Tuesday, July 22, 2008

My Tombstone Will Most Likely Be As Incredulous As My Life.

June 17, 5:30 p.m.--in the closet of our master bedroom, as I'm getting dressed following an afternoon of swimming...
Scott is giving me that look. You know...the look. I shouldn't have to explain further.


Me: Honey, just ask me later tonight...we gotta get to your parents' and I've got those cheese grits in the oven and I can't get sidetracked right now. OK?

Scott: We are married.

Me: Um...ya think?

Scott: Yeah, but we've been married over 8 years now. And we've been together 10 years.

Me: Again...ya think? (And I'm wondering why he's staring at me with that look, but not making a single attempt to cross the closet to where I'm standing--rather, where I'm performing my balancing act, with one foot in my shorts, the other simultaneously slipping into flip-flops.)

Scott: But what I'm saying is that I've been with you longer than anyone in my entire life...except my parents and family and all.

Me: Are you completely high? What are you going on about? More importantly, are you high?

Scott: I just can't believe we've made it this far. Eight years, baby...that's a long time, you know?

Me: Staring, mouth gaping, not a sound being uttered. (I know, right? You can't believe it. Me...speechless!)

He then turns to leave and mumbles, as if it's a second thought, "Well, baby--I sure do love you...I'm gonna start the truck..."

And I'm standing there...nekkid from the waist up, asking myself, "Did that conversation just happen?"

Thank God I had the presence of mind to finish dressing. Because I was certain that Jesus was returning in that instant. Why else would this conversation have happened? Furthermore, I don't wanna be caught up in the clouds sans appropriate undergarments...I fully intend on taking my favorite brassiere with me to Glory. It has fuschia, orange, and yellow stars on it, y'all.

And I love him. He's my BFF & soulmate. Scott is very rarely wacky. Perhaps the closet brings out whatever semblance of wackiness he has hidden in his heart. Regardless, he's my man...and I love him...and will for another 100 years, minimum. I just thought y'all should know.


Maybe he plays a little too much Xbox Live with the fellas. I'm just sayin'. All that racin' and fightin' and tacklin' and shootin' might be messin' with his head. Then again, he might be correct in his assessment that I'm the reason for his rapidly-growing grey hairs. Yes, I am that much fun to live with. In my starry brassiere.

35 comments:

Angela said...

Mmmm...cheese grits...

Well, that was just sumptin' else! Way to go Scott!

Sigh. Xbox Live. Don't they test our love when they strap on that little Time-Life operator headset? Blogging, Xboxing, we are just a couple of nerds at our house.

Kelly said...

maybe i should acknowledge *that* look occasionally and see what happens. nah, i'll just wait for the anniversary card. but very sweet, scott!

Debbie said...

I am cracking up...the whole image in my head of that conversation is just priceless...but the best part was talking about the rapture and not being nekkid and all... I had never thought about that...until now...jeez one other outfit I have to put together ;)

Rhonda said...

How sweet. But boys really are weird, aren't they? lol

Heather said...

Thank the Lord you thought to get your starry bra on. I was kind of hoping he was building up to popping out a three karat stunner for no reason at all, except that you're worth it. Which you are and I'm sure will make it's appearance one day. Unless it already has and you've just never told us.

That is SUCH a cute picture of you guys!! Who knew the good doctor was such a looker and I've always said you are stunning. Always said it. Now we know.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Awwww!!! The big lug :)

I'm sitting here freakin out now because the bra I have on is SO not heaven worthy...

Pinky Roth said...

no comment...

your mom

Karen said...

That 'We are married' line gave me the giggles. Sounds like he just had an epiphany or something...

You certainly are a good looking couple. :-)

Melissa said...

Were your daughters allowing you all to count change during this time?
Mine would have been banging on the door saying, "Mom, I want you!"
Awkward. Nothing like trying to be sexy with the sound of children ringing in the background. Can't say it's conducive to indulging "that look".
I'm so glad we finally get to see a clear view of you beautiful people! I'm going to name you
"Le Scott". (not that I need to explain, but like Brangelina. Just in case no one understands my stupid humor).

Neurotically Yours: said...

How sweet! I love it when the men in our lives floor us like that!! (and not the other floor they usually want 97% of the time)

And you painted the picture well in all your starry bra glory :) You make me want a starry bra.....

Jaci said...

That's so sweet! Don't we all long for those moments with our hubbys?

Your bra comment had me cracking up! If were picking underwear to take to heaven, I'm grabbing my minimizer! But, secretly, I'm hoping God will give me the body I've always wanted--meaning a perky A cup. I switch these DD's with anyone who wants to take 'em.

Yum, cheese grits! Is that a Paula Deen recipe?

Stephanie said...

You guys are so cute together. And thanks for the comment, I just saw Bank Job over the weekend. Jason is really hot. Do you like Christian Bale. He has been a favorite for a long time since American Psycho. HOT!!!!!

thotlady said...

Very sweet. I don't know how I found your site...surfing does that you know.

I read a few previous posts...OMGosh, 30 year anniversary of Grease. I can't believe it. My older sister and I used to ride around in her car (that dates me, I know) with the soundtrack of 'Grease' singing right along with every song at the top of our lungs, I might add.

Swirl Girl said...

I wonder what prompted the convo in the first place?

Horny, Guilty? Maybe a guy friend is having marital problems and he just needed to 'reality dose' to make sure things are okay.

See? That's me - always thinking that there is some ulterior motive for everything....

Maybe he just loves you, and who could blame him!

Mama Dawg said...

Oohhhh, cheese grits. My mama makes the BEST cheese grits EVER!!!

Y'all are too cute.

iPost said...

So sweet. And I get accused of causing all my hubby's gray hairs too. Not fair, I tell you!

Jenn said...

...Stumbled over from Melissa's.


Too Sweet!

Gina said...

Aaaw! That's so sweet.
We have been missing some of that in our 11 year marriage lately. But I just started reading Created To Be His Help Meet. It is pretty simple. And pretty profound. And already changing my viewpoint.

Drama Mama said...

At least you stood there and talked to him- I run the other direction when Big Daddy gives me "that Look!"

Kat said...

I think I'd be speechless during this "speech" as well. Mostly because he stayed on his side of the closet. If I am trying to change and Michael walks in the room...it's all over with his offers to "help." And it just doesn't matter that there are cheese grits in the oven. OR that I have company coming over for Christmas Eve dinner...

Sissy said...

I do love those mushy moments and I am so glad you recorded it for posterity?

Now, on to the important stuff...what happened later? LOL!

Caroline said...

I love it when men have these really deep moments, but can never quite verbalize what they are thinking. Usually, our deep moments are interrupted with (and Mr. Baseball would KILL me if he knew I was telling you this)

Mr. B: "Guess what?"

Me: "What?"

Mr. B: fart sound emanating from below

Me: "yay."

CaraBee said...

This is the third time I've tried to leave a comment and Google or Blogger keeps booting me, keeping my fingers crossed. Now I can't remember what I wanted to say. Hmmm.

Congratulations on 10 years together! My hubby is a World of Warcraft addict, so I totally feel you on the Xbox business.

Insane Mama said...

I have the same bra. And I love how it fits, I want to wear it as a bathing suit because that is how cute it is! AND IT FITS!
You guys are so adorable.

Insane Mama said...

YOu make cheese grits?
Holy yummyness

Insane Mama said...

No wonder your girls are so cute! Just look at you two!

notsosahm said...

Y'all are a seriously sweet looking couple. I know exactly why he stopped in his tracks after giving you "that look". You mentioned his parents. DOWNER for any guy. And you know guy brains. He started off thinking about...you. Then you mention his parents. So his mind wanders to his family. Wow he's known them a long time. Then, wait a minute, you're the next person he's been around the longest. Then, wait a minute, I'm married to this person that I've been around the longest other than my family...woah, do I smell cheese grits? See, that's how a guy's brain works. You lost him at "your parents'" But I'm sure he made it back to your starry bra around dinnertime and then couldn't wait to get home.

Trish said...

I think little miss beckie f. once referred to it as a "nooner".

No "fivers" there, eh?

funny to think that those conversations happen at houses all around the blogosphere!

Very cute pic of the good dr. and his sweet little wife.

Rhea said...

Lula, that was THE most romantic closet story I've ever read. Seriously sweet. You've got a keeper there.

I love that picture of the two of you. Adorable.

Robin said...

That was very sweet of him. Now, store it away, and on one of those days you wished you could wring his neck, pull it out, remember why you love him, and let it save his butt!

Melissa Lee said...

Hey, who's the hot chick in the picture with him?

Melissa at Stretch Marks

AFRo said...

Gurl. That was really sweet and I would've reacted the same way to his words. Great picture too!

Z's Mom said...

That was pretty funny and sweet at the same time..

That is a great pic of you both too!!!

Danyelle said...

You'll never know, dear, how much you crack me up. Please don't take my lulaville away.

Tiffany said...

I heart Scotty.