Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Lofty Aspirations.

So all this Twilight fervor is rapidly growing and spreading across the net, and I, for one, am a big champion of anything related to my books. "Crackliture," y'all, as Tiffany so brilliantly coined the phrase. In case you're new to Lulaville, I happen to love me some Stephenie Meyer, with good reason. The other night I stumbled across a blog written by a teenage girl who appeared to be a little more than obsessed with Edward & Bella...as in she stated in a post, "If I could have one wish it would be that I could turn into Bella, so that Edward would be mine..."

Say what? And why aren't you reading Animal Farm, working on your Trig homework, and finishing that report on The Emancipation Proclamation? Let me address this precious and slightly clueless young lady for a minute, please...

Girl, I agree that Edward is the prime and perfect specimen of masculinity and all that is delicious and fabulous in the male species (human or vampire). I am totally in love with him, too. Aren't we all? (Come on Twilighters--admit it!) But sweetie, he's fictional. In plain English, he's not real. Let's keep this in perspective, shall we? How 'bout throwing some affection towards an actual person walking on this earth...say...any of the fellas in the High School Musical series? One of the Jonas three (not four--little brother is, well, little)? The British lads in the Harry Potter flicks? These guys are all crushworthy. As well as living & breathing. I'm just sayin'.

And then I started thinking about my high school loves, and how personally I took the death of River Phoenix. Oh, he did it for me. Yes he did. Sigh...what a brilliant talent...what a brilliant face. Rest in peace, River.
And while I certainly enjoyed Mr. Phoenix, I can't say that I ever wished to be one of his female leading ladies, on-screen or off. Real life is much more interesting...hello, I get to be Mrs. Scott Litton, Jr. That's much more swoon-worthy to me. (Love you, honey!)

But all of this got me a-thinkin'. No, not about handsome men, but the whole "if you could be anyone--real or fictional--for a day/week/month, however long--who would you choose?" scenario. Not who would you be with--because mine are already on the right side of this blog, of course. Just not going there with this post. No, who would you be? It's a fun question, with answers often being both insightful and hilarious. Thus, an unknown teenager's "Edward rant" has led me down a rabbit trail of confession to y'all, the fabulous readers of my little Lulaville corner of the world.

Because he's whom I would choose, every single time, when asked this question:

Shaggy, baby! Have you seen how much this man eats in any given episode of Scooby-Doo? Look how skinny he is! Tell me that's not a dream come true, y'all. I want to eat hogies and ice cream and pie and hot dog links and pizza, and burgers, and milkshakes, and, and, and...and stay as reed thin as Shaggy. You know those bootcut jeans of his are a size 24. I'll even take his knobby knees.

Please...no munchie jokes, people. We have zero proof that Shaggy & "Mary Jane" were close, personal friends. Within my heart I coddle the knowledge of what is obviously Shaggy's mega-metabolism. Well that, of course, and the physical workout he and Scooby recieve while running from the Creeper, the Mano-Tiki-Tia, et. al.

Yes, I'd want to be Shaggy. Just putting it out there, y'all. Aren't you glad I shared? It's your turn now...





41 comments:

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

How funny, I just commented about River Phoenix on a post about First Crushes.
I totally understand your longing to be Shaggy!

Amy said...

Okay..... I'm pretty sure I've seen smoke coming out of the top of the Mystery Machine more than once, but I'm not going to dwell on that. I think it's just genetics with Shaggy, let's go with that.
If I could be anyone for a day it would be a Michael Phelps, I want to know what that feels like. :)

heathersister said...

I would just like to have money like the rich and famous. To be able to go shopping every day and buy a $1000 purse or shoes. I remember when I was a kid my friends and I would talk about who we would like to be, like who had the best powers like The Bionic Woman or Jeanie from I Dream of Jeanie or Wonder Woman or Isis, anybody remember her?

Heather said...

I always wanted to be Barbie, with that bodacious figure, perfectly coiffed tresses all the time, an awesome wardrobe, multiple Ken dolls fighting over me, and all those fancy houses and cars...hello!

(Sometimes I still get to play Barbies with Isabel. It's fun for a minute, until she tries to tell my Barbies what to say and do.)

Caroline said...

Hmmmm, you have me stumped...for a moment, but that's nothing new. Aaaaanyway, I always wanted to be Mary from Little House on the Prairie. I thought she was so pretty and smart and for some reason when I was little, I loved the pink dress with the blue pinafore that she always had on. And then she went blind...and I wasn't all about that. She's still a beautiful girl and I still watch that show on occasion. It's actually in Focus on the Family's top five family shows of all time!

Look forward to talk to you soon!

sassy stephanie said...

Casey Kasum did Shag's voice though. That'dd blow it for me.

Shelley said...

I finally got Eclipse and am starting to read it. You know, they could have picked a better looking guy to play Edward. This guy will do, but he's not stunning to look at. I'm just sayin'.

Kat said...

That poor girl. And now she is going to have some interesting expectations about the men in her life. I hope she manages to find something remotely close to her fairy tale.

As for who I'd want to be. Oh, I have no idea. I can become whoever I want with each book that I read.

Lauren W said...

Ok, I'd just like to take a minute to comment on Shelley's comment... Ummm... actually, Rob is the perfect Edward. That's all. As for who I would want to be... that's going to take a little thought. I'll get back to you.

thotlady said...

I am not sure. I will have to think about this.

sippycupsandblackberries said...

See, I was a Johnny Depp kina girl. Although River wasn't far behind. As for who? Well, Smurfette would have been fun - the only girl surrounded by all those hot smurf dudes. But really, other than that, no clue. It changes on a day to day basis, really.

Drama Mama said...

When I was little I wanted to be Miss America of course-
Today I wnat to be Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland- She is tall, thin, gorgeous and can sing! Just for one day, I would love to know what it feels like to be her and be catered to- clothes, hair, makeup-
Oh, I gave you an award- I think you'll like it!

Jaci said...

When I was little, I wanted to be Ariel or Michelle Phifer's version of CatWoman. Now that I'm older, I still want to be Ariel and be super cute and tiny in my purple seashells and awesome voice. Plus I could swim all day. Gotta love that!

Mama Dawg said...

I wanted to be Mikey from the Goonies. He was the heart of the movie and the only one that 100% from the beginning believed in One-Eyed Willy and the treasure. To have that heart, intensity and belief in something today would rock.

Melissa said...

Thanks for the widget you nut!

I'm lovin' it and I would totally Baby from Dirty Dancing cuz nobody puts me in a corner! And I loved Johnny Castle. Wait....was this just cartoon characters? Okay, then I would be.....ummmmm.....Dora, cuz I want to speak spanish and eat mexican food all the time and have a monkey as my bff.

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

I always wanted to be (and this is goin' way back) Kelly (Jaclyn Smith) from Charlie's Angels ... to be beautiful and fight crime ... what a combo!

As far as cartoon characters, Wonder Woman all the way.

Can you see a pattern here? Strong women who fight the bad guys. It's like my life.

Live.Love.Eat said...

Man, I AM NO FUN! I have no idea. Uh, maybe Giada Delaurentis from Food Ntework because she can cook AND stay slim. Boring, I know.............

Becky said...

Thanks for the welcome! As for Twilight...Yes! I've read it and LOVE it...I am just starting the 3rd book now.
I notice you are the same age as me. The post you did on music lyrics from the 80's was so funny! I have had that MOMENT too where I relized...OMGosh...I sang this as a child! It makes me hope that alot goes over my kids head too. (either that or I really was in the dark as a kid!)

Ashley said...

As simple as you put it, this is a really tough question and I really have no idea. Off the top of my head - I'd say Julia Roberts b/c she just seems like a really fun down to earth person, pulls millions of dollars for one movie, and they are all great (except The Mexican). Or I could be Oprah b/c she has like 20 houses and is pretty convinced that she could run the world... that's confidence. I'm still not convince though... I'll have to think about it more.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Mr. B and I were talking yesterday and I was sharing with him that if I ever won the lottery or something like that, I would love to give the money away. So, I'm gonna say I'd like to be Bill Gates (but... maybe just a SMIDGE cuter?) and take all that money and take mom's who are tired of saying no on shopping trips, just so they can spoil their kids once. And help people pay that one bill that just is out of reach. And maybe build some houses for some people (or give money to Habitat and go out and swing a hammer or two) and sponser some make-a-wish kids, and send some kids to summer camp, and buy some medicine for people who need it but can't afford it, and fill some food shelves to the brim, and buy some WII's for some homeless kids shelters and buy my moms house for her and get my dad the a WORKING Vette, and buy some kids some glasses, and send a bunch of feminine products to Africa, and give a bunch of money to shaohannah's hope to help REGULAR people be able to adopt children, and.... ok... I'll stop.. I think you probably get the point.

Tiffany said...

I LOVED River .... GIRLLLLLLLLLL I had pic of him in my locker. I begged my mom to drive me to Hollywood so I could look for him...

We are SO separated at birth.

TentCamper said...

I will just say this because I a totaly being ignored...due to EDWARD. F Edward & Twilight!

But....Shaggy is the Bomb!!!!

TentCamper said...

I will just say this because I a totaly being ignored...due to EDWARD. F Edward & Twilight!

But....Shaggy is the Bomb!!!!

Rhea said...

I love that you want to be Shaggy. That's hilarious!

I wanted to be She-Ra. The princess of power. She had a flying horse, an awesome outfit and a big sword.

Sissy said...

I can imagine lots of people I would like to be...Heather reminded me that I love Alias and Sydney Bristow. I think I could also be Meredith Gray, cause she gets to kiss Patick Dempsey each week. And she's a surgeon, and I think I woulda liked that.

Fun post, Lula. I think about Edward too. And how when I put the book down, I miss him. Funny, huh? I think (as I speak for women everywhere) that someone that passionate and devoted to you isn't an everyday occurance. I mean, I know my husband loves me and I love him, but he isn't broadcasting it around and writing me lullabies and breaking headboards, you know what I mean?

Gina said...

I'm gonna get back to you on who I would like to be. I'm pretty happy with me. I wouldn't mind being a Tim McGraw groupie, though. I'm just sayin'.

Insane Mama said...

I want to be Bella in a realy bad way, Edward has me SO hot right now. Sorry you are having a bad day today. You know I stalk you on Twitter, so I know EVERYTHING!

It's the season, it messes with people, take some Vitamin B
XOXOX

Kori said...

I want to be Bill Gates. I want to have his money and his brains.

CaraBee said...

I wanted to be the girl gelfling from the Dark Crystal, because, you know, she could fly! And if not her then totally Princess Leia. I loved River but my heart was always with Michael J. Fox.

Mrs. S said...

If we're going with cartoon characters I'd want to be Ray from the Sailor Moon series. She was pretty & had a boy name, just like me.

Brandy said...

Great post! I need to give it some thought b/c right now I'm only coming up with Bella, but that's not very creative. I know I can do better...

Shelley said...

Hey Lula,

My email is shelley32177@gmail.com

I'm sorry that you are breaking up with me......over a man no less. PLEASE...DON'T....LEAVE....MEEEEEEEEEEEE...
Okay, was that whiney enough for ya?

I will just have to wait and see the movie to pass my final judgement on him. Who did they get to play Jacob?

See I could totally dig me some Shaggy. Fred is just too in love with himself for me.

Kim said...

Well, I guess I will tell my age with this one but...I was in love with David Cassidy at 13! And I had all the Tiger Beat posters all over my bedroom of Shaun Cassidy! But, I outgrew them and moved on to Tom Cruise! And look what he has become! It's okay! I have my perfect man....my husband!

Robin said...

Totally get the River Phoenix thing! I loved Stand By Me, and that he was in the video of the song for the movie! I do love Edward also. He can't be real b/c he is so perfect! As for who I would be, hmmmm............ I think I would want to be, (for fun now) Buffy b/c she got her some Spike lovin'!
As for a real person, I'll have to go with Angelina! She's drop-dead gorgeous, has Brad Pitt, well-respected for UN work, rich, and still manages to be a mysterious bad-ass! Can't beat that. LOL!

Heather said...

Oh how I miss River. Yeah, he did it for me too. *Sigh*

Angie's Spot said...

Pardon me while I swoon over the pic of River. So gorgeous. Even if he was a jerk in real life. And you know that I know. :-)

So, who would I be? Hmm, this is a very interesting question. I'm going to have to think on this one. I'll be back.

Debbie said...

The 6 Million Dollar Woman of course!

Now why are you having a bad day???

greedygrace said...

Ah, River. Now HE would have made a fabulous Edward!

I always wanted to be Laura Ingalls. She's cute, she always gets to wear sweet dresses, and she was teaching by the time she was 16. AND she gets to marry the yummy Almanzo!

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

Can't find your email. Email me so that I can ask you a private (shhhh ...) question.

daphne10171 (at) yahoo (dot) com

Trish said...

I would be Elasti-girl (you know, Mrs Incredible).

Hello Hot in Spandex lady who can do it all!!

Now, let's talk about what I want to eat right now at 11pm.......those frozen pilsbury cookies in my freezer are totally calling my PMS name.

Not done with Breaking Dawn yet. i don't know how you got through it in a weekend. It the toughest one for me so far.

But I still love ya!

Brandy said...

I've decided to be Smurfette. She had all the little smurfs waiting on her hand and foot. You never saw that girl do anything...I could get used to that.

Now there is the matter of being blue, but I could pull it off with the right lipstick.