Mind if I get a little personal with y'all? Like I've never before, but this happens to be a topic I rarely touch on because, well...it has to do with a part of my anatomy that really grosses me out.
Whew...here we go...deep breaths...and now I'll spill it:
FEET. Footsies, Tootsies, Piggies...whatever you call them.
I hate feet. Not just my own, but feet in general. How one feels called to the profession of podiatry is beyond me. I mean...euuuuuu, that's just gross. I'd rather look in dirty ears or filthy mouths all day than even breathe the same air as a naked foot.
Have you ever noticed Doritos smell like dirty feet? I digress.
My own feet are far from spectacular, so I'm not singling out a random foot population. I am an equal opportunity hater of feet. I have Fred Flintstone toes...my arches are high and marred by lots of ugly blue veins, the result of years of dancing in pointe shoes. I have wide feet, which is a polite way of saying "chubby." Even when I wore a size 4 in clothing I had chubby feet. Go figure. Cute, strappy sandals never my feet fit due to their breadth, and it's always a search to find anything that doesn't scream, "INCOMING--'mom' shoes from Walmart!"
Last month I had my very first pedicure. I'm 33. I know! Grieve along with me for just a minute. Being pampered was rather enjoyable, but it's not something I can keep up due to living in the country, constantly gardening & being in the pool, and raising two children. Having those painted toes did make me feel a little better about the state of these pitiful soles. And hey...to prove how bad my feet really are I will share this picture taken immediately following their beautification:
I'm not throwing love to my thighs, stomach, or flabby arms. These can (and will!) be fixed...nothing some diet, exercise, and a knife-wielding surgeon can't handle. But my feet...well...I feel hopeless...
Any suggestions from the blogging world? Favorite polish, foot care product, a plan for further foot beautification? (I do slather on the Vaseline each night, and cover with fluffy socks!) Care to share your least favorite body part with the rest of us? Insane Mama, I said least favorite, not most! We all dig your chest, for sure!
I don't know that I'll ever be able to glance down and think, "Wow--those are some cute feet!" But I would like to make amends and bridge the gap between utter disdain and modest acceptance. So help me, please...my piggies are tired of crying wee-wee-wee all the way home.