Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Indicative.

***Welcome to all you fabulous folk who've wandered here by way of SITS. I am loving your comments, I am reading every word of your comments, and when my two small children start college I will have time to respond to your comments. Isn't SITS a wonderful thing? The girl power I'm feeling (hello, TentCamper and Greg!) today is so overwhelming that not only will I be breaking out my Spice Girls CD, I'll also don my red wig, platform boots and Union Jack tank top so I can get my Ginger Spice on. Because really, who can aspire to Posh-ness?***


Place: Woodway Water Authority, Lee County, Virginia
Time: Yesterday, Tuesday, June 10, 11:43 a.m.
Why: Had to pay the water bill.

As I'm glancing down while stubbing my checkbook (in which my awesome University of Georgia checks reside) I hear the receptionist say to the man who just entered, "Hey there--whatcha been up to lately?" The fellow replies, "Not much. Just dropping off my bill here and then I'm on my way to a job interview at 12:00." I still have not looked up, but hear the obvious incredulity in the young lady's voice..."Really? Well, good luck!"

With that, I turn to walk out door, and see He Who Has A Job Interview In 15 Minutes. The man is resplendent in faded, plaid cut-off shorts and a white wife beater (muscle shirt or tank top for those of you unschooled in all that is redneck). Written upon said wife beater is, "My Man Hambino is #1!"

I don't know who Hambino is. Maybe a pork product got jiggy with an albino, thereby creating the perfect specimen now known as a Hambino? Is there more than one Hambino? How does Water Bill Guy know this particular Hambino is #1? These are the questions that plague my day.
You know without a doubt the person interviewing Hambino-guy is gonna totally see his champion worthiness and hire him on the spot, no questions asked. Because I left out the part where he tells the receptionist that this interview is for a position at Walmart. Long may it reign! And may it reign alongside Hambino. Those two are made for each other. And I mean this in the lovingest way possible.

*And this is the part where I cover my bases so that fellow Lee Countians (or as I call them, ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO LOVE AND ADORE LULAVILLE BUT REFUSE TO LEAVE COMMENTS!) do not hunt me down like a dog in the night for poking fun at the peeps in this area. Lee County is like a family member, in that it's fine and dandy for me to take a few pot shots at this land I love, but outsiders beware--you talk smack about my mountain town and I'll take you down! Most southwesternest corner of Virginia...I love you...at times you grate on my nerves, but 90% of the time you and I are thicker than thieves. If I poke fun, it's always with the gentle nudging of love.

I feel the exact same about my brother. Love you, Eric.

This is Stone Face Rock! I passed this everyday growning up!
Pennington Gap, Virginia's very own famous landmark--the Stone Face! Our mountains are rather impressive, no? Lee County Chamber of Commerce, I am sitting by the phone, awaiting your inevitable call.

50 comments:

leezee52 said...

Cool...I'm 1st to say congrats on being the SITS of the day.... Way to go girl you rock!!!!!

iPost said...

Found you on SITS! Love your blog. And I am a down-home girl just like you that has neighbors just like that. And it seems to always involve a Wal Mart. Check it out.

http://findingbeautyinmosteveryday.blogspot.com/2008/06/warning-this-is-rude.html

Carrie said...

Hi, I am so glad I got here early. In another two hours the traffic here would be so intense that I'd be scrolling down for almost an hour to get to the bottom. Enjoy you well deserved day.

KimmyJ said...

I am LOL about your surmissing the meaning of Hambino. I'm here thru SITS, but I already found you before that. Cuz your funny and southern - a gurl after my own heart.

Tara said...

You should see some of the specimens over here in Coventry, England. The sun is just starting to come out for our summer and the shirts come off. In the city centre. These men are clearly at work somewhere and if it's not a building site or a open air lido or a topless bar then you would be horrified. Come to think of it you would be horrified anyway. They wouldn't win any Mr Hot Totty contests, put it that way!

Kelly said...

i'm all the time lamenting the unjustifiably shirtless men at our local open air lido. okay, i'm lying. i just wish we *had* a local open air lido....it sounds so much more exotic than where i see all the hairy pits. which is wal-mart, of course.

Debbie said...

Like Carrie said, I am glad I got here early...because by the end of the day, it's gonna be so crowded in here that I will just give up and go home. And once everyone finds out what we know about my BFF Lula, your sitemeter will be rolling like that meter on times square that keeps an ongoing tally of the national debt...Enjoy your day. You are about to become a STAH!

Rene said...

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Your blog!! Surfed over from SITS and sure glad I did! I'll be back both cuz you're a fellow belle and just cuz you are just so darn tootin' hilarious!

Pinky Roth said...

Yes, I will agree that PG is a little piece of heaven even w/the wife beaters, etc. LOL!

Mom

Amanda said...

hey there, came over through SITS! I'm loving the graphic analyzation of the true ancestry of the hambino, hilarious!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Came over from SITS...enjoy your day

scargosun said...

Yea! SITS's of the day!!! Love the pic of PG and the Stone face. Who makes fun of your town!? :( That's not nice!

Deb said...

OMG! If I had the presence of mind to take a pic I can beat that story with one of a man at my local grocery. But alas, words could NEVER do this man justice. So your story shall remain #1.
BTW! Did you ever find out if he got the job? Just wonderin.

I see the face in the mountain - how kewl is that?!!
Rock On Featured Blogger! Rock on!

Ben & Hillari said...

I have a friend who must live pretty close to you...and I agree...it's beautiful there...but a bit "different"! My friend lives in Lebanon and my how I love those mountains. And the 1 hour drive to get to a mall! Being from the country is great though...even up north...we have some fine specimins near us that I should blog about sometime!

M said...

Found you on SITS, and I love your blog!

How cool is it that you met Paula & Capt. Michael?!?!

Rhoda @ Southern Hospitality said...

Came over from SITS & looks like a fun & funny blog! Love your header & background. I'm a GA peach too, now residing in B'ham, AL. So nice to meet you! I'll be reading more.

Rhoda

LaDeana said...

Great Blog. It looks like you live in a beautiful area!

Judy Haley said...

what else would you wear to an interview at walmart?

Mrs. R said...

Hambino...maybe Spams Mexican cousin?

frillsfluffandtrucks said...

Doesn't everyone wear their wife beater to a job interview? I'm impressed you both managed to keep a straight face when he said that!

~ Sarah

Amber said...

I see the face, I see it, I do. I can never pick these things out. Congrats on being a fave of the SITS. You are so very funny.

Trish said...

woooohooooo!! You are gonna be famous!!
Can I say I knew you when?
Actually we are tight because I know that you are BFF's w/ Beckie F, and I once had dinner and played Cranium w/ Beckie F. So that practically makes us family.

I know what ya mean about the ol' home town, you just love to hate it, but if anyone else disses on it you just love to have them. I always felt the same way about my little sister.

hooray for SITS.

Chris said...

Hi! Came from SITS, but I'll be back. I love finding another Lost fan! You even include screen shots! Enjoy all the comments!!

Susie Harris said...

It's so funny what we will do for a comment. I feel like I hit the jackpot when I get a new one. Great blog and will be back soon, Susie H

insane mama said...

Hambino.. Don't let it plague you,
embrace it. It's better that way.
xoxo

The Mom said...

Yay for the SITS love today!

Caroline said...

Apparently I reside in Lulaville's sister city, although I have failed to find a creative name for said town. I think our Wal-Mart has several Hambinos or Hambinas, however you want to look at it. I think I'm going to add you to my blogroll if that's okay. I love your stuff!

Sandi McBride said...

Hambino? Why, it's the new white meat, replacing pork as the new white meat which replaced turkey as the new ....oh hell, you get the drift
Sandi

American in Norway said...

Hello from Norway... LONG way from Georgia...Found you on SITS.. FUNNY... Will be checking back with you!

Adiel said...

Hambino...
It couldn't possibly mean what I think it could.


Or could it?
Yikes!

TentCamper said...

Well hello there my dear. Thanks for the "shot out" up top.
As for Hambino boy...no wonder I can't find work...you mean I have to ge rid of my wife beaters? I have to say, I think I look quite sexy in them.

You willhave to go to Walmart in a few weeks and let us know if Mr. Hambino is embracing the world of rtail sales.

ugagirl30 said...

I sooooo love my UGA checks, too!!! Go Dawgs!

Supabloggasuprememama said...

Congrats on being featured on SITS. awesome! love this post. hilarious.

Biteofpunkinpie said...

i came by way of sits and wanted to let you know that i KNOW what you mean about the wifebeaters... in the particular hillbillyish town we went to today for lunch, i saw a very fine specimen of hillbilly wearing not just his wifebeater but completed the ensemble with his honest to goodness overalls! and, he was comin' out of the nicest restaurant in town! can you imagine?!

Jenn said...

Found you on SITS...great post!

Elena said...

Oh my goodness, your t.a.m.p.o.n. post is HILARIOUS! My favorite SITS post yet, and that's saying a lot cause they're all good. I especially liked the "not far enough in shimmy", too funny.

gina said...

I once interviewed a cocky kid wearing a wife beater...I think he thought I was going to fall in love with his biceps. Wait...I know he thought it...because he told me so. That was right before he told me he punched his last boss for disagreeing with him. Hmmmm..

Found you on SITS. Rock on, Girl Power!

gina

Greg said...

LOL you are such a RockStar right now. Thanks for the shout out!

Karen said...

Someone told me, not long after I arrived in the US, that they were going to go and buy some 'wife beaters'. I was really relieved to find that he was referring to what i would call a 'singlet'. :-)

LaQuintamomof3 said...

Came your way via Mrs. R You are hilarious!

Gina said...

Lula! You're famous now. I came by this morning and discovered that you had snuck ahead of me and gotten famous first. I'm not bitter. I'm going to be joining you in that golden spotlight soon. MOVE OVER!

Laurel said...

Found you on SITS. I love that part of our beautiful "commonwealth"! Normally I live in the other part of the state (NoVa) but ... alas I do not at the moment. Nice bloggin' girl - thanks for the laughs.

www.lifeinkathmandu.blogspot.com

Jaci said...

Wow. That's really under dressed, even for Wal-Mart. Maybe if he had an interview to cut grass or something... He didn't have one of those probation ankle bracelets on, did he? That would explain a lot.

Teri said...

Hi Lula, I keep seeing you everywhere! Finally thought I needed to check in and see what's up. Too funny! My nephew recently went for an interview wearing jeans, tennis shoes and a tuxedo shirt. Um, didn't get the job. (really?) I'm putting you on my daily blogs to stalk list now. You rock!

insane mama said...

I am such a dork, I can't figure out how to direct t twitter straight to you... Give me time, don't leave me, I'm working on it

Sissy said...

Lula, I just read your post about Paula Deen and saw that pic of your whole face, not just your eyes. You are gorgeous! What a pretty woman you are!

I am going to the post office today!

SunEGrl said...

Came to check out your site. Just saw your blog on SITS.

Heather said...

That was my boyfriend. Please don't make fun of him. HIS pet name is Hambino and I gave him that shirt for Christmas. I'm very proud of his Wal-Mart aspirations and I think he'll make a peach of a greeter.

Crystal said...

Well as a fellow Lee Countians...AND YES I am commenting finally...did that shirt really surprise you considering it is here?!! HEHE

~~Hambino: Hamilton Porter became a professional wrestle and known as The Great Hambino!~~

Angela said...

Stone Face! I was just thinking about that thing the other day! Its been years since I've been to Pennington Gap. That's a beautiful photo!