Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Disconnected.

Have I told y'all that I love my BlackBerry, Blanche? I named her "Blanche," because she is attached to my hip, kinda nosey, and all up in everyone's Kool-Aid. Just as I imagine a "Blanche" would be...all pink-haired, gum-chomping, and polyester culotte-wearing Blanche. That's my phone.

And, through no fault of her own, Blanche had a bit of a setback this past weekend. The usual suspects who send multiple texts a day (ok, an hour!) were rather silent on Saturday and Sunday.  Like Duckie in Pretty In Pink, I sniffed under my arms and questioned, "Do I offend?"


Turns out the usual suspects were indeed texting me throughout the weekend.  Blanche, however, was not delivering said texts.  What gives?


Saturday passed with nary a word from my beloved peeps.  Oh, Nikki phoned while I was at a birthday party...and I think I talked with Tiffany at some point during the day. Otherwise, Blanche remained rather silent.  I didn't think too much of it.

Sunday is always busy around here. And by busy, I mean that after church we went swimming and floated the afternoon away in our pool, also known as the vacation in our backyard.  Good times.  And, as was her custom of the weekend, Blanche continued her silence.


At 9pm Eastern time the MTV Movie Awards obnoxiously roared into our living room.  Surely someone would text during these festivities!  After all, Twilight won a bojillion awards, Rob and Kristen didn't kiss when winning their kissing award (onscreen that is--ahem), and Andy Samberg called High School Musical "a movie about an all gay high school."  Are you kidding me?  WIN, WIN, WIN!!!!  Oh...Kings of Leon rocked it out and Denzel Washington, the last of the real dope deal movie stars, classed up the joint with his presence.  And Blanche didn't utter a peep from my peeps.  Seriously?  

On Monday morning I talked with Bekah and she was all, "Um...hi...why didn't you answer any of mine or Lauren's texts this weekend?"  

HUH?!?

On Tuesday afternoon I received the strangest text from Heather...it was the continuation of a conversation we'd had last Friday.  So rather than answer with the oft-used, "What? Huh?" I rang her and and asked, "What?  Huh?" Heather then laments, "I texted you a bojillion times during the MTV Movie Awards...that non-kiss...Bruno's bootie on Eminem's face...the trailer...and after about 6 messages I realized, 'Wow, she's not getting these!'"

Regrettably...no...Blanche did not deliver a single text.  Kid you not.

Around 3 pm on Tuesday, June 2, Blanche's chest swelled to double-D's and filled my inbox with about 27 text messages. Seriously.  She needed an underwire to support the strain of a full inbox.


Better late than never, Blanche.  

I love that in her bag of tricks, Blanche holds the keys to Twitter...Blackberry Messenger...Yahoo Messenger...Google Chat... and regular e-mail and texting, as a means of keeping in touch with the outside world.  Yet I still spent the weekend disconnected from my peeps.  (Except for that chat with Shannon while in Applebee's...love you, girl.)

Blanche, I love you.  

But not as much as I love my eldest child, who is able to climb into a locked car--via the sunroof--and collect the keys for me.  All while wearing a monogrammed sundress.  A southern belle in the making if I ever saw one.

This, my friends, is why children are the handiest beings in the world.  Forget Blanche...forget Twitter, messaging apps and whatnot.  Go get a Libbey.  Not mine, of course.  Your own.
She's going to be an amazing wife to The Boy one day.  No app purchase necessary.  No tweeting.  No disconnect.  Amen.

Blanche could learn a thing or two from my child.

43 comments:

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Why would Blanche do such a thing to you?
Are you speaking to her yet?

Trish said...

Screw Blanche, I want a Libbey.....

actually I wanted your Libbey, yet you have her betrothed to another.

whatever.

can I have a Caroline?

oooh, that sounds good together:
Cooper & Caroline.....

LORI said...

JUST READ A BUNCH OF YOUR POSTS--HILARIOUS! STOPPING BY FROM A BLOG OF A BLOG OF A BLOG...OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

Missy said...

What's up with Blanche! I agree - a total Southern Belle in the making!

Julie said...

that stinks, wasn't that a relative new phone too, I think I remember reading a post about that. And your daughter rocks for being able to get your keys for you, that is aweome

Heather said...

An entire weekend without texting?

I cannot believe it.

Have you forgiven Blanche yet? Found the problem? Kicked her in the bootay and told her to never let it happen again?

See, this is why I don't text...

Heather said...

P.S. Love the pictures of Libbey. Monogrammed sundress and all!

Caroline said...

Are we still in cahoots because of a certain choice Adam and I made not to know the gender of a certain precious babe in the slow cooker? If so, then I'll just have to admire the monogrammed sundress and call it a day, knowing that you'll never send me one.

It's time to get off the bitter bus and put some big girl panties on. I know you can do it.

And you could use the whole Libbey thing as a good marketing tool. Remember the song "Everyone wants a slinky, everyone needs a slinky" (or something like that). Well, just replace the word slinky with Libbey and there you go. Everyone needs a Libbey.

Kick Blanche to the curb. Obviously she's keeping somethings from you and you can't operate like that.

angie said...

Now that, is a girl who knows how to get the job done. Did Blanche get a reprimanding? :)

CaraBee said...

I was reading down through and I was like, picture of Libbey on top of a car...picture of Libbey half in a sunroof...picture of Libbey perched in a car...I don't understand what this has to do with Blanche...OHHHH, I get it.

Modern technology is great and all, but it ain't got nothing on a Libbey.

Sun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sun said...

Okay,
We are gonna have to figure something out because I thought Libbey was marrying MY BOY!!! :) ha.

Kat said...

I have issues with my electronic quirks, too. My cell phone likes to hold on to voice mails. For a few days. And it refuses to time/date stamp them.

I am so in the dark ages. I have never sent a text. Maybe if I bring myself to modern times, I'd be able to keep in touch. Better.

Amy said...

Now you do know that when Libby is oh about 16 or so and caught breaking into a car, it won't be so cute anymore. Just saying...lol!

Cute cute girl, she is! :)

Bekah said...

okay one of my fav posts of yours ever.
and if you don't text me back we're officially in a fight

Elena said...

I'm just glad to hear how well you are getting around on that new phone! And Blanche...what a perfect name. And darling Libby, so beautiful!

Jen said...

My model is called Kat. She's very handy for fetching mommy that bottle of wine from the garage refrigerator and for climbing the counters to reach the top kitchen cabinets when I'm too lazy to get out the stool. Quite handy, they are. :)

jori-o said...

She's adorable. And obviously very handy! =)

jori-o said...

And I love that your girls are always bow-bedecked! =)

Sissy said...

Love it. This totally looks like something my mother would have made me do when I was a child. And she looks so good while doing it!

Christina said...

LOL! I knew I was keeping these darn kids around for something!

Brandy said...

I was beginning to wonder about Libbey on the car, all while you were talking about Blanche. I'm thinking "What did she do to her?!?"...and then wham!

You hit me with Libbey is all great, and saved the day.

You should direct movies cause I totally did not see that one coming.

Jen said...

I want to be your texting buddy!?! And I do have one question. How does Libby get the keys if there is not a sunroof? 'Cause that is the kinda kid that I need.

THE Stephanie said...

Don't you just hate cell phones sometimes? They have a mind of their own... But that Libbey. She's a keeper!!

sassy stephanie said...

Mine has been totally fritzed lately too. My VMs are coming in sooooo much later. Does Libbey keep a calendar? I SO need a calendar in my palm.

Heather said...

God love it, momma!!! And her red toes. And her excellent bow hair. And her monogrammed sun dress. I need some of those. Where do you get them again?

Jenny and the Princess Peonies said...

I see you have several southern belles.

Blanche better get on the ball 'cause you won't make it through another silent weekend.

Shannon said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I was wondering what the pics were doing in this post! You crack me up.

And I love you, too.

Shannon said...

Just one question... what would you have done if the sunroof had not been open?!

Kim said...

Yep! She is amazing! She had to climb in the window at our house after Kristi locked us out! She is quite handy! Love you Libbey!

Becky said...

Amen for sunroofs:)

Amy said...

Well, maybe Blanche wanted you to have a little downtime.
Every once in a while my beloved bbry doesn't put through my e mails. Then they all come at once. I guess everything needs a break once in a while. :)

Marrdy said...

Blanche must have felt misunderstood.

And that Libbey is one handy girl. I could use her talents every once in a while.

Live.Love.Eat said...

Oh, TOO funny. Yours was the last and maybe the only blog I tried getting on last night from my iphone while in bed and all I saw was the 1st pic of Libbey. It just would not load & I went to bed. So I appreciate this even more after being teased.....

Angela said...

Blanche clearly did not understand the seriousness of her duties. LOL I am sure once you have a talk with her, she will not be remiss again. I, sadly, have no blackberry...no PDA...just my hardworking Razr phone that, God love it, has performed really faithfully while our internet and phone have been out at home for (Gah!!) three days now. Comcast is just not so "comcastic" these days! I am NOT feelin' it.

So glad you were able to retrieve the keys - and very cleverly! Adorable Libbey!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Did Blanche go on strike or what? Being disconnected is really not fun. Your daughter is beautiful :-)
I stopped by from SITS. i'll be back again soon. Nice to meet you.

Mariah said...

If I knew your number I would text you relentlessly and follow up with a concerned phone call if I didn't get a timely response, you know, cuz I care...not because I am annoying

WhisperingWriter said...

Shame on Blanche.

I'll keep my kids in mind if I ever need anything retrieved from the car.

Mrs. S said...

I love the pictures scattered throughout.

Wish I had a Blanche...nope, just my el cheapo phone minus texting or Tweeting or any fun such things.

SITS Girls said...

That Libbey is really 1/2 mine.

I got her picture in my wallet and my hopes and dreams of gorgeous grandchildren are pinned to her.

Sigh.

I'm glad I called instead of texted!

T

Carrie said...

She needed an underwire.

Sweet Lord, you are one funny broad...

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

Oh.my.goodness! I am sitting here at 630am cracking up! I love your humor! I'm new to blogging... and I have come across some blogs that I mark as a "I really need to read every entry" blog. so, I will be back

my daughter's (theluckiestmrs.blogspot.com) was the first one I've read...and then another... and another...I need to quit finding these gems! ...it's so hard to stay-tuned to so many great blog writers and still be a functional human being... thank goodness, she introduced me to the blog world at the end of my last semester of the dental hygiene program! (if you take a peek into my world, I would love to know :o)

my daughter won a "blog makeover" (from Blogalicious) for me... considering I had to ask my her what a blog was in April... (I was so excited, but then this thought *Yikes, what can I write about?*) After some more thinking *Yes! tie it in with another venture!* I am slowly learning the ins and outs and how-tos of it all!

LenaLoo said...

Try moving all your pics to your memory card so Blanche doesn't get mastitis again luv lol... it just might work...