbie said...

I think I should just cut and paste my comment from the last post. Not one episode. Ever. But I enjoyed reading about your fervor for all things Lost ;)

Heather said...

OH MY STARS OH MY STARS. If only we lived closer, I'd be huddled on the floor clutching you as we waited. I've already informed everyone that I WILL NOT be cooking and the children will be in bed by 6:30 in order to ready myself. I can't possibly think about the looooong Lost-less months ahead. Except that the 4th book in the Twilight series comes out in August. That's what keeps me warm at night.

Tori said...

I'm so excited about Lost tonight! And I'm with you... I want a flashforward for Sawyer! Although Jonathan swears that he'll be one of the 3 main characters that are supposed to be killed off tonight. I certainly hope NOT! He's my favorite. There are a ton of questions that I want answered..... I hope they will answer some tonight.

Lula! said...

Kelly--your lack of fervor is grounds for a break-up. I'll forgive and remain spoiler-free 'til you give me the heads up. But girl--you gotta watch. Tonight is a very big deal.

Tori--I am really hating on Jonathan now, especially if he proves correct. I am have lived this entire season spoiler-free, unlike last season, when I knew the entire premise of the finale. So I'm going into it tonight without having a clue. Sawyer lives--in my heart, at least.

Heather--my solace is found in Breaking Dawn's release, as you mentioned (August 2!), and in the "Twilight" movie--Dec. 12. These two things, along with Jesus, will sustain me. I claim it! Oh, I can't forget "Fringe." Hopefully that will fill a void for a while. Sniff-sniff...

Trish said...

Wow!

You LOST me yesterday with all your battlestar next generation buffy gallactica ramble (although I do love LeVar......hello Reading Rainbow) and I have NEVER EVER EVER seen an episode of LOST.

Fear not, I'll still love you through it though.

Mrs. Romero said...

"Pregnant and children under 12 aren't capable of perspective." HYSTERICAL.

So, I have never seen an episode of Lost... I know, you probably feel the way I did when Heather said she had never seen Sex and the City. First, I thought I heard her wrong, then I felt like a bad friend who has allowed another woman to live in a state of neglect.

Sad.

insane mama said...

WTF am I going to do when Lost is over?
Seriously.
And yeah Sayid is a freaking bad ass and I am pretty much worshipping him these days

Kat said...

Oh, great minds! I posted about LOST today too. I hope that when it's over (not sure that I can handle that anyway!)...that I'll know something more than I know right now. Something!