Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Bush!

My dear Melissa just wrote to inform that the porn-lovers of the world would have a hard time (no pun intended...oh, who am I kidding? Go with it, y'all...) finding Lulaville because I mispelled "Orgasam" in the post below. Well, darn Melissa Lee...love your heart...I did that on purpose to divert pimpy searchers, ya know? But thanks for letting me know that you caught it--and this didn't surprise me at all, because I know for a fact you are a genius when it comes to matters of a sensitive nature. (Thanks for being my blogging police. I feel blessed to know you have my back when it comes to our issues.)

For the record: I am aware that word has only 1 "a." But it truly deserves at least 10, on merit alone...aaaaaaaaaa. Get it? Please don't tell my Mama.

Mrs. R, I've got one word for you: Twitter.

Moving on...
Melissa's recent e-mail started these wheels of my mind, pondering about all the Google & other internet searches which send unsuspecting folks to Lulaville. I know I'm big on discussing tampons, Jason Statham's boo-tay, the nether regions, and songs about "self love," so why does it even faze me to discover someone Googled Brazil and vagina and wound up here?
Yes, I've mentioned "Brazillian wax," but not va-jay-jay. Yet.

And hello, Kansas-dweller! Sorry your quest for "naked celebritys" lead you here. For starters, if you'd spelled celebrities correctly I'm quite certain Google would've sent you to page after page of Paris' wa-hoo, Britney's lack of appreciation for undergarments, and the infamous Pam & Tommy sex tape. Or at least the latest on John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston. Perhaps the minds at Google thought you were hoping for a glimpse of Jason Statham's rear end.
ME TOO! If you find this image of his cheeky goodness, please leave a comment and let me know. That's one sight I'd pay the big bucks to see, and I'll even remember to wipe the "O" lipgloss off before I suck Miss Pretty Pink's screen. Yeah...I'd so kiss this laptop's monitor and I don't even care for a single second what any of you might feel about my admission of this. And don't y'all love how I take every advantage of posting his gorgeousness?
Jason Statham.

Oh my..."suck" will draw more of y'all in...if I write it, they will come. (NO pun intended there. Mama, please look away. But Carrie, I know you are loving it.)

I'm now afraid of doing my "Ode to Breasts" post because there's just no speaking of the mammaries without mentioning all the terms used to describe them. Even a breastfeeding shout-out (which I've done for a total of 2 years: 2 girls, 1 year each. Simple math is my gift!) will get me all kinds of boobie lovin', I'm certain.

Where's the peeps wanting to know about Scripture? God? Matters of faith? I've written on these many times. Yes, I'm one of those people. But I'm not a holy roller. Have you seen me roll? I shudder to think. To answer any lingering questions...no, I don't have big hair; yes, I'm only judgmental about big hair; no, I don't wear only long skirts and yes, I'm a closet Goth. In capris. And high heels. Toting a really cute purse. Thank You, Jesus.
Liberty University
(My alma mater! Surprised? Don't be. It's the world's most exciting Christian university. Well...probably not anymore, since me & my girls--all of whom are on my blogroll--are long gone.)

What about other Mommy bloggers whose children aren't perfect? Who also have sand eaters, Scooby watchers, dance recital performers, mulch/dirt lovers, and children who know the term "dillweed?" We have this AND MORE here in Lulaville. Search and find, y'all!



Where are you music lovers who want to discuss the genius of Nick Drake, Watermark, Rita Springer, Keb' Mo', Miles Davis, Simon and Garfunkel, or the Beatles? I'm here! Come find me!
beatles


And I know there are millions of Lost fanatics (we who admit we have a slight obession--in a non-addictive manner, of course) who'd love to rant and rave with me about our favorite show. Where are you Sci-Fi nerds? Battlestar Galactica is seriously the best. You southern gals--DESIGNING WOMEN. Watch with me...I implore you. Vampire lovers...why aren't you digging Buffy and Angel? I mean...come on! We'd have so much to share.
Lost Logo

Book devourers...let's discuss what Mrs. R refers to as "Crackliture," i.e. Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. BEST BOOKS EVER. Near Lulaville's beginning I did a big post on my all-time favorite book in the world, The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin. Love, love, love it...and reread it every single year.
Westing Game Cover

Google...Yahoo...MSN...why aren't y'all sending these people my way? Are tampons and minty-fresh tooties my only redeeming qualities? Lord, help me!

So to the person in France wanting to know all about "Sugar Walls," I'm sorry all you found here in the 'Ville were musings on Sheena Easton & Prince. And maybe that's what you were looking for anyway. Deep down I know the real deal, though...you're French, you're searching sugared walls...awwwww, yeah. I know what you're after: Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez!


*I can now name a number of gals who are snickering, averting their eyes, and silently nodding, "Yes, that is so Leigh Anne." Mama, you don't count, but Kaley--you've been outed! And I love you forever.







18 comments:

notsosahm said...

Great minds think alike (well, I think)! I just posted about getting ready to post about google searches. Not being a writer of issues of the nether regions I don't get very many searches for those type things...although I'm certain to up the amount of giraffe tongue kissing searches.

Mrs. R said...

I have never checked what google bring to my door... hmmm... I am all a twitter...

insane mama said...

I actually think that twitter has sent some odd people to my page... Love it when a good friend can catch you on your misspellings
I love how you tell a story and touch on so many different aspects

Kelly said...

here's my most interesting recent search term leading people to us: rhymes with bucket. go figure.

Angie said...

I don't have any real interesting google searches that have landed people in my little slice of internet heaven. I'm keeping a pretty good eye on it though. And Jason Statham is totally hot!

Melissa Lee said...

Uuuuhhhhhhhhh.....

Wait, here it comes....nope...

Uhhhhhhh......

Okay,let's try this again....still no....

Uhhhhhh.....

Lula I'm speechless. This almost never happens. Oh, what you do to me. But thanks for kickin' a shout out to me. I think?

I see your up to FIVE already and I'm still at a big, fat ZERO!!

My Word.

Melissa Lee said...

Oh, P.S.

What is the Westing Game? Will I like it even if I don't like Vampires who live in intergalactic worlds and spend time eating sand and watch Jason Statham movies?

Cause that's not really me, ya know?

Pinky Roth said...

Very interesting take on your likes w/the world!

Love,

Mom

PS You know I try to read your blogs everyday!

scargosun said...

OMG! Brain on overload. Who knew what you could find thru your blog. You are a magnet for all sorts!

Candid Carrie said...

If you have ever said "orgasm" while having an orgasm, you would it pronounced "orgasam."

Trust me, I know these things.

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, my. I don't think I stopped nodding my head and chuckling the whole time I was reading.

Mama Dawg said...

I just nominated you for a bloggers choice award. You might want to go by the website to see if you can get that nomination button thingie to add to your blog so people can vote for you.

Adiel said...

This post is beyond funny. Good stuff!

(I love the Lost!)

Caroline said...

That was truly great! I was laughing out loud! So glad you could bring some humor and craziness to Liberty. I thought all of it was at UNC Greensboro with me and my friends.

Debbie said...

Lula...you are Coppertone-Cracking me up..."I am typing this and the little girl's fanny in your post below is staring at me.) How long does it take for you to write your posts...because they seem to just roll off the keyboard when I read them...so funny...so funny!

Melissa said...

You have many redeeming qualities! One of which is that you are smart enough to think to misspell the "O" word!
We've been on Vay Cay this week to Daytona Beach. It's been awesome chillin' by the beach.
I need to revamp my page again....ttysoon...!

Kat said...

My Lula :-) You know...I haven't gotten much in the way of crazy internet searches. Except for the search for "Katie Cokks." Not sure why google pulls up my blog and my "Katie Cooks" posts...and the even bigger question being why the porno seeker would click on what is clearly a recipe.

Oh...and did you see my mini sex fiend post...at the end of the meme I did on Tuesday? I'm still hard at work on the big one. Hah!

Tracey_iPost said...

I am, at this very minute, sitting about 10 min from Libery U! I am visiting my parents in Lynchburg and am catching up on my blog reading!! Oh, and I am sure I am getting some porn seekers too with my "Great Tits" post. :0p