My most favorite lip balm in the world is by Bonne Bell...it's Dr. Pepper flavored and it's jumbo-sized. I love it. Very much. And I'm unable to find it in my little neck of the woods. There are scads and scads of the regular-sized ones...you know, those that come in a Chap-Stik tube? No, I want the mega one, please. Alas, it's not to be found.
Off I go to search the wonderful invention known as the World Wide Web. "Big ol' Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker," please. Again, scads and scads of the regular tubes come up in my search results, but not a big one in the bunch. What's a girl to do?
Now I'm rationing what little I have left of my token large tube of Dr. Pepper lip balmy goodness. When it's gone I'm certain the wailing that issues forth from my person will be heard worldwide. I'm not kidding, y'all.
Not long ago Carrie mentioned one of her favorite products from that fabulous era known as the 70's...that lathery luxury known as "Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific!" shampoo. Make fun of the disco years if you must, but that decade contained some really innovative merchandise for its time. While searching for my coveted Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker (the BIG one!) I thought of yet another product I discovered and loved as a child in the late 70's/early 80's. Anyone remember Love's Baby Soft?
Off I go on another internet search, wanting to relive Christmas of 1982, when I was 8 years old and my precious Memaw gifted me with a full set of Love's Baby Soft products, including the cologne, body lotion and--swoon!--dusting powder! I liberally doused every inch of my then-little body with this "soft" scent until the bottles were emtpy...about 3 weeks later. Yeah, I smelled fabulous...and you could also predict my arrival at 50 paces.
The above ad is from the 70's...I'm not certain of the exact year, but HELLO! Are y'all sharing my incredulity? Utter unbelief? Oh, it is shades of Miley in Vanity Fair. And here we all thought Miss Cyrus was a scandalous hussy. Little did I know the way had been paved almost thirty years prior to Annie Leibovitz's talent behind the lens.
Yes, you lesiure suit-wearing, thick moustache-sporting, Pabst Blue Ribbon-drinking advertising execs, "innocence is sexier than you think." But a perfectly coiffed, pouting 10 year old child holding a fluffy teddy bear? With those come hither eyes? Are you kidding me?
Love's Baby Soft will never smell the same for me. Because now it will only represent pedophilia . Yeah, I said that. Pedophilia. Oh, it makes me wanna set something on fire. Darn debauchery.
Let's discuss this amongst ourselves, shall we? Not pedophilia, of course, but the number of things wrong with this ad. And if any of y'all can identify this Brooke Shields-wannabe, please do so...she certainly looks familiar but I just can't place her.
Oh yeesh...look at where my love for gargantuan-sized Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers has taken me. This is my world...I just live in it. And apparently I'll be living in it without a supersized version of the world's greatest lip balm.