A new feature.

One of my favorite words is "random." I use it a lot. It describes my life. My head full of useless knowledge works on a setting that I'm convinced is labeled random. So in honor of this, I've decided that each Thursday I will post the random, stream of consciousness-type stuff that flows through this noggin o' mine. How many times can I use the word "random" in one paragraph, I ask?

You have been warned. Run away! Or, stay! The choice is yours. I'll be here with my coffee (two Splendas and a splash of half & half, please), iTunes (currently playing "I Can't Wait" by Nu Shooz, one of my favorite 80's hits), and Dr. Pepper lipbalm, as it's my all-time favorite.

Speaking of make-up (are y'all loving this segue?) I don't think I've ever posted about my love for face paint. I am a make-up addict. A whore, if you will, as I'm not loyal to any specific brand. Today I broke out the "medium-beige" shade of my Bare Minerals--woo-hoo, summer's almost here. Bye-bye "light"--see you again in mid-October. I'll go no further, though, as my love of cosmetics deserves its very own post. Or two. Or fifty. I'm just sayin'.

Caroline and I went to Walmart yesterday and as we rounded the mountain I saw a sight none of us Lee Countians ever believed would be possible. There it was, proudly rising amidst our glorious mountains, a beacon for all who've held out hope. A vision for all who've believed that if they prayed hard enough, God would answer in the affirmative. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he's delivering burritos, breasts, and beans. In June, no less!

Do my eyes deceive? Are we really and truly getting our very own KFC and Taco Bell here in the most southwestern corner of the entire state of Virginia? More dining options? (Yes, I realize it's fast food. Leave it alone, people...do not burst my bubble.) More patients for my husband due to even higher levels of cholesterol? (Ok that one might be going too far, but it is what it is.) SERIOUSLY? Lee County is getting two more "restaurants." Folks, this is the equivalent of George W. Bush coming to town. Or at least Pat Sajak, regardless of whether Vanna's with him. This is the big time. Oh yes. Can't stress that enough.

Speaking of our wonderful little mountain town, agriculture is big industry around here. What? You're surprised? C-O-U-N-T-R-Y, folks...I spelled it out for you. (Drugs are also huge industry around here too, but I'll save that for another post.) This time of year we see a lot of cattle being...well, beefed up, rows and rows of corn, and miles of tobacco being raised. My family and I live on over 17 acres of prime farmland. I have a garden full of tomatoes, squash, peppers and cucumbers...but it's just a garden. Our main agricultural offering is not vegetables, fruit, beef, chicken, or even tobacco. No, we raise something else:

Yes, dear readers...you now know that really tall grass is actually an agricultural commodity. Because when this grass (which we've lovingly sewn, groomed, and cared for) is cut by an enormous tractor tomorrow, it will be shaped into rows that will eventually be formed into bales of hay. Many bales of hay. Hay that will feed my father-in-law's cattle, as well as the cattle owned by a family friend. It's the circle of life and I didn't even need Elton John to tell me so. You might wonder if hay farming is profitable? Yes. It saves Scotty the extra mowing time. That right there is worth its weight in gold. Trust me.

Now y'all can throw out random trivia at your next party or picnic..."Hey, I know someone who raises hay for cattle. Can you believe there's such a thing? How redneck!" Indeed. Moving on...

This time of year finds me in my yard pretty much anytime the sun's shining. Gardening is my thing...every spring I can't wait 'til the final frost so I can start burying my hands in the dirt. In the past few weeks I've put out my vegetables, herbs such as basil and rosemary, and a ton of annuals, including geraniums, angeliona, begonias, lantana, nemesia, verbena, melampodium and vinca. But the plant putting on the biggest show as of now is my most favorite--the peony. I love peonies...love that they're perennial (aka plant once, then you're done!), gorgeous and smell fabulous. Libbey and I cut a couple today and brought them inside. The fragrance is unreal, and the color...well, see for yourself:

My most favorite thing about the peony, though, is the way my precious little southern child pronounces the word: "Penny." As in, "Mommy, that 'penny' is simply beautiful!" Yes it is, my sweet, as are YOU. And baby sister, who just refers to them as "Oh, it's pink! A pink flower! It's boo-te-ful!"

Finally...a bit of helpful advice for those of you who are into working out and exercising. I am not into working out or exercising. What I'm into is watching Lost or reruns of Designing Women while spread out on the couch, eating chips and salsa. Or doing what I love even more...SLEEPING! While I'm not a member of the "I Dig Fitness!" craze, my flabby everything deems it necessary that I haul myself to the elliptical or treadmill at least every other day. I don't like it. I probably never will. But I do feel better after a good 30-45 minutes of feeling the burn, and I know my butt will eventually appreciate these efforts to lift it above my knees.

Get off the rabbit trail, Lula...yes, they are cute and cuddly and all, but back to the helpful advice.

Two things spurred me on tonight when I hit that "Can't go any more" mark. Five minutes after I started. Just kidding...it was at least 25! First was the movie I was watching while huffing and puffing. Of course it starred my boyfriend, Jason Statham. But it was a weird flick--Revolver--I only stuck with it due to my undying love for him. Anyway, just as I was about to give in and hop off the machine, there he was...in the shower...and I was all, "Oh yeah, I can keep going! Bring it on!" Get your minds out of the gutter--there was no nudity. Not even a buttock. Though I did press pause to be sure. Darn it. But still...it was enough to keep me going.
When does the The Bank Job come out on DVD? Sigh...

The other motivator came after the movie...I had my "Workout Jams" playlist blaring from the iPod dock, and Christina Aguilera's "Makes Me Wanna Pray" provided just the right amount of oomph to make me wanna sweat even more. Great song. Great vocals. Suprisingly a great message, considering one of her previous biggest hits was entitled "Dirrty." And don't even get me started on "Candy Man," with all its double entendres. Girl done got more than a little dirrty...

And thus you have my most recent exercise secrets...Jason's gloriousness and Christina's ode to prayer. When I say random, I'm guessing by now y'all are realizing I fully mean it in every sense of the term.

Welcome to Random Thursdays. Wait, are you still with me or have you all slowly left, one by one, hoping I'll never notice?

p.s. This is my 100th post since starting in January! To the 3 of you who've been with me since the beginning...thanks a lot! To the rest of you...I sincerely hope this latest effort hasn't scared you off. Remember...future posts will include confessions of a make-up slut, the drug czars of a small town, and one I've promised Tiffany. It's up next, girl. Can you hardly stand it?